Picking up from yesterday -
Before I get to the beautiful part of the story, let me just quickly address the question some people have.
“Why didn’t you just move back to Ohio with your parents?”
I made a promise to myself when I was much younger that when I graduated high school, I would leave and I would not move back.
I knew that there would be struggles, but I promised to face them head on.
Many people can live a happy life in the Midwest. But as someone who wanted to work in the entertainment industry, I believe that if I had to move back in with my parents in Ohio, it would be a sign of failure. I wasn’t ready to fail.
Not to mention, I’d felt so pitied when I was sick. I didn’t want to play into that. “Wah, wah, poor Aurora got so sick. Now she needs to be taken care of by her parents.”
I felt that I was an adult and it was time to act like one and figure out a way to figure out making my life work.
(“Where were all your New York friends?” might also be a question that comes up. Some of them lived in dorms and were only allowed visitors on certain nights and things. Some of them were out of town doing shows in other places or studying abroad. Many of them did help me with a place to stay when they could. But, it’s not their job to take care of me. I love my friends, but you can only ask so much of them, you know?)
Now, do I think it was the smartest idea to not move back in with my parents?
Well, the cons of being too proud to do that are that I’m still not back to my pre-surgery weight. Granted, I haven’t made it my top priority and maybe I should’ve. I’m also still carrying some debt. Obviously, I’m paying it off and have a much easier time making payments now.
But had I moved back in with my parents and taken a year or so to just focus on me, I probably could’ve gotten my health and bank account in order. You never know what would’ve happened, but it might have been smart.
Some successful people lived with their parents for a while. I think Kanye West lived with his mom until he was 26. In the end, I think that perhaps the real “grown up,” or the real person who can feel pride in her decisions, is the one who takes every advantage she can even if that means living with her parents. It’s the one who is humble enough to ask for help when she needs it. Pride is not always good. Humility is often a good trait. (I think both pride and humility can be good and bad in different circumstances.)
But, forgetting the cons of not moving back with my parents – there were some pros.
I have lived with nothing and have been shown that that’s totally doable and okay. Sure, I have a swanky apartment and iPhone now. But if I had to lose it all, I could, armed with the knowledge that I’ve survived before. I certainly could do it again.
I also think I’m slightly more thankful for things I do have. I’ve lived in my place for over a year and a half, and I still marvel at the wonderfulness of it.
Not to mention, whether it was stupid or smart, or who knows what it was, I will always the fact that I never moved back in with my parents after high school. To me, that was something I wanted. And I get to hold dear that little fact about myself.
In the words of Fred Astaire (and more famously Frank Sinatra), they can’t take that away from me.
I’ll pick back up with the story tomorrow.