Picking up from yesterday –
I was saying I’m not usually as busy as I think or say I am.
(A horrible glaring example of this is the fact that I still have not sent out all the thank you cards to donors to my fundraising page. I have sent out some, but not all. And that is skyrocketing to the top of my priority list. ‘Cause really, there is no excuse.)
There have been a couple of occasions in my life where I was truly too busy for anything at all.
(One of these lovely occasions was on a show in high school – I had no social media (therefore wasting no time on it). I spent my entire day painting sets, running errands, running lines with actors, and on and on. I’d only eat when I was doing paperwork or taking notes. I really was too busy for anything. It was wonderful to feel I had such a focused purpose for a few weeks, and let that show envelop my entire life.)
So, yeah. I know some super cool people (and hope to be super cool myself at some point) who work on huge projects (bigger than a high school show – though not to hate on high school shows ’cause they are important, wonderful, and building a foundation for your future work) and eat, sleep, and breathe their projects. That’s amazing, disciplined, inspiring, and so awesome.
But one thing that’s crazy is that it’s some of my busier friends who are the absolute fastest at responding to things. I think it might be because they’re so busy, they’ve learned to not let anything wait – just respond to people as immediately as you can.
Basically, I’m making an effort that if I say I’ll respond to something later since I’m just (dramatically puts head oh forehead) oh so busy now, or if I tell a friend I just don’t have time to hang out… but then I find myself talking about 2 episodes of Price is Right I watched off my DVR in a day – I’m really trying to notice and address that disconnect.
I’m trying to say to myself, “Hey Aurora. Be better to people. A person who can’t make time to send back an email is not a person who can tell you about the crazy Joey Fatone cooking show that comes on at 3:30 in the morning where he talks to potatoes and falls on the ground.”
Another piece of being accountable and more truthful to others is being more accountable to myself. I have dreams, you know. Professional and personal dreams that all take time and discipline. And the work that goes into making those dreams reality should take a very high priority in my life.
I’m good about writing out goals and knowing what I’m going toward. But, I’ll admit that in some of the twists and turns of my life, I’ve gotten worse and better at continuing to (like Walt Disney always said) keep moving forward.
Sometimes, I’ll have a lot of things I want to do, and it’ll feel like there’s no time for any of it. But then when I actually look at my day, there was definitely time I could’ve been much more productive.
So, when I even blow myself (and my own dreams) off because I’m just “soooo busy,” I need to notice that disconnect as well. (Am I really that busy, or am I procrastinating on something that may be sort of difficult?)
(In this “year of responsibility,” I actually am getting better about getting into all those old habits of writing more, working out more – all that good stuff.)
I know it’s hard sometimes, ’cause sometimes you’ll work, work, work, write, write, write. Then, you get rejected from everything (getting rejected from everything could so be another post completely unto itself). Then you wonder, “what do I even write about now? And how do I get better?”
So I get the whole wave of productivity that goes up and down. But, up is better. So, I’m going to continue to really make an effort to use my time more efficiently – and to be honest with myself and others about the use of my time and how much of it I really have. (That still doesn’t mean I’ll always have time for everything. But, I will take a more honest look at it.)
(Side note on all this relating to how we treat others and don’t always make time for them: In my opinion, Los Angeles can get a bit a lonely… No, you know what? Let’s talk about that tomorrow.)