Birthdays (And Friendships) And Facebook – Part 1

May 17, 2013

FB truth ecardI was going to post this a little closer to my birthday (June 25).

But, since it fits into the series of somewhat related posts of this week, I’m gonna go ahead and do it now.

I have always been staunchly against putting my birthday on my Facebook profile. (Not ’cause I’m so weirdly protective of my age (since you live and die by your age here in L.A.) – no, without the year involved, I’ve been very against putting the month and day up there.)

The reason for this is because I want to believe that people care about me – and care enough to actually remember my birthday.

But, do you know what’s happening to people now with everyone relying so hard on Facebook birthdays? A year or two ago, one of my very best friends in this world (whom I’ve known since we were kids) called and said, “Happy birthday… I think. I thought it was your birthday, but when Facebook didn’t tell me it was, I wasn’t totally sure.”

Someone who knows me better than most, and certainly longer than most, wasn’t even sure anymore ’cause that’s how much we rely on Facebook.

Now, I’ve already admitted in an earlier post this week that I have been rude before by congratulating people on Tony noms through Facebook. Obviously those are way, way, way – a million times bigger than birthdays. So, I should absolutely lump myself into this judgement I’m about to do here.

found this in an image search, but KickInTheHead.org is pretty funny. Think about checking it out if you get a chance.
found this in an image search, but KickInTheHead.org is pretty funny. Think about checking it out if you get a chance.

But, what I don’t like about Facebook is how complacent we’ve all gotten. I think it is crazy when a million people write “Happy birthday” on someone’s wall.

(First off, really? Just “happy birthday”? How about at least “happy birthday, [name of person]” – or better yet a nice, personal message celebrating that person ’cause that’s sort of the deal with birthdays.

(Even though it’s a little silly to celebrate birthdays ’cause we didn’t really do anything special that day, but that’s be a whole ‘nother post. It’s a social norm. It’s fine.)

So, anyone a bunch of people write these super impersonal messages in the most impersonal way possible (on a Facebook wall – gosh, even a tweet would be better!). And then people have statuses that are all, “Thank you so much for all the birthday love! I feel so special!”

What, really? ‘Cause a computer program told all of your acquaintances it’s your birthday. Then they took 5 seconds to write happy birthday on your wall. They didn’t even have to leave their home page to do it! (They can just do it in that birthday space in the corner.)

(If you’re someone who has done that very status, I’m sorry to insult you in the blog here… But uh, even if I like you, I still can’t ever get over those statuses.)

Last year, I was so awkward about my birthday. (I don’t know why I specified last year when I always am.) But, last year especially – I tried something new in this crazy world of social media.

Joey Tribbiani from Friends crying on his birthday - why god, why
“Why god, why?!” (This was SUCH a good show.)

I put that my birthday was on June 25th. And I blocked people from writing on my wall.

Then I put up a status with something along the lines of, “Yes, it’s my birthday, but I hate Facebook. If you care enough to say happy birthday please send an email or a text.” (And I gave my email address.)

But then, instead of anyone actually doing that – everyone just started commenting on that status!

(Side note that drove me crazy – someone who really doesn’t know me very well at all (has met me at a race or two) wrote something like, “So you’re ___ now, right?” (with an older age!). And when you phrase it in that kind of declarative way, people think you are that age. (Or at least that’s what paranoid me thinks.) Come on, man! Why would you do that to an L.A. resident? (Especially when you really have no idea how old she is! A birthday is a time to make someone feel good about themselves, not make them think they look old. Right?)

(And a side note about him, he actually seems like a pretty nice guy – just one who doesn’t always say the most polite/appropriate things in public forums.)

I’ll continue with this mess of a story and thoughts tomorrow.

I'd love to hear from you! So whaddya say?