I’ve spent the last many days talking about how unbelievably special it was spending time with my high school theater teacher, her family, and her team.
And I have a horrible confession to make. It almost didn’t happen. All the retirement stuff happened quickly and last minute. My teacher only announced after the final show of the season closed.
I actually found out online, which hurt my feelings a little at the time. I’d always assumed that since I consider B to be a very close friend, that I would hear it straight from her when she decided to retire.
When I found out through the grapevine, I called her right away. “Hey now! You’re retiring, and didn’t tell me?!”
My feelings were un-hurt when I realized exactly how many people she didn’t get a chance to tell before the news traveled. She wanted to call people and tell us. She planned to. But, she wanted to make sure her students heard it first and from her. (And they deserved that.) Then, you know how things are with social media. As soon as she told her current students, practically everyone knew.
Everything was happening so fast with so many crazy emotions going on, I felt like we were all being pulled along by the news, barely hanging onto that light-rail for dear life.
I found out about the party through Facebook. (And we all know how much I pretty much detest Facebook.) The event was started by a person from theater. It wasn’t one of her daughters, or one of the sort of legends of the program currently working in the industry – just one of the fairly passionate former students.
And I was so confused by it all. One of the reasons B waited so long to make her announcement, was she didn’t want anyone’s senior years eclipsed by her final year. She always shirks being celebrated. I didn’t know if this was a party she wanted, or one being sort of forced on her by the faculty or school or whomever else.
I didn’t know if this was an official party, or one that fairly passionate former student was throwing. I couldn’t totally gather if it was supposed to be for everyone from all the years, or if it was more for the current students to celebrate her. And the I started feeling weird. “Am I even supposed to be going to this?”
Of course, once I saw B and talked with her, I heard and saw in her eyes how much she did want as many people as possible to be there. Once I knew it was important to her, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. I would literally walk through fire for her if she needed it, so of course I can come to a party.
I guess this just speaks to a couple of things. For one, I’ve realized how important it is to get out an extremely clear message when you’re putting events together. (Even some people who got invitations in the mail weren’t aware it was a retirement party, ’cause the invite was to celebrate 40 years of high school theater.)
I guess this is why so many people use video online. Videos, I suppose, help make a little clearer message where emotions come across, and the correct people can be in them.
Also, this was a great reminder how important it is to clarify things. I could’ve easily picked up the phone and said, “Hey, is this a party you’re wanting, or one being thrown for you that you’re dealing with?” I don’t know why I didn’t. It’s all just a blur – a weird, crazy, fast blur.
But I guess the moral of the story for me is unless there is some incredible, explicit reason not to do something, just go to the party! Don’t shy away from things, don’t miss out on opportunities, don’t feel awkward and question if you’re really supposed to be going to something, or if you’re positive you want to see every person in the room. If you have genuine questions about something, sure, ask them. But then go to the party. (Live your life, baby.)