My Teeth Are Pretty And Fake

September 18, 2013

Thought this was a pretty good teeth photo.
Thought this was a pretty good teeth photo.

While we’re kind of talking about appearance and such, I thought this would be an appropriate post.

I get complimented on my teeth all the time. I love getting compliments on my teeth, though really they have mainly nothing to do with me.

I believe in cosmetic procedures. I think it’s more than fine to have them. But I also think it’d be nice if we were open about the things we got done, and where we got them done. After all, doctors are the difference between something looking okay and something looking great.

I will never hide from the fact that my top front six teeth are fake. They are veneers.

My teeth as a kid were wildly messed up. In fact, wildly doesn’t even begin to describe it.

One of my front teeth got chipped, died, and was completely yellow. The other one went behind my bottom teeth. One of my bottom teeth came in practically sideways. One of my bottom teeth never came in at all.

I had braces as a child, and they got my teeth pretty straight. (My teeth were way straighter than they’d started. However, they were still more crooked than an actually straight smile. Why we didn’t worry about that as a kid, I have no idea. Maybe that’s the best they could do back then. Or at least, I’m sure we thought it was.)

Since all my teeth are showing in the big smile in this photo, you can see the one on the bottom that's slightly off...
Since all my teeth are showing in the big smile in this photo, you can see the one on the bottom that’s slightly off…

Once I graduated high school, I went on this small beauty kick. I got invisalign to get my teeth from pretty straight very straight. I probably shouldn’t point this out… but I have one tooth in my front four on the bottom that is ever so slightly off. It’s the one that used to be completely sideways. It’s now just millimeters off. But if you look, you can see.

My dentist told me it can’t be fixed with invisalign. I’d have to get real braces again if I want that one fixed. He said he’d do it if I wanted. But he actually advised against me spending thousands of dollars to move one tooth a couple of millimeters.

(Not that I, at all in any way, was ready (or even acting like I was ready) to spend the thousands of dollars now or in the near future (in case you were wondering)… I have too many things I want to do what cost money. But, you know, just putting it on the maybe list in case I ever become wildly rich.)

When arguably the best cosmetic dentist in all of image-obsessed Los Angeles (and Beverly Hills, specifically) tells you that your teeth are fine and you don’t need the extra work, that’s a pretty good sign that you really probably don’t need the extra work. (But there still is an imperfection there… So, I dunno.)

Anyway, after my invisalign, I got veneers. I flew to Los Angeles during a school break (which also happened to be a slow work time) so I could go to the person I perceived to be the best dentist in the country. And as far as I’m concerned, he is.

Doctor Dorfman is fabulous. He only practices part time now. Get him while you still can!

If you don’t know how veneers work, they shave your real teeth down into triangle nubs, then they put the new fake teeth on. Dr. Dorfman even has a book in which you can see all the various shapes of teeth and pick the kind you want.

I went with ovals. Some people mix and match shapes. If you browse through the book at his office, you’ll see what the shapes are and how they work together.

I know the sun/shadows are giving me some help there. But look at those babies! (No filer or any edits of course since I'm specifically talking about the whiteness of my teeth).
I know the sun/shadows are giving me some help there. But look at those babies! (No filer or any edits of course since I’m specifically talking about the whiteness of my teeth).

I also got my teeth whitened. (That happens before the veneers so they can match the color.)

I picked a shade that’s whiter than human teeth would ever naturally be without whitening product – but they’re only slightly whiter than the natural possibility. There was a whole ‘nother shade above mine.

I wanted to ask Janet Jackson what shade she has. Unfortunately, we’re not best buds (in that I don’t know her at all). So I couldn’t call her up for whitening advice – though I think the color choice was great (and helpfully suggested by the person who whitened my teeth).

In addition to the whitening and veneers, I had a mild little gum surgery to make my smile appear less gummy.

It was a bit painful, but unbelievably worth anything. A smile is so much. Image is huge. First impressions are huge, and lots of people judge someone by a smile. Can you imagine if all my photos in this blog and elsewhere showed my old mangled bramble bush mouth?

So there you have it. I so appreciate everyone who’s ever complimented my teeth. Incredibly sweet of you. But just know, my teeth are nice because they’re super fake.

2 thoughts on “My Teeth Are Pretty And Fake”

  1. Hey just wondering. I came up with your article because of looking up natal teeth, my son was born with two bottom ones. I read online he might or might not grow in permenant teeth there. With the one bottom tooth that never grew, what did you end up getting?
    loved your article

    1. Thank you so much for the compliment, Dani! And for reading and commenting. Really appreciate it. 🙂

      I don’t know what it’ll be like for him, but for me, I have an implanted tooth where an adult one didn’t grow in. So, there’s some kind of rod in my gum and a fake took around that.

      Have an awesome day!

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