I am so torn on how I feel about this.
Have you heard of this woman’s blog?
Basically, the idea is that she made her boyfriend this great sandwich. He said, “You’re like 300 sandwiches away from getting me to propose.” She took that as a challenge and is now making him 300 different sandwiches.
Now, on the one hand, I’m thinking, “Seriously?” This whole “make me a sandwich” idea (which is literally the first sentence in her introduction on her website), is pretty gross feeling. It is probably the most crystalizing statement of sexism and where wrong men think women belong. Blegh.
I would find this idea a million times better/sweeter if it were a man’s blog, and he were making a sandwich for his girlfriend everyday.
However, just because we absolutely shouldn’t be defined by gender roles doesn’t mean we’re not allowed to like those gender assigned things. Some women like cooking. And that needs to be allowed. Maybe she absolutely loves making sandwiches for him.
Just because she shouldn’t be forced to be in the kitchen doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be allowed to be in the kitchen.
And I think it’s always great when anyone (whether male or female) does lovely, kind, thoughtful things for their significant others (or really any humans in general). And for that, I applaud her for this sort of adorable project.
Another thing that makes me feel sort of iffy about this whole thing is that on the blog it says they were dating “over a year” when they started thinking about this. Personally, I think the main view of marriage in our society is a little off. I couldn’t even begin to imagine marrying someone until being with them for at least 10 years. Though I think 5 is probably appropriate in many circumstances.
1, though? My gosh. What all do you really know about anyone in just 1 year? That just seems like such a teeny, tiny, minuscule amount of time in relation to how much time we have on this crazy spinning blue rock.
Let’s just go ahead and let that part go since it has nothing to do with gender roles which is the main reason why I’m bringing this up.
In the end, I think the real point is she’s very smart. She’s marketing herself really well. She’s getting her story out everywhere (everywhere!). She was on The Today Show for goodness sakes.
She’s marketing herself wonderfully. I think she’s doing this to get more writing assignments. She’s a freelance writer, and having a popular blog is gonna help her out.
Then comes my real question, which is why are we paying so much attention to a woman making sandwiches for her boyfriend under the idea that he’ll propose at the end of the sandwich-making?
She seems absolutely lovely. So, nothing against her at all. I know that not everything we read can be wildly important. Some of it has to be fluff… But it’d be so much more interesting to read some kindness project.
Maybe 300 sandwiches for 300 strangers, or 300 days of serving in a soup kitchen. Or even 300 sandwiches for your significant other, sure…. But something about the whole doing it to get a proposal thing. Eh, I get that it’s the hook and it’s nice there’s a goal/end game. But it feels a little wonky to me.
To each their own though, and humongous props to this woman for marketing herself like crazy. I think she’s being brilliant and that this will help her career. So, high five to Stephanie. Do your thing.