That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 38 (Rejection – Part 4 (Support System & What I Learned)

October 15, 2014

Picking up from last time –

The final thing the nurse explained to me was of course the thing we all knew, based on my story, was going to totally bite me in the butt.

The psych team thought I didn’t have enough support to take care of me and such after surgery. What’s funny is I could’ve easily given them phone numbers of at least 10 people who would’ve checked in on me. I had multiple people willing to let me stay with them, even.

It’s just annoying that basically because of some misunderstandings, they just decided to think what they wanted to think instead of clearing up anything. I stand by the fact that I still think it was a totally reasonable question to ask why someone needs to be there during surgery.

I’m telling you, if it’s just someone there just to be there, I’ll ask a friend who doesn’t work that day. If it’s my medical power of attorney, I gotta ask my dad to take off work. The person is different based on the purpose, and I just feel it was a question I should’ve been allowed to ask – even if it’s the very question that made them feel they needed to reject me for “lack of support.”

If you want to know officially what the follow-up rejection letter in the mail said: “the Patient Selection Committee does not feel that kidney donation is suitable for you at this time, due to: your psycho-social status financially or emotionally related to non-directed kidney donation in a state far away from your permanent residence.”

The funniest part about that is that the people who matter very most in my world and who literally would walk through fire for me if necessary… they live in Ohio. So, it’s just interesting to me that in trying to turn me away so I can go to my permanent residence and get all that amazing support they’re talking about, they’re actually just turning me away from all that amazing support…

(I will say this might be better for me because I won’t feel smothered… But while I might personally like it better to be away from my “strongest support system,” the psych team is still kind of accomplishing the opposite of their goal.)

I calmly explained a lot of what I told you (trying to prove all these points invalid) to the nurse. She said, “I had the feeling that you were just being your usual, quirky, outgoing self.”

So, let it just be known that I was not the only one who thought I was just being (pretty fun, if I do say so myself) me. Someone else thought it. So it can’t completely live only in my own perception and nowhere else.

She said central Ohio is not as cosmopolitan as L.A., and she encouraged me to try again out here.

I know that medical stuff isn’t a bed of wild roses all the time.

I know I’ve said this before – and I’m sorry to repeat myself – But honestly, I was just so flabbergasted by such an incredibly stark difference between the way the social worker treated me at Mass General (making me feel like a very heard person whose thoughts/feelings/opinions matters) and the way the social worker/psychiatrist treated me in Ohio (making me feel like I had to fit into their box and if I had any questions or opinions, I was the absolute worst), that I just can’t get over it…

Let’s talk a little more tomorrow about some people who should be mad. (I’m thinking basically everybody, but I have some specifics in mind.)

I'd love to hear from you! So whaddya say?