2014 Year In Review – Part 2 (Am I Changing?)

January 1, 2015

Aurora pouring paint at a charity event
(just a random photo from 2014)

Picking up from last time

After reflecting, I think part of my general kind of malaise or disappointment with what I’ve been up to is that there are times when I feel like I’m doing the whole one step forward two steps back thing.

I felt like I was in such a good position monetarily after Price is Right…. But then, I made decisions that weren’t always awesome. For instance, I wasn’t the smartest about the jobs I took in the second half of this year (for instance taking one that hasn’t yet pay me thousands of dollars I’m owed).

(Sorry, loyal readers who’ve heard that upset sentence more than once. And in case you’re wondering, yes, of course we’re figuring out how to get that money…) After TPiR, I felt like I thought, “Yes! I’m debt-free forever!” All too quickly that changed to, “aaaaand now I’m using credit cards again!” (agh!))

I also felt for instance that I did a pretty nice job cleaning out my room last year in my “year of responsibility.” However, I’ve accumulated some stuff during the year, and I’m starting to feel not as organized/clean/streamlined as I did last year.

And this stuff is still at a stage where it’s reversible, which is good. (I guess things are technically almost always reversible… But this stuff is reversible in a pretty possible way.) Still, it drives me nuts to go forward and back. Does that ever happen to you?

On the bright side, there are some things where I think I’ve moved a lot more forward than I have back…

I said in my last post I had some questions… Looking back on the year/and the years since I’ve been blogging, I’ve wondered things such as, am I ever really changing? Or am I one of those people who always talks about changing, but then never actually does?

Aurora holding the Mensa Magazine she appears in
…made the Mensa magazine this year

Or – am I changing, but change is a slow process, so perhaps I need to be more patient? After all, the girl who started this blog couldn’t have run a marathon, let alone an ultramarathon with obstacles. The girl who started this blog hadn’t done much community service to speak of for probably three or so years.

The girl who started this blog had only just become an assistant editor – she hadn’t done field producing, or made webisodes for a major TV network. (I’m aware that’s just day job stuff and shouldn’t carry too terribly much weight, but still…)

The girl who started this blog had kept having false starts with continuing education – signing up for a class, but withdrawing or saying she was going to sign up and then not… But she actually completed a tough college class (and got an A!) this year. (Yeah, it’s just one class, but it’s a step in the right direction…)

So, I guess if I really think about it, I see some positive changes. I think it’s obvious that I need to do more and better changes… But I do think I see some good changes…

Is it just me, or is change a wildly slow process (or at least one that feels that way)? Did any of you do year in reviews? And how did they make you feel?

I'd love to hear from you! So whaddya say?