(Missed any part? Here’s the whole series.)
Picking up from last time –
I was worried I might be sort of obnoxious – because someone else who got zonked (and missed out on an even sweeter prize) said, “Well, at least we got to be on TV.”
And I’m pretty sure my eyes gave her this look of, “Are you kidding me?! Who cares? You can be on TV anytime you want! Go join Central Casting. Or come be in a scene on Living with the Jacksons. I have taken people off the street before when we’re desperate!”
(I know you can’t necessarily speak on TV anytime, so it is different to be a contestant on a game show than to be in the background somewhere…)
But still, I was totally in a mood – a pretty jerky mood, a mood of dealing with my failure as it continued to hit me more and more as I sat there, a mood of “Who cares if we’re on TV?! We’re wasting a year and a half of our game show eligibility on a zonk! Yeah, it’s a funny story to be able to tell [although now telling it, I’m not doing it in a very funny way!]. But is the potential story that funny – worth losing a year and a half of your game show eligibility?”
Of course who’s to say we would’ve gotten on another show within that year and a half anyway?
I don’t know if new things will be starting up, or if old favorites will be casting wide nets, or what will happen. (And goodness knows I’ve tried out for things I didn’t get. So, the year and a half may very well mean nothing at all.)
Plus, it’s exceptionally fun to be on a game show (no matter what you win or don’t win)!
While I do think there are strategies on what shows to try to get on when (and while winning a lot is obviously preferable to winning practically nothing), I also think I need to show more gratitude for the fact that I even got to play. Some people have never even been to Los Angeles, let alone on a game show! I do recognize that and my general good fortune.
Also, let’s forget for a second about game show eligibility! I think the really upsetting thing is just knowing I lost. I hate losing. It’s the worst! Going into it, I was all, “I’ll have such a great attitude if I get zonked, ’cause it’ll be so cute and funny.” And coming out of it, I’m all, [*wailing to the heavens*] “I’m a loser. A loooooser!
As I said, I was just in a mood. And in my mood, after she said, “At least we got to be on TV,” I blurted out something like, “I won a car on The Price is Right.” Then I tried to cover it as best I could, trying to act like I didn’t blurt it out thinking “pssh I’ve already been on a show where I did a much better job” like a lame little braggart.
Instead, I grasped at straws and said, “So, I guess this is my turn to get zonked, as you can’t win on every show.” But in trying to save myself from looking obnoxious, I just looked more obnoxious! This was getting really preposterous. Eeesh.
I like to believe I’m not a jerk, but maybe the best way to tell if I’m a jerk is to see me lose at something competitive – and maybe the truth is that I am a jerk! It’s certainly starting to seem that way, huh?
Thankfully, it didn’t matter if I was feeling wildly obnoxious because instead of people reacting with a bunch of anger, people started asking me questions about The Price is Right – when I got my prize, if I had to pay taxes, all that jazz.
Thank goodness for people’s curiosity (and maybe even their patience).
And this is where I’ll pick up next time.