Picking up from last time –
I spent so many nights writing songs, re-writing songs, re-re-writing songs, throwing stuff away, un-throwing it away. It was crazy. Everything became a song possibility to me. Even when I was preeeeetty sure I’d picked out my songs, my computer froze while printing them. And I thought, “Maybe this should be the song! Maybe I should write about this!”
Every. thing. that happened was a song possibility.
I started to think that maybe this was really how I should be living my life – re-working material all the time, seeing possibilities for songs everywhere, holding myself to a standard so high it’s as if my life depends on it (since that’s how I treated this audition).
Other parts of my life suffered. My social media presence became practically non-existent. I had to remind myself to post things (even though there wasn’t much to post) so that hopefully my klout score doesn’t completely disappear.
Even my exercise regimen suffered a little – not a ton ‘cause I can workout and think. But sometimes I’d get stuck at the computer for too long, or I’d sleep in (from being stuck at the computer for so long). I’m sure I could continue to fold more exercise in. But yeah, for the short time being, life was a little wonky.
Because writing so much made my life feel a little off, it showed me that I’m not writing enough in my day-to-day life.
One thing that was nice was that when I would have some little adventure (such as the Escape Room and the night that followed), it seemed so much sweeter. ‘Cause it would feel like a break (kind of an earned break). It wasn’t like my whole life’s a break (which is something my friends and I like to say to make fun of me sometimes).
And this is where I’ll pick up next time.