Picking up from yesterday –
The day before I left, I went to Target to get paper clips for my packets. In the office supply aisle, I saw paper clips shaped like squares with a design in the middle. And I debated in my head for minutes whether square paperclips were cool or lame (as far as the panel was concerned).
I then debated between the two colors of the paperclips… Red/pink might kind of match my dress. And it’ll be an upbeat excited color. Purple might show a royalty-ish feeling, like I’m regal (or talented?), good? elevated above the competition? I dunno…
I did this until I burst out laughing at myself so hard that I laughed until I cried a little. And I think everyone in Target may have thought I was crazy. And I didn’t care.
I got the square paper clips, ‘cause I like cool, different, unique things. Also, they were made by Yoobi which gives supplies to a classroom in the US that needs them, every time supplies are bought.
I packed up, making sure to take my favorite dress. I wanted to try to do the weekend with just a bookbag. When I realized I needed to bring audition shoes, I opted for a duffel bag. (That’s a small detail that doesn’t have much to do with anything else. I just remember feeling slightly thwarted by my luggage needs. But it’s an awesome duffel bag. So, whatever. I’ll just have a lot of stuff. It all worked out.)
When I got in an uber super early in the morning (around 3:45am) to go to LAX, the trip really started to become real. I got a little shaky tummy feeling. It is happening, Aurora. It’s happening! But then I told myself, “Settle down. You’re just in the uber. It’s not happening for a while. You’re not allowed to be this nervous yet.”
One thing my friends and I talked about was that I had to remember this isn’t the be all, end all. If I get the workshop, it’s awesome. But there are people who don’t go through the workshop who do amazing things. (And there are people who do the workshop who are never heard from.)
Did Lin Manuel Miranda go through the BMI Lehman Engel Musical Theater Workshop? No, he did not. And he’s living a dream career on Broadway. (These are the things I tell myself to try to chill out about the audition. True things, though!)
Speaking of friends, I really liked that this was a great reminder of how much I really love my friends – and how much, even if you live in different states and don’t get to talk all the time (and maybe sometimes you feel a bit alone), when push comes to shove you’d walk through fire for each other.
Friends read and listened to tons of stuff and showed so much patience as I decided and re-decided. Heck, my high school theater/mentor came with me to New York! It doesn’t get better than that. That’s someone really caring about you. And I was so thankful.
I had a layover in Denver (which I think is my favorite airport). The flight to LGA was full, but I was able to get on one not much later to EWR.
And we’ll pick up next time – in New York! (or technically New Jersey).