(#19) My Okay Second BMI Assignment (November 2, 2015)

Friday, November 6th, 2015

(I’m gonna go back and fill in the other performance thing soon. But while we’re on BMI, let’s talk about this one too.)

Oh my goodness, I felt so bad about this one! My poor partner.

I had been feeling super overwhelmed with moving and with my new job and everything. I was legitimately working long days… But, you can always make time for something if you really want to. And I did not really make time for him.

My first collaboration was the first time I’d ever collaborated. So, I kind of assumed that was how they were all going to go – us just going in circles until it was time to perform. And I kind of thought, “What is the point of putting all this time in if we’re gonna change the whole entire song and concept (not tweaks and stuff, but like legitimate new starts) every time?”

In my way too frazzled and overwhelmed state, I was like, “I do not have time for that.” And I sort of boxed out my partner and kept putting off and off our meeting until two days before our song was due. (I know. I’m terrible.)

I also kept putting off reading the play. It was like the last thing I wanted to do. (I think I just was too busy wanting to crawl into a hole and die.) That would make me put off our meeting even more, ’cause it was like, “What can I talk to him about? I haven’t even read the play.”

Aye aye aye.

I felt especially terrible when I finally did meet with him. he showed me he’d written an entire song just in case I didn’t come through. I’d made him so anxious. It was awful.

It was also awful because he was a total joy to work with – so easy and collaborative… And had he had more time, he could’ve done even more with the accompaniment (even though he already did a great job).

So, even though I didn’t really mean to (and somehow I legitimately thought I was giving us enough time), I kind of screwed him. [*shakes head at self*]

We did write an entirely new song (apart from the one he’d written). And it was fine. I’d say I went from a F in the first assignment to like a B- ish in the next one (maybe a C+). So, moving up…

Another thing that really sucks is that we have to pick partners for second year and if I alienate great people like this guy, I might end up in trouble. *dum dum duuuum* [scary chords] But, we’ll see!

Edited to add: Yet again, I’ve realized I’ve talked all about the process and not about the performance itself – which is what this part is supposed to focus on.

Unfortunately, the performance wasn’t fantastic. I had a terrible cold and cracked on one of the notes… like really, really cracked pretty badly.

But I lived to see another day… (though no one asked me to perform a song again). *Deep sigh*

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