In my last post on this subject, I half made the argument that LA should still be allowed to be called my home.
(For reasons somewhat beyond me, I still missed it and felt a pretty big connection with it…)
But I’m starting to realize it’s maybe not smart to still be calling it home and feeling like I can run there any time I good and well feel like it.
If I want to make a real, real life in New York, then I need to do that.
I almost went home (to LA) last weekend… (It was basically my first chance to go back since the holiday break – a mere 3 or so weeks earlier(!).)
I was convinced to stay in New York for the weekend. And while that was very fun (and normal, since I freaking live there!), I still got some texts from some friends in LA and thought about how I half wished I were there.
(And I do realize attitude is possibly 90% of life. So, I gotta stop FOMO-ing or what have you if I wanna be super happy here.)
I go to LA all the time. I’ve been on more free weekends than not.
And all I’m doing is making it harder on myself.
And I’m missing out on stuff out here! If I actually want to connect with people… There’ve been way too many instances of “hey, let’s finally grab that drink Saturday.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m in LA.”
Do I want to make a network here, or not? Do I want to do cool events here and get involved and entrenched in the city, or not?
When I started this post, I had this plan that it was gonna be a great post and that I was maybe going to figure something out, or make a grand statement that I’d stop going back so much…
But I don’t necessarily think any of those things are true… Well… I think I am starting to go back not quite as much. There are still plans for some… But I’m making some less….
I’m just – I’m going back a lot. And it’s making it harder to settle in here… And as it says in the title, I don’t think I’m doing myself any favors calling it home or going back so much.
I don’t know. We’ll see…