My Downfall At BMI – Part 7 (Time/Space Between 1st and 2nd Assignment)

Monday, February 8th, 2016

Picking up from last time.

Okay, so I’d had a horrific first song. And I told you about the awful second situation (admittedly most definitely my fault that time). Here’s the space between the two.

When that first song was over, I quickly re-took my seat.

At the mid-class break, I buried my face in my phone. I did not want to talk to anyone. A couple of people tried to talk to me, and even though I hate to admit it, I kind of blew them off. [*surprised/embarrassed/in denial-ish face*]

I acknowledged their presence and everything, but tried to act like I just had to be on my phone. Soooooo much important stuff going on in this fake email I brought up to compose, ’cause you know… Obligations and such. So busy.

Yeah, I realize I’m coming across as a jerk as I tell this story. I guess I kinda was… or am, maybe? Sigh. [*Sad/embarrassed face* – lots of embarrassment. Always. Here at BMI.]

That’s an awkward situation though, right? Where you just want to desperately be alone, but you’re in a room full of people.

I feel like that’s a situation I haven’t experience a lot. If you have a bad audition, when you’re done, you’re done, and you’re out the door for smoothies. You don’t have to make small talk with everybody else…

What do I even do? Just talk to people and get over the fact that I don’t want to right this second?

I mean, I guess after saying it out loud, yeah, that’s exactly what I do. Woman up and by the beautiful Equity actress you are, Aurora 😉

But I don’t. And that may still seem lame, but at least it is slightly better than third grade Aurora! (I mean, I know that’s kinda the least you can expect from an adult… Anyway…)

When I got a silver instead of gold in the math pentathlon (still one of my biggest failures to date!), I ran to a bench somewhere in a forgotten hallway of the school and hid under it for an hour… My dad was preeeetty mad. (But so was I! (At myself, not my dad.)

I wanted to leave this time. But no. I may have used a little technology rudeness, but I stayed.

I can’t just perform my song and then leave before everyone else’s. I mean, I can do anything. But I shouldn’t and I don’t.

Thankfully, class starts up again, and the *moment* it is over, I leave.

I didn’t realize how much noise those big double doors make when you push them open. I wasn’t trying to make a grand exit – I was trying to make a quiet one… the quietest one, in fact. But, just fyi, the doors are loud when they open.

After class, I went to Planet Smoothie to drown my sorrows because I live in NY and there’s a planet smoothie on the way back from BMI! 🙂

I also go see a late musical in some random little place with a friend of mine visiting from Los Angeles. It was *so* nice to have her here.

Then, as I mentioned, the following weekend, I was gone for my big goodbye weekend in Los Angeles.

When the next Monday came (the day I’d perform my second assignment), and we’d actually somehow written it and all that jazz…

Well, this is where we’ll pick up next time.

I'd love to hear from you! So whaddya say?