Picking up from last time –
My brilliant composer had a brilliant idea. And basically I just filled it in with lyrics.
Her idea was “We’re Closed But We’re Open” at the point in the movie where they close for the day, but the business stays open – because they made it to the end of the day.
One of the moderators said it was the perfect hook for that moment… because it was. This girl is a genius.
So, the song went fine. It was catchy as all get out. (She is a star!)
It’s hard to really feel like it’s your song when she did all the heavy lifting. But I truly loved all the absolute non-argument ever stuff. That was soooo nice.
The song was a fun diddy where you didn’t have to have super range or do any incredible acting. So, I don’t think anything turned around for me in that department.
In fact, when my composer asked me (multiple times) who I wanted to sing in our song for the re-write, I was like, “I don’t care. As long as I sing.”
She said, “Cousin Tilly [the only girl part] has all the harmonies.” I was like, “Cool, sounds fun!”
At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. I just thought, “Cool, I get to sing the harmonies.” But now that I’m way more sensitive to not being a performer in the class and how people view me (and others around me), I wonder if she asked me so many times who’s singing, because she wanted to suggest some other girl sing… I may be being too sensitive…
Anyway, after that song, I did indeed go to the bar for the first time in 7 weeks. I sat with some very welcoming people who were like, “What? You thought you weren’t talented enough just to come get drinks with us? Come on! You’re always welcome here.” I did feel welcomed and it was lovely…
I still didn’t feel like a 180 had been completed (obviously) after only one song and only one night. But still. A little something.
The next week I didn’t go to the bar again, more than anything just because I was exhausted. I was working crazy hours. I still hadn’t completely unpacked. I just needed a night.
And it was fine to take it, I think… I guess… The following week I went to class (as we’d expect) and this is where we’ll pick up next time.