My Trajectory At My Job – Part 3 (To Think I Almost Thought I Might Not Be The Right Fit)

Sunday, March 27th, 2016

Picking up from last time –

In this new role, I finally feel like I’m in the exact place I’m supposed to be. It’s like there’s this puzzle of my life. And my job was one of the puzzle pieces. And I’m moving it all around the puzzle, trying to make it fit.

And the more it won’t fit, the more frustrating it is. Because I’m in New York in the Jon Stewart family! I know this is most definitely supposed to fit (right?!). This piece came in the box labeled “Aurora’s life.” It is 100% supposed to be in the puzzle.

And then finally when I started editing headlines, ploof. It dropped right in. I just love doing it. I love doing it so much.

And it’s crazy to think there was a small moment in time where I actually questioned for a quarter of a second – is this the right puzzle piece?

There was a moment right when my whole “I don’t fit in” thing really was kind of coming to a head, when a job on a sitcom(!) opened up in LA – with my name on it.

In that moment, there was a .001% part of me that thought, “You could go work on that sitcom with your friend, and live in LA where you’re comfortable (ish? …even though I really did, and do, want to live in NY… even if it can be tough-ish).”

Anyway, we all know I wouldn’t have done that. You don’t just leave the Jon Stewart family, like a crazy person, after years of fighting to get in!)

But from where I am now, even remembering that .001% of me… it just feels crazy.

I’ve never been happier that I stuck something through.

I feel like I can convince myself of a lot of things if I kind of lawyer-logic myself hard enough (fighting for whatever side I want). And I could’ve probably convinced myself that maybe this wasn’t the right fit for me and I needed to “cut my losses” (which would’ve been crazy, mind you).

We could talk about why not fitting in could equal needing to “cut losses,” and whether I felt I could make a future there if I wasn’t fitting in, and blah blah blah. I could see arguments being made on either side… But I made a future there indeed. I 100% feel like part of the family. And I’m just really, really, super, grossly happy, is the point.

And it’s just interesting to me how things change. I do understand there are sometimes where you do need to cut your losses. But in this situation, it was good to give it time and see what happens.

(And that is perhaps something I need to learn in life – to have slightly more patience…maybe slightly. Though, I still don’t know the magic line of where you know what’s worth sticking through and what’s not… There’s deeefinitely a scenario in which this job didn’t pan out as well. But since it did, of course now it’s all, “That was worth it!” But not every situation is… Ah, time and what’s worth it. I don’t know the secret to knowing that… But staying here is one of the best thing that’s ever happened to me.).

And I’m just ridiculously happy that I get to see it from this point of view – from the other side – now.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

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