Picking up from yesterday –
Here’s the low down that I took my gorgeous talks with the council of Aurora.
The first con that was listed isn’t even a thing on the radar. My boss believes I’ll be good. I believe I’ll be good. And in the worst case scenario, I won’t be able to keep up, I’ll lose my job, and I’ll just figure it out.
It would be terrible – especially after already having such a huge transition, to have another one. But things have been way worse for people before. It’s survivable.
As far as BMI vs. Nightly Show…
The real idea was to take it as it comes. We don’t even know for sure if we’ll get renewed. (Fingers obviously crossed though.) I might not have a job next year, and then I can do BMI all I want.
Also, with BMI, I’ve heard of people getting to postpone year two if something comes up. So, if I can’t fit it in as an editor, I can ask for an extension.
Anything could happen in the future. But there are so many variables, that it seemed silly to let such an exceptional opportunity pass me by.
As I mentioned in my other post, BMI is basically school. It’s awesome. It’s prestigious. It can be very important to your career. But it is one huge maybe. And the Nightly Show gig was so super real. It was something that would absolutely help my career in the very immediate future.
And here’s the big clincher –
Even with all of that, I *still* thought long and hard about what I wanted to do. BMI has been very important to me for a long time. I applied for 6 years, after all. It’s pretty much the reason I got this job in the first place – so I could move to NY and do BMI.
But the thing is, it wasn’t going well in any way.
And… not to share *too* much information, and hopefully it doesn’t sound like I’m throwing anyone under the bus here… but I’d basically 100% made my decision and that Sunday night or Monday morning, I got an email from my composer on my assignment…
It’s kind of a long story (that I could 100% tell you over Denny’s). The part I’ll say here is that I won’t argue that his email in general was unjustified. But I will say that in it, I saw that I really felt like I was not seen as a “real” musician or as a performer in many people’s eyes. And with the way that email was worded, and the way our song was going, I knew.
I mean, I already knew. But that was a perfect final nail.
I had to be in early to do something at work. And as soon as that was done, I headed to the gym and worked out and cried for an hour. I just tried to get it all out (both with the workout, and with the crying.)
It was just soooooo many emotions all at once. It was the relief of believing I probably wouldn’t be able to do second year with this class – needing to postpone and getting a break, and maybe doing better later. It was the incredible huge excitement of being an editor! (A real grown-up, big time editor.) It was the intense heart-wrenching sadness of knowing there was a chance that I was giving up something I truly love and adore.
It was an avalanche of emotions that all came tumbling out.
So, I told my boss. And then I started doing more editing and training throughout February – until I got in the chair on Feb 22.
And I’ve never been happier.