Okay, well, I realize this is not a real problem, and I probably have no right to even be talking about it… because how is this legitimately a problem for anyone?
And I also realize it’s something I’ve been touching on, on and off, in this very blog for a while now.
But goodness, when I went out to LA this last hiatus week, I had the time of my life! It was *such* a lovely week – seeing friends, performing, taking a meeting, meeting new people, going to a theme park – the whole shebang.
And I was happy that I don’t feel like I lost anything being gone from LA for a bit.
However, I also still don’t feel like I’ve really settled into New York. So, therein lies the question – how do I live with a foot really planted in both coasts? Is that even possible?
Obviously I miss out on some LA stuff – though I feel like I’m doing pretty well. But I am not super often doing New York stuff.
…And I don’t really know the secret of what to do here.
The only other time I’ve ever truly moved away from a real home base was after high school. The day after I graduated, I had a party. And the day after that, I got on a bus and said, “So long, suckas! I ain’t never coming back!” And I went and worked in NY for the summer. Then I went to college in Boston. And I did not come back that whole first year of school.
I felt bad because my friends were in shows, but I loved my high school theater waaaaay too much. Even being far away, I still would answer calls about how to fix things with the light board! I was still involved. I was still credited in a program for all the phone calls I took about lights!
And I knew that if I went back, I would try to become super involved. I might get lost and keep coming back to Ohio for who knows how long!
So, I cut off Ohio oh so hard. I knew I could not go back for a single show. I had to survive a season without that program. And my teacher said she had to survive a season without me.
And we did. Of course we did. We’re strong women.
And that made it easier – being able to cut it all off so hard. (Plus it helped that I really wanted to leave.)
But this is different… I can’t totally just cut off LA. (Well, I can do anything. But it doesn’t seem smart.)
I built a real foundation out there, and to tear it down seems a little silly…
But how am I supposed to build one here, while focusing on the one out there? I can’t use my previous experience, ’cause I don’t think I want to cut everything off for a year.
*Deeeeep deep sigh*
I’m not New Yorking right. That much I know. The answers and actions I maybe don’t totally know. But I am not New Yorking right – as tomorrow’s post will tell.