I’ve been thinking a lot about BMI lately.
And I know it’s not good to dwell on things… unless you can actually learn from something or change something now. If you can change a situation to make your life better, then sure, pour over it. Figure it out.
If a situation went super incredibly poorly and there’s something you can learn from it, then sure, figure that out too.
But if a situation just went poorly and I pretty much, kinda, did the best I could with the information I had at the time, then can I just freaking let it go, or what?
Perhaps not, since I’m writing about it right now.
But after all this time to reflect… Here’s what I think… Maybe… I don’t know…
I think, for me, that ultimately, it was indeed important that I repeat first year. I think I did learn a lot about just kind of how to do BMI basically. And I *think* (I think!) I can have a much more successful (and happy) first year. (I hope.)
But.
I also quit when there were only 2(!) assignments left… All I had to do was the Death of a Salesman song and the 10-minute musical.
Granted, the 10-minute musical is a huge assignment. I’ll admit that.
But no matter how miserable I was, there were only two assignments left.
I had a nice place to live. I had a steady, gorgeous, beautiful job. Those things don’t just last forever in New York.
I was in a nice position to do first year.
So, while I had the ability, perhaps I should’ve just finished – still letting my professor person know I was struggling (and maybe needed a break after), but actually complete first year…
And then, when my job (and potentially my apartment) were all taken away, and after I had a little time away to try to work through things in my life… Well, I could’ve potentially soldiered forward, and maybe done 2nd year alone or something, or deferred completely for a year and picked up in second year a year later.
Those things might’ve been hard (and maybe wouldn’t have been possible). But I would’ve given myself so many more options had I just been able to stick out just 3 more months…
I have applied to BMI 3 times and am planning on applying again this year (as a composer). I desperately want to get in… BADLY. I know you didn’t have the best experience but you did get in (which is more than I can say). Any tips/advice?
Hey Jackson! Thank you so much for reading! I emailed you 🙂 (I know you know this because you’ve emailed me back hahaha. I just thought I should respond in public too. Thanks!)