This was a draft I had as I was deciding when to really delve into my sexual assault from this year… It’s become something I felt I needed to talk about. And I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking about how I will…
And then a presidential candidate said he grabbed women by the pussy.
So I just started in with a story from college. I no longer had time or mental space to think about “how do I really want to talk about it…” But I knew we needed to. So, I started. And now (as I’m sure I will continue to talk about), I figured I’d re-start the conversation about it a week later as I’d originally planned to… So, here’s uh, the beginning of the conversation while we’re in the middle of it [Original draft below]
It’s still affecting me. A lot. More than I would like to admit, even…
So, this is a warning. In this post, we’re gonna talk about assault. We’re gonna talk about sex. We’re gonna talk about boys. We’re gonna talk about some stuff here. So, if that is not something you want to read about, I so super respect that. And it means that this post is not for you. So, while I love and appreciate your readership, skip this one. Come back soon. And I can’t wait to see you again!
And while we’re talking about warnings and side notes and things… Can I just say that I love men? I think men are fantastic. I could write you a dissertation of the incredible, amazing men in my life.
Heck, I could write you a book about all the wonderful men that I’ve slept with, or gone on a date with over the years, and the wonderful things they have done. In fact, I can’t think of a single guy – not one (other than of course this assault guy) – with whom I still have any lingering anger or resentment… Not one whom I wouldn’t work with again, or be willing to chat with at a party, or catch up with over a lunch… Guys are great.
There are times in this post where I feel like I say things that are potentially a little mean about the guy who perpetrated this act… And I just want it to be so clear that those things are only about him and him alone.
This is also something really vulnerable and personal for me to share. Generally, for the most part, I try preeetty hard to steer away from sex and relationships on this blog. This blog is not about that. This blog is about a million other things. And that is not one of them… But today it is.
I HATE to admit that this has been probably the most defining thing in my life over the past however many months. But it has. And as much as I’ve tried to avoid talking about it here (for the most part)… I just feel I gotta dig into it. I have to try to somehow explain how it’s affecting me. I gotta organize all this floating stuff in my brain – both for me, and for you – the people reading about me…
I have so many things to say. Potentially too many.. So, I’m worried about how many posts I’m gonna do… And one of my dreams in life is that this does not become the “sexual assault” blog. That doesn’t sound fun… And I do not want to define myself as a victim of sexual assault…
But for right now… For now… This is what we’re gonna talk about.
And we’ll start tomorrow with some of the concerns I had when deciding to talk about this.
Thanks for coming on this journey with me. xoxo