Grey’s Anatomy is one of my favorite TV shows.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you may know that because I talk about it all the time.
Weirdly, you could tell – almost to the day (or at least the week) when I was sexually assaulted, just by looking at my Hulu queue. Because I could not watch.
The show I never miss. (Heck, even when I was moving across the country on a whim last year, and had no time, I watched Grey’s Anatomy during a half marathon because I could not miss it!)
And this year, episodes piled up in my queue – to the point where they expired, and I had to watch them on Netflix in the fall…
(Grey’s Anatomy is chock full o’ sex, btw, in case you’re unfamiliar.)
I know this seems silly to even be talking about… Missing out on a TV show? Watching something on Netflix rather than on Hulu? Who cares?
…But it’s not just Grey’s Anatomy.
Sex. is. everywhere.
Everywhere.
Try to watch a cute lil’ sitcom instead of a steamy drama? Oh so often, it’s still there. So, forget TV; just check twitter. Aaaaaaaand there are sex jokes everywhere – all the time – so many tweets. And we all know how much I love twitter. (I almost was gonna link you to posts talking about that, but goodness, that’d be like half the blog!)
So… All right then, stay away from my favorite social media app… I guess – I can at least go to snapchat, right? Just watch some fun snap stories from my friends?
Well don’t you dare accidentally click on Cosmo’s snap story! You know where this is going.
My goodness. When I was in Texas, I was visiting the state Capitol, and I mindlessly checked Cosmo’s snap story, and there was some sex thing on there. And I left the building, I was bawling so hard. I went and sat behind a statue outside, and I cried so unbelievably hard, I didn’t know how I was ever going to get up.
My whole world got so quiet.
I am not at all – in the slightest – insinuating that people shouldn’t make sex jokes or write about sex and all that. They should make whatever jokes they want, and write about whatever they want. I’m just saying that while I “knew” sex was everywhere – I didn’t know it was everywhere.
So, I know I’ve said this, but my world got quiet…. SO quiet. I’ve tried to explain it here, but don’t even know if I know how to fully, because it seemed like every piece of media or the internet hurt… Think about how often you have something on (while either in the foreground or background), and now, poof. It all goes away, because the whole way we get to hear stories has now become a minefield… It was just… (shhh) quiet.
And while I am starting to enjoy the noise again (I am all caught up on Grey’s right now) – it’s still too much sometimes… And I kinda hate that. It’s weird to live in a very, very (very) quiet world.
[This post is from the series on sexual assault.]