It is so hard to talk about sexual assault…
I mean, we’ve done it. We’re doing it…
But, just like any other thing you put on the internet, you open yourself up to some really mean comments. (And I understand that’s part of the internet… But sometimes with sexual assault, it seems more intense…)
And I hate even giving any attention to the people who say nasty or “trolling” comments, because I know it’s not even worth it to acknowledge them… And yet, I sort of think in this case it’s worth talking about, because I think this is a larger part of the conversation of people not believing women, and women being afraid to come forward.
There was someone who commented on my story about being grabbed on the subway who said, “You wanted it.”
That random commenter was willing to tell me I “wanted it” when it was a story about a complete stranger grabbing me (after I asked that stranger repeatedly to leave me alone).
I’d reported that incident to the transit police who literally had video (security footage) of me trying to stay away from this guy, and then getting grabbed when I didn’t see him, and then whipping my head around in anger – never flirting, never laughing, nothing – nothing that would give the idea that I liked it. And yet, someone still wrote me telling me I enjoyed it.
That’s what happens when you’re a woman who talks about being assaulted. It can be minimized. You can be blamed. And the more “complicated” the situation is, I think the harder it is to really see it clearly.
So, I just wish… I just wish everything were different…
I mean, obviously, I wish I’d never been assaulted. *Sigh*
But, it’s like, if we can’t get people to believe us when it’s SO cut and dry, and there is footage of it happening, then how are we ever going to be believed?
The world is weird. And I don’t know how to make things better… And if you have ideas, hit me up, ’cause I’m in!
[This is a post from the sexual assault series.]