As I said, I got to spend my birthday in Boston!
And it was *amazing* what being back was like… Some things had changed, of course – some businesses have switched out and such, but overall, it’s all the same. “Ah yes, there’s the Pru. And there’s that really pretty and calm reflecting pool and empty space area I used to sit by and write and such.
It felt like home (because it kind of it). It felt so comfortable to walk down Boylston and Mass Ave. (Ah yeah, these are my jams!)
It just felt good to be back.
I already knew that California was like a magical time machine, but I didn’t know how great Boston would feel too.
These places bring me back to a feeling of how I felt in the past…
And wouldn’t it just be so lovely indeed if the biggest boy problem I had was like, “he didn’t text me for 2 days and I don’t know what that means,” instead of like, “I’m having trouble feeling safe around people.” Of course it would!
Of course it’s nice to go back to these places before I’d met this dude – where I don’t have to worry about running into him, or people who love him, etc.
And when I go to them, I feel free and happy and it feels like years ago.
But here’s the thing. It’s not years ago. It’s 2017. And if I can feel happy and relaxed and safe in Los Angeles or in Boston, ostensibly, I should be able to feel that way in New York.
And I need to get in a new mindset that’s not about how I “just wanna go back,” “just wanna go home,” but how I just just wanna go forward.
I need to push my head a little so it’s not facing backward, and show it what’s in front of it – and I need to make that good!
[Disclaimer, I do still have posts to post throughout this hiatus that do talk about the past and things I’m sad I lost. So you will see some more from the “past,” but of course, as always, feel free not to read them if you don’t want!]