So, my new friend was taking me all around Belfast yesterday.
And we stopped off for a quick bite, and I got some nachos. I was gonna just eat them with salsa, but I learned that, to me, salsa in Ireland tastes like barbecue sauce. (Any other Americans out there feel the same, by chance? I wanna know if I’m crazy with that opinion.) So, I gave up on the salsa and went for the cheese.
And I had chips left when I ran out of cheese. So, I went to ask if I could have an extra container of cheese. And they would not give it. I offered to pay, of course, but they have a hard and fast rule, they do not sell a side of cheese by itself. So, then… a whole order of chips and cheese was only about 2 pounds. So, I was like, “okay, how about then I just order a whole complete order by itself. You guys can just keep the crisps part of it, because I don’t want anymore. And I’ll just take the cheese.”
“Oh, no. No. We can’t charge you 2 pounds for cheese!”
“…But you won’t let me buy it as a side?”
“Well, no, we don’t sell it by itself.”
“Okay, well, I’m just hungry still, and I have all these uneaten crisps and they’re very good. I don’t mind paying the 2 pounds, and just takings the cheese.”
“But if we give you the cheese by itself, our ratio of crisps to cheese will be off.”
…
Now, I don’t reeeeally wanna take more crisps, because that feels pretty wasteful… And they don’t seem to particularly want to sell me a second order anyway. So, I give up and return to my seat and Victoria and I laugh as I recount the story to her…
Then we talk it over and decide I’m gonna go back up the counter and buy and buy a complete other order – crisps and all, and we’ll take the leftovers home and her roommate or one of us can eat them later.
I kid you not, when I went back up there and ordered another order, they said “would you like extra cheese?”
I almost burst out laughing!
“I’m sorry… Um… what?”
“Do you want some extra cheese? It costs 50p.”
What kind of Seinfeld sketch am I living in here?
Apparently there was this rule that they could give you cheese when you order it – only they have to put it directly on the crisps.
I found that out because she offered to put it directly on, but I didn’t want the crisps to get soggy, as we were gonna be saving some for later. So, I asked, “could you put the cheese on the side?” “Oh, no, extra cheese has to go over top of them.”
…
“But what if you just put the same amount you would be using just on the side instead?”
“No, extra cheese must go on top.”
So I gave up on extra cheese, and practically cackled with laughter when I got back to the table.
[And one of the things that made this so bewildering and funny is that originally when I thought it was just chips and salsa, basically, I didn’t even realize cheese came with them. I asked for extra salsa and they gave me an extra side with no problem.]
In conclusion, that was such a very silly hilarious fun restaurant story. I just wanted to share it as a little piece of my trip from Ireland!