…So, I Have To Remember To Use Facebook Correctly

Rants, Thoughts, Year of Responsibility Monday, May 13, 2013 Leave a comment

Picking up from yesterday -

I used to be great at not using Facebook too often. Since I didn’t really like it, I always kept in mind what it was for, and used it accordingly.

But, somewhere in probably the past year, I started using it way too much.

I think a lot of it had to do with giving updates on my 52 half marathons project – though obviously I have a blog. So, I didn’t need to Facebook about it.

I also got a twitter and public Facebook later in the year. Those were way more helpful, and made way more sense.

Since my public profiles are still pretty new, I think I liked the idea that maybe some people would actually be liking stuff if I posted things on an established profile.

But, that was needy – and not in a fun, cute just-barely-needy-way, but in an I’m annoyed with myself because as much as I loved having support, I should’ve felt enough from close friends, blog followers, and people who follow my public accounts – without needing to go into icky Facebook land.

I’m getting on a tangent (not surprisingly to readers of this blog). I think that mixed with that job I had last year. I had a lot of time when I was just waiting for footage to transfer, with not much else to do.

I also just never seemed to really get it together. I so often felt way too tired, ’cause I never got used to getting up early. So, I supplemented that with lots of sugar and caffeine – which just made me more tired.

And Facebook is a great way to waste time to make the day go by without really having to concentrate hard or think – perfect for a tired person with time on her hands waiting for files to transfer (or just trying to stay awake on the bus ride home).

Facebook gator eating faceI know, I know. Excuses, excuses. I’m just trying to pinpoint a little how it all went wrong. So, I started using Facebook too often, for sure. A month ago, I stopped really using Facebook a lot. I make sure to actually sign in and out anytime I want to use it. Forget this whole “keep me logged in” thing. I want to make the conscious decision each time I go to the website – do I actually want to look at Facebook, or am I mindlessly looking at it? What am I avoiding right now?

I set it so that I don’t get so many email notifications. I do still get them if I get a new message. So, in the past month, I’ve mainly gone on just if I get an email telling me someone’s messaged me – so I can respond.

When I do go on, I don’t scroll through my newsfeed. I have actually seen a couple of things right at the top of the newsfeed (when I signed in) that I was happy I saw.

(A friend of mine started a web comic after talking about doing it for a while. So, I was really happy to see that. And actually, I randomly found out someone I hadn’t talked to in a bit was in Ohio when I was – and I probably wouldn’t have heard about that otherwise.)

So, you know, Facebook can give a little jolt of good or helpful news. I will admit that. But, I’m not missing out on too much by being, for the most part, pretty away from it.

I have felt so wonderful – definitely way happier – not checking Facebook every day, or even every other day. Whenever I’ve thought about mindlessly going on Facebook, I read something, or text a friend, or look for an interesting article or book online. I enrich my day so much more that way.

And to the other complaint I had yesterday – I’ve run out of space in this blog. So, I’ll get to it tomorrow.

…Facebook Can Be Used Poorly…

Rants, Thoughts, Year of Responsibility Sunday, May 12, 2013 Leave a comment

Picking up from yesterday -

So, Facebook is really for certain things. But, I realized that somewhere along the line, I started using it more for not great things.

For one thing, sometimes my self-worth got a bit wrapped up in Facebook – not totally, but a little. For instance, if a picture or event I thought was great only got a few likes, I would think, “Why don’t people like me?”

Of course, it’s not that they don’t like me. Maybe they’re not on the computer. Maybe I’m not on their newsfeed. Maybe they just don’t want to click like. Maybe a million different things. But it was almost as though an experience was only as good as the people on Facebook validated it to be.

I started being a little less present in my own life, and thinking kind of outside of my life. If something great would happen, sometimes instead of thinking how amazing it was, I’d think something along the lines of, “I bet a lot of people will ‘like’ this!”

Then if a lot of people didn’t like it, it would make me wonder – is the thing as cool as I thought it was? Well, guess what?! Everything in my own life is as cool or as uncool as I think it is. It’s my life and my experiences and I should enjoy them because I do – not because they impress anybody else. How could there be any tiny part of me that thinks some random internet group gets to decide what’s cool in my own life? That’s just silly.

I also allowed Facebook to kind of… I dunno, maybe hurt my feelings a bit. For instance, I had this friend who was always saying that we should hang out. But he was just “sooooo busy” that he couldn’t make time for me anytime in many months. But, we both went through a phase – maybe kind of around the holidays and even beginning of this year, where we were both almost living on Facebook. I’d see him on it all the time.

He’d be constantly liking and commenting on a million statuses. So, let me get this straight. You have time to watch 800 cat videos, but you don’t have time to have a simple coffee with me? Am I not more interesting than stupid internet crap?

The difference is - at least Darth Vader started out not on the dark side. (Not sure who to credit with this - just saw it floating around the internet.)

The difference is – at least Darth Vader started out not on the dark side.
(Not sure who to credit with this – just saw it floating around the internet.)

So, then I’d get a bit mad (or at least peeved) at him. But then I’d start to wonder – how can I possibly be mad at him?! This is insanely weird behavior to be able to see what so many of my friends are up to all the time. I shouldn’t be judging what they do with their time – ’cause I shouldn’t be watching! (Not that I’m watching more than anybody else is – it’s just odd that we have that ability.)

Also, I noticed some really bad behavior in myself. I started writing wall posts to my good friends. We have telephones! If I want to know what’s going on with an actual friend, why don’t I give a call – or at least a text? I mean, come on!

I’ve been going through a bunch of my old Facebook activity – trying to clean up my profile, get rid of some pictures – sort of generally streamline it all. (Thankfully, I’ve been pretty good since I’ve gotten it about usually deleting stuff once it’s been up for a while and has become a little obsolete. So, I never have too terribly much stuff to go though.)

(And yes, I know if I run for President someday, anything that had been posted at any time I’m sure will be able to be drudged up through some kind of internet craziness. So, I do my best to never put anything up that would cause a firestorm in the public eye – but I still like to clean out my Facebook timeline/photos/etc. every once in a while to clean it up a bit.)

Anyway, as I was going through the activity page to see things I’ve posted – I saw that when some of my former classmates were nominated for Tony Awards – that’s right nominated for freaking Tony awards – I wrote them congratulations on their Facebook walls!

What is wrong with me? If that is not a “send a card/flowers/whatever” type of moment, I don’t know what is!

And tomorrow, I will talk about fixing my Facebook behavior.

Facebook – A Somewhat Necessary Evil…

Rants, Thoughts, Year of Responsibility Saturday, May 11, 2013 Leave a comment
From jpegy.com

From jpegy.com

In keeping with some stuff we’ve been talking about this week – how much I care way too much about what everyone thinks and my “year of responsibility” – let’s go ahead and talk about how one component of being more responsible in my life is cutting down on my use of Facebook.

(The rest of this post and the upcoming one(s) related to it have to do with the use of my personal Facebook page (which as of now I still have, but hope to someday get rid of) – not my public Facebook page.)

I really dislike Facebook. That’s not to say there aren’t some good things about it. (If there was no good in it, I wouldn’t be on it anymore, would I?)

Most people I knew started getting Facebook around 2007-ish (some even before that). And I was so happy to not have it. Everyone kept telling me to jump on the bandwagon, and I blissfully ignored them.

Then, I had a college professor who nagged me about it for the majority of 2009, until I finally caved and got Facebook!

In his defense, he was right. As someone working in the entertainment industry and freelancing, it is important to be on Facebook. I have definitely gotten jobs through Facebook. Heck, I got possibly the best job I ever had through Facebook. (Room & board in Vegas paid for, for a month – with great coworkers (and a great salary).)

So, Facebook does some things that are good. It’s also helped me to reach out to some people who I wouldn’t know how to contact otherwise – people I maybe see in a small show or actor’s just starting in a small role on an episode of a TV show. When people are great, I really like to tell them they’re great. And I’ve connected with a couple of people through Facebook. So, that has been nice.

Facebook also has a darker side. How many arguments have you gotten into – or seen others get into – on statuses over opinions and such. Things get so amplified over the internet! I don’t know what it is, but it seems like if someone types something that can possibly be taken in any kind of wrong way, 5 people jump on him all at once, and there’s a virtual shouting match on someone’s status.

I think we probably need to tone it down a little. (And by “we,” I mean me as well.)

In my “year of responsibility,” I’ve been trying to clean out my emails, and messages on any other system as well, so that includes Facebook. While going through my Facebook messages, I’ve seen a few – some with people I didn’t even know that well – where we kind of argued. It was almost always over really stupid stuff, and materialized out of pretty much nothing.

I don’t know if there’s something about the written word that sounds so much meaner than spoken word, but Facebook can definitely get a pretty mean vibe rull quick.

Mean vibes aside, I think it’s important to remember the purpose of Facebook. Of course, this is just my opinion. But, as far as I’m concerned, Facebook is mainly for job opportunities – a nice place to post if you’re looking for help on a show so that people you’ve worked with before can let you know that they’re available. And it’s a great place for you to comment on other posts when you’re available.

That is really the main point of Facebook as far as I’m concerned. It’s also sort of to be able to take a peek at the lives of people with whom you’re not really totally friends anymore, but still like and might want to check in and just see that their life is going well.

(It’s actually also a pretty nice place to be able to post about your projects without flooding friends’ inboxes – and a no-pressure way to keep up with friends’ projects… Of course, sometimes people rely too much on this working. I’ve recently found out about 2 friends’ kickstarters through non-Facebook avenues, and they were both surprised I hadn’t seen them on FB after that blasts about them.)

It’s also actually an okay place to get to know some acquaintances who might prove to be cool people in your life, but the first time you met wouldn’t have been strong enough to keep up otherwise.

It’s also kind of helpful if you’re visiting town or something. It’s an easy, low-pressure way to reach out to people you knew there and see if they might want to hang out.

What it should not be used for is staying in touch with your great friends, or validating your own life. It also should not be used for kind of spying on people who maybe had a bit of a dramatic exit from your life (but you’re interested in punishing yourself by looking at what they’re up to).

I could talk about Facebook forever. I won’t talk about it forever, but I will talk about it more tomorrow.

A Rough Night on Twitter

Stories, Thoughts Friday, May 10, 2013 Leave a comment
Oh, what pic is it? The world will never know because I stupidly deleted it!

Oh, what pic is it? The world will never know because I stupidly deleted it!

Ugh. (To myself.)

For the record, I loooooove twitter. I love it.

And I care waaay too much about what other people think (and sometimes what’s going on in other people’s lives).

(Also, how is it possible that I’ve had twitter for many months, yet I’m still learning how to use it? How big is the learning curve on this application, y’all?)

So, this is really silly and shows that I care far, far too much about social media. But one of the (many millions of) things I was excited about when it came to meeting Cory Booker was the inevitable tweet with, “Great meeting you,” or “Great picture,” along with a tweet to our photo  (after, of course, I tweeted it to him).

From an outsider’s perspective, it seems like he tweets back every single person who tweets him a picture of them together. Of course, realistically, I’m sure he doesn’t.

But I tweeted about a million tweets the weekend I met him (actually, I probably tweeted too much. Big mistake there). That, or you know, timing is everything on twitter. And I never seemed to get the timing right. I couldn’t upload his speech until the week started. Then by that time, Jason Collins was the only thing on my twitter feed. Suddenly this amazing Cory Booker speech wasn’t something I could tweet out.

… I dunno. So, I never got the timing right.

Then I was so insecure in “Why is he tweeting everyone else about how great their photo is and how great it was meeting them – but not tweeting me? Was it not great meeting me? Are we not totally bffs? These are some of the best pictures of me from my entire life! How do these not classify as great pictures?!” (She needily whined in her head.)

Well, today on my way to work, Cory Booker was re-tweeting a bunch of corny jokes people sent him.

Mine didn’t get re-tweeted, but I still thought they were good. (A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender how much. The bartender says, “For you? No charge” (Hilarious, right?))

Anyway, I saw him again tweeting about “how great it was to meet people.”

So, I tried one last desperate attempt when he was on twitter and in a playful mood. I tweeted something stupid (and desperate) like, “I know this is really twitter needy, but I really wanted @CoryBooker to think we look awesome happy in this photo. Alas, hasn’t happened.”

This was the photo that was supposed to go with that tweet, by the way.

This was the photo that was supposed to go with that tweet, by the way.

Then he did tweet me back. “Thanks for sharing this pic.”

Now, since it seems like everyone under the sun gets a “Great pic!” I didn’t even get an exclamation point…. I of course took that as a declaration that he did not necessarily think it was a great pic, and he was so over my tweets.

But then – other people started tweeting that the picture was cute and all those good compliment-type things. Yeah, Cory Booker! It is a great photo says all your people on twitter. Why don’t you think so?  (over-dramatically cries)

Then, I was judging myself so hard about the stupid, needy tweet I’d sent, that I deleted it – not realizing that the photo would go away as well! I’d thought that just as when you put something in front of someone else’s words to make the tweet your own, that tweet stays – even if the original tweet is deleted… that the photo would work the same way!

Well, it doesn’t. And I learned it the hard way. So, I super annoyed Cory Booker (he hates me now, doesn’t he?) to the point where he finally tweeted out the picture. Then, I accidentally deleted said picture. (And in this mess, I lost 3 followers. (Guh.))

Basically, complete twitter failure tonight.

Here are my takeaways to this story:

1) I don’t need to have every single thing anyone else has. Him tweeting other people about awesome meetings and photos doesn’t negate our awesome meeting and photos.

2) Don’t make any tweet you wouldn’t mind having on your timeline forever. (I mean, obviously I already knew no damaging tweets.) But, don’t waste a tweet on something stupid – especially if it involves a photo!

3) Don’t worry so much about what other people think – not whether Cory Booker thinks your photos are great – so much so that you annoy him ’til he tweets you…. not whether you’ll still have a twitter follower after you’ve sent such a lame tweet, so you delete a tweet to which freaking Cory Booker himself responded.

Sigh.

Are You Following The Michael Jackson/AEG Trial?

Very Sad Thursday, May 9, 2013 Leave a comment

Michael Jackson making his great scrunched up noseI try to stay out of celebrity’s personal lives – or at least their personal lives as reported by others.

I imagine being in the public eye and having every single move scrutinized. If someone followed my every move, took pictures of me all day and night, and was constantly asking the people in my lives for information on me, would I always look good?

No. I’m human. As much as I like to believe I’m growing and great and fun and never lose my cool, or say something stupid – I constantly embarrass myself. I’m not perfect, and nobody else is. I don’t need to see celebrities in their most vulnerable or embarrassing moments. If I wouldn’t want it done to me, why do it to someone else?

This is a huge long lead up that has nothing to do with the Michael Jackson case – except to say that I have abandoned the way I usually act about these things.

When Michael Jackson was alive, I was good about staying out of his business. People always think it’s odd when I can talk about the engineering on his songs in depth – yet don’t know a bunch of his personal information.

“But I thought you were a fan?” Yeah. A huge fan of his music, his message – all the good stuff. But his personal life? I have no reason to care.

But… now that he’s dead, I can’t control myself. I used to watch the Conrad Murray trial everyday. I don’t know if y’all had it so in depth, but here in California they showed stuff almost 24/7. It filled my DVR. I don’t think I put other shows on there during that time – there was no room.

Michael Jackson smiling on stage, lightly holding arm during the Bad tourI felt bad, like maybe I was peering in on Michael Jackson’s life. But… Have you ever been in one of those situations where something just doesn’t make any sense at all. And you believe that maybe, just maybe, if you get all of the information, and you try so hard to sort it all out and get answers to a million questions – perhaps somehow it will all make sense? You know it’s never gonna make sense, ’cause some things in life just don’t. But, let’s just keep digging anyway as if that will help…

That’s how I kind of felt. How could he possibly die? I wanted to know definitively that it was Conrad Murray’s fault. I wanted to know how much to blame Michael. After watching the trial, I was sufficiently convinced Conrad Murray killed Michael Jackson.

(He didn’t watch him while administering propofol?! He took forever to call for any help?! He didn’t even administer CPR on a hard surface? I know your brain is going a million miles a second, but you are a doctor! And you didn’t make one decision that ended Michael Jackson’s life – you made multiple critical decisions if almost any of which had been different, he might still be alive today.)

And now this AEG thing is happening. And it sounds gross and horrible. The more details that come out, the worse it sounds. I don’t know what you all are gathering, but to me AEG sounds pretty evil. And I hope they suffer consequences.

Also, have you seen that someone who happens to be employed as a choreographer at AEG is now – after years and years of steadfastly, unwaveringly supporting Michael Jackson – is claiming he’s been molested?

Michael Jackson intense with fist in red leather jacketHow much is your soul and conscience worth, dude? The man is dead, and now you’re going to commit perjury, and throw someone you’ve spoken so highly of under a bus… for a job? (And if any of you are thinking he might not be committing perjury – somewhere he is! He was either lying under oath in his defense of Michael Jackson through a thorough cross-examination 8 years ago – or he’s lying under oath now. And if any of you are thinking “he was just a kid back then!” – he’s in his 30s now, so he was an adult during the child molestation trial.

I guess the moral of all this is people and companies are so gross – especially when it comes to money. Also, Michael Jackson wasn’t as appreciated as he should’ve been. I’m so unbelievably sad about what happened in his life. But, I’m sure the people closest to him who actually did care just had no idea how to help him. ‘Cause how could they have? I really don’t know.

And finally, I’m also gross for being sucked into watching so much of something like this.

Michael Jackson is gone. No matter how much we learn, and how much we hope that somehow we can logic him into being back into existence, it just doesn’t work like that.

Hot Yoga is Rough

Year of Responsibility Wednesday, May 8, 2013 Leave a comment
This photo has nothing to do with hot yoga. I didn't have a fun hot yoga picture. So, I just chose a picture where I looked a bit like a mess (granted, a happier/less mess than from hot yoga). This photo is when I took my hair down from the Cory Booker thing. Something I love almost as much as dressing up is the dressing down part when everything goes crazy.

I didn’t have a fun hot yoga picture. So, I just chose a picture where I looked a bit like a mess (granted, a happier/less mess hot yoga me).
This is post-hair-down from the Cory Booker thing. Something I love maybe as much as dressing up is the dressing down part when everything goes crazy.

Oh my gosh.

Have you ever tried hot yoga? Because it is rough!

(This is part of my “year of responsibility – doing more yoga. So why not hot yoga? Well…)

When I was visiting Ohio months ago (right before Jaime moved to San Francisco), I went with her to a warm yoga class.

It was amazing – one of the best classes I’ve ever had.

Once I got back to L.A., I wanted to start doing yoga more often because I know how good it is for me. I looked for a place close to downtown where I could go on the weekends. I found this one within walking distance of me, and thought, “Hot yoga? Well, if warm yoga was great, this will obviously be great.”

When I signed the consent form before class, I thought “hmmm, 105 degrees sounds really hot. But, I’m sure it’ll be fine…” It was barely fine!

In a 90 minute class, I probably got a 10 minute workout. I had to sit down 3 or 4 times because I was just so hot.

I also feel like when I was stretching I barely even moved, ’cause it was too hot to exert yourself too much.

A little over 45 minutes in, I thought, “You know what? You tried. But seriously, what are you doing trying to do yoga in a sauna for an hour and a half? Call it a day and just do a class at the gym next week.”

So, as everyone went into a pose where people were looking at the floor, I tried to grab my mat in one fell swoop and rush out the door.

Of course the teacher (who was walking around on the other side of the room, mind you – I really thought I’d picked the perfect moment) yelled out, “Aurora! Don’t leave! You’re over halfway through. You’re doing it.” Uuuuuuggghhh.

I loved her positive energy – but seriously!

I did survive through the 90 minutes. And I probably did sweat out a bunch of toxins or something like that. But I can almost guarantee you I will never do hot yoga again.

Ohio Health Suite at the Columbus Crew Game

Adventures Tuesday, May 7, 2013 Leave a comment

Aurora De Lucia in the Ohio Health suite at a Columbus Crew gameYet again – the awesome power of twitter.

So, I was checking out the Cap City twitter feed, and they had some tweets from Ohio Health – which was a sponsor of the race.

They were tweeting people asking them to come to the Ohio Health suite at the Columbus Crew game (Columbus’ soccer team). I tweeted and asked if there was more room in the suite. Sure, enough there was!

They invited both me and my dad to the game, which was awesome of them.

We got free t-shirts (I’m wearing mine in the picture), and we got autographed mini-soccer balls.

When I walked in the suite, I felt famous! I didn’t realize they kind of knew who I was. Everyone was all, “Oh, you’re 52 half marathons in 52 weeks Aurora.” So famous. They called me an influencer! What? I mean, I’m only hovering somewhere around 190 twitter followers, but golly, did I feel special.

There was even a little paper up telling us hash tags to use and people to tweet – ’cause we were influencers who people cared about on twitter. Awesome.

I’ll admit that I didn’t totally watch the soccer game. I spent most of my time talking to people (convincing one of the people there to actually join twitter). (She was there because she was an athletic trainer, there to answer any of our questions – not ’cause she was a “twitter influencer” – being that she didn’t have twitter and all.)

Also, I ate all the food ever. I’m a sucker for lots and lots of free food. I did of course watch some of the game. It was the first professional soccer match I’d been to!

I realized how little I knew about soccer when I had no idea if it was played in halves or quarters. And I didn’t know what the boxes outside of the goal meant. But, someone in the suite patiently explained soccer to me. So, it was a great learning experience for me about a game I knew so little about.

Overall, it was a great day! Huge thanks to Ohio Health for making me feel like a superstar!

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