Picking up from Sunday –
Under cognition, they clicked “noticeable impairment of:” Then they added in that space “denies impairments of memory, but inquires… ‘Why do you ask about memory?'” (That was after they’d asked me something like if I had a good memory.)
Just for the record, I wasn’t asking because I have a bad memory. I actually was asking because I get complimented a lot on my memory. I love being able to remember things. My memory is important to me. I hadn’t heard any specific risks when it came to memory, and I was just curious why they were asking the question – if the surgery could affect my memory, or just why that question came into play – if it’s anything I need to be concerned about.
And if anyone could’ve ever answered any of my questions with just simple straight answers instead of getting immediately defensive and answering back every question with a question, then perhaps some of this could’ve been avoided!
And if they were worried about my memory, why didn’t they just give me a memory test instead of asking me if I have a good memory? That would’ve been way more conclusive no matter what my answer had been.
In the mental status exam portion, they said my mood was euphoric. So, that’s interesting, I guess? I certainly didn’t freaking feel euphoric with them.
They also said “affect was inappropriate at times”?!
The dictionary says affect is “emotion or desire, esp. as influencing behavior or action.” They didn’t give any notes in that section. So, I don’t know why they thought my emotions or desires were inappropriate.
(Sure, I can be “inappropriate” sometimes (can’t we all? ;)), but I don’t think they meant in that way – and I certainly wasn’t inappropriate in that way in the interview.) The point is, I don’t know what’s going on in that section. Sigh. Moving on.
They also said my insight was fair. Well, at least I got a fair. That’s still not good. (I don’t know where fair falls on their little psych scale.) But I suppose it’s better than “poor,” which I assume is on there.)
Then there’s a bottom portion that says “phychosocial concerns.” And this is where I could tell that I don’t think they totally listened to me. It says, “Patient initially flew to Ohio because of a person she met on matchingdonors.com; however, she is not a match. Patient now unsure whether she would want to pursue paired exchange or non-direct donation.”
Let me tell you, patient is sure! Once I knew you could give to a stranger, I absolutely wanted to. I don’t want to pick the person! I am sure of that. So, I didn’t like that they made it sound like I was on the fence. I did adore that guy I was being tested for, but I’m sorry to say I can’t jump in a paired exchange with him. I’m letting fate and UNOS take me wherever I need to go…
They also mentioned “Patient describes situations that involve impulsive behavior.”
As far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t make me crazy or irresponsible. That makes me fun.
Another thing they said: “Patient has a history of job transitions in a short amount of time… endorsing a history of impulsive decision making.”
That is actually not impulsive decision making. That is just my industry. That is how my employment works. I work a show. We go on hiatus. I work another show. I’ve returned to future seasons of some shows. I’ve returned multiple times to the same companies for other shows, even if the show I started on ended.
It’s not like I never make my way back to working with the same people…. But working on a lot of different things doesn’t mean I’m impulsive. It means I work in entertainment… and thankfully, I actually work!
Finally she mentioned recommending getting a strong support system… yet again. Eesh.
This is where I’ll pick up Sunday.