Picking up from last time –
When I first decided I wanted to be a living kidney donor, my dad was a little wary about the idea.
I mean, he’s cool and all. (Plus, he’s super giving. So he couldn’t expect that his daughter wouldn’t be inspired by all his charity work and such.) Also, he respects me as an independent woman capable of making decisions.
However, I’m still always going to be Daddy’s little girl. If our relationship is anything like the one between him and his mom, he will still adorably treat me as though I’m 8 years old even when I’m 50 – going out of his way to baby me a little (and he’ll worry about me).
Of course, I don’t want him to feel worried about me. I suppose that’s just what happens to parents. It is what is.
All that to say, even if he understands my decision, and will stand by me as someone who loves me, he will most likely never lose that little scared feeling he has along with that.
So, he followed the process pretty closely with me. I was told at the beginning of the process that only 50% of people who start end up finishing the process and giving a kidney. My dad became very interested, wondering which half I’d be in.
While I feel supported by him, I know there was a part of him that wanted them to say I only had one kidney and never realized it – or something like that. I think he wanted something that medically wouldn’t be dangerous, but would disqualify me.
And the thing that was most hilarious to me about my denial from the psychologist was that my dad, in an almost disappointed way, immediately said, “Well all this means is you’re absolutely giving a kidney now.”
He didn’t, even for a millisecond, believe that that denial was going to be the end for me. He knew that I am super stubborn.
I do want to give my kidney for the right reasons. I was 100% sure about it even before this woman. So I don’t want to make it sound like she has any special power. But he knew her denial would make it so that I absolutely must give a kidney. I wouldn’t take no for an answer – especially such an unfair no.
He knew I’d be willing to go through inconveniences of more tests, more paperwork, whatever it took. Because now, not only do I have to help another person escape the hospital life I had… but I have to prove that lady wrong.
The silver lining for him is that part of proving her wrong is having an extremely successful surgery where I bounce back quickly. So I will take care of myself better than any kidney donor ever has!
So, at least he’ll know I’m super safe. But I just loved that, for him, the denial clinched that it was happening. (Daddy knows me so well.)
Now I’m all done talking about her in these posts because bitterness doesn’t look good on anybody (including me). And I don’t want to give her any more power than she already has (since she’s already taking too much).
I’m just gonna be thankful that she gave me even a little extra oomph… (as if I even needed it!).
And we’ll pick up with a recap of everything thus far next time.