Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!
Picking up from last time –
I was saying I don’t normally talk about relationships on this blog. That’s usually pretty easy, since I don’t date a lot (barely ever).
Dating has never been something I’ve been wildly interested in. When it happens to happen with someone you know, naturally taking a course or whatever, so be it. But a relationship has never been something I sought, as again, the dream is that my career is my one true love. (Of course, whether that whole career thing is panning out can certainly be debated. [*Sigh.*])
So, the social worker asks if I have a boyfriend. (Oof it feels weird even broaching this subject on the blog, as this is not usually an Aurora thing to talk about. Ugh. Sorry!)
Anyway, I say no. She asks if I’ve been in a long-term relationship. Again, I say no. She kind of looks at me as though that’s odd. But then I’m all, “I’m only in my mid-twenties. It can’t be that weird, right?”
After all, at the last hospital they wouldn’t stop harping about how young am I. If I’m a wee little baby, then I shouldn’t be expected to be on the precipice of marriage anytime soon. Right?
She said maybe I was thinking of long-term differently than she was. She said she didn’t mean an engagement, or a 5-year relationship or anything, just maybe one year.
And I just kind of looked at her. Then it seemed as though she almost started feeling weird (as though she thought she might be putting me down). So, she started to normalize it, saying, “Some people don’t find their true love until they’re in their 30s.”
I appreciated her for trying to make me feel good, and less awkward – and for not being judgmental. High five to the UCLA staff!
Even though I appreciated her kindness, I didn’t want it to be assumed that we all were on a search for our true love (as who knows if humans were really meant to partner up for life anyway).
So, part of me kind of wanted to come back with, “Who says I want to find a true love? Unless you’re talking about love with my production company I want to start, I wouldn’t hold my breath. I am happy and content by myself.”
But again, I don’t offer up any extraneous information because I absolutely do not want to start anything or seem difficult. I’m so normal. Oh so normal…
She asks if I want to get married. I say no.
On that big life decision, I feel like my real attitude is never say never. I guess it is possible that I could meet someone so exceptional that I can’t help but love them. And then maybe – maaaaybe – after at least 10 years of dating, if we happen to decide it is financially (or otherwise) beneficial, we could sign some papers (though I can’t quite imagine ever wanting a ceremony)…
I didn’t get into any of this with the social worker. As I said, I didn’t want to start anything. All I said was, “No, I don’t want to get married.” She looked at me as though her eyes were saying, “Do you want to expand on that?” And I looked back at her with eyes that said, “only if you ask me to – otherwise, I know it’s best to just be quiet.”
And this is where I’ll pick up next time.