I half-dislike talking about this, because I don’t like to think of myself as being annoying. Yet I know sometimes I am.
I try to read situations as best I can and pick up on the right vibes, but I don’t always get it right. (Though I don’t know that anybody always gets it right…)
I was listening to an episode of the Rich Roll podcast (recommended to me by my friend Carrie). I first got into it ’cause I couldn’t get enough of the Iron Cowboy who did 50 ironman-distance triathlons in 50 days in 50 states. (What?!)
Anyway, I was listening to a different episode while packing my bag for New York and I kind of disagreed with something one of the guests was saying.
To me, he sounded like he was saying millennials don’t totally understand how to go about getting things – how to put the work in.
He said that there was an idea he liked put forth by Sheryl Sandberg that you don’t look for a mentor. You don’t ask people. You do great work and let a mentor find you. (I don’t remember exactly how she presented that idea in Lean In. but this is how he presented it on the podcast.)
I disagree with that. You can’t expect people to find you (though I guess if you’re at the same company, which I think she suggested in her book, then maybe you can…). My mentor (my high school theater teacher) became my mentor by me doing tons of work in theater, and it just sort of happened. I didn’t seek her out or ask. I did the work and now I trust her and rely on her more than practically anyone on earth.
So, in that sense, maybe I see what this guy is saying. But! When I was applying to this musical theater program I really wanted to get into for years in a row and it wasn’t happening, I wrote one of my favorite musical theater composers (a Tony winner!) out of the blue to ask if he had advice. I was grasping at straws. And he wrote me back! He listened to my stuff. And he was super helpful. Did he become my mentor? No. Did I ask him to be? No. But he did help me.
And I feel like there’ve been many times in my life where I got help and guidance (or work or whatever) from companies or people because I asked. There’ve also been times where I’ve been ignored, or I’m sure had my resume thrown away.
And maybe I’m misunderstanding what this guy was saying. But he also told this story about how when a guy in Australia found out he was looking for an assistant, Australia guy flew halfway around the world and just showed up to say he wanted the job.
Now guest-podcast-guy was saying that Australia-guy didn’t think his actions through – that he didn’t respect boundaries. He said that the guy probably had some movie in his head and he thinks he’s gonna be the hero, but it just doesn’t work like that…
Except sometimes it does. It’s fine for guest-podcast-guy to share his opinions. (That’s the deal with podcasts.) But to me, it sort of sounded as though he was presenting it as fact that any bold move like that is not gonna be taken well.
Well, I heard a story from a friend of mine about this woman he knows. He said that she was up for a job she really wanted, and she didn’t get it. So she called back the next day and said, “I really want this job. I’m telling you, I’m the person for it. Hire me.” (Or something along those lines.) Still, she didn’t get the job.
Then, apparently she went down to the place the next day and I guess started working in the lobby, saying something like, “I want to be here. And I would make a great asset to this team.” And they hired her! Apparently they loved her persistence and figured that she must reeeeeeaaaaaaally want to work there. So they hired her. She’s been working there for a few years and has thrived.
That was a super risky move on her part! She could’ve been escorted out of the building by security guards. But it worked in her favor.
Even my dad told me that he got one of his first jobs by being the person who kept following up. “Well, son, we can see you want it more than any of the other candidates. It’s yours.”
Bold choices may get you kicked out of things. They also may get you welcomed with open arms.
Word is Robin Williams jumped on the auditioner’s table at his Juilliard audition. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s nice lore if it isn’t, ’cause I could totally believe it!
The thing with bold choices is you strike out or you hit a home run. It’s never just a base hit.