The other thing was that I couldn’t totally picture working at that theater again anyway. The commute is so long. I was hardly making any money. (In fact, I would’ve made more staying home on unemployment than using trains and busses and such to get to a low-paying job.) I was doing it for the love of theater (but getting a little poor in the process).
Never say never. Maybe for a show on a higher-tier contract, or maybe for a show where I got to have a creative job instead of an admin one, sure. I might’ve gone back had they invited me. But this wasn’t a place I envisioned working in anytime in the near future.
I hate cutting off possibilities, or burning bridges – especially in the entertainment industry. But I’ve also learned that everybody gets mad at everybody else at one time or another. After time passes or bosses change, you never know what could possibly be mended.
Had I not gone, I would’ve always wondered what would’ve happened – not to mention, the girl who got to play for the big deal played a game that had to do with Charlotte’s Web! I would’ve totally convinced myself that I would’ve played that had I been there (’cause that’s the show I was working on). And since I got to be there, I don’t have to live with that doubt.
So, was it worth it? I know it sounds like I’m saying yes. But ultimately, I probably shouldn’t have gone. Theater is my love in life (even more so than game shows if you can imagine). And I was working at a great theater with a great reputation. And it really sucks that I put myself in a position not to be hired there again. (Whoops for stubborn ol’ me.) Hindsight’s always 20/20 though! If I’d won $20,000, I might be singing a different tune!
It kinda sucks stuff timing worked out the way it did. But look, we’re all still alive. The show still happened. Everything is fine.