Note: Before I even get into this, can I just say… I know that everything seems like life or death to me when I write about it, because I care about stuff oh so much…
However, with this, it seems like people are actually legitimately worried about me. So, let me state unequivocally that I am fine. I am functioning. I am applying for job… I cried about Nightly Show a couple of times (as almost everyone on staff did). But this is not a traumatic incident. I am sad. I am about to express that – and that’s all. Now…
When I first got the news that The Nightly Show was ending, my initial reaction was to immediately text everyone I knew in the industry. “I need a job.”
That’s what happens when you lose a job in TV. You *immediately* look for the next one, ’cause that’s how TV works… It’s just part of it. No big deal. I didn’t take this as the heartbreaking blow it was at first…
I didn’t cry (immediately… I did pretty shortly after haha). I went into “work mode” (“gotta find another job, gotta find another job”)
And then I spent the rest of that week enjoying every moment I had with the people in that building… So many memories…
And now… Now it’s really hitting me. I didn’t just lose a job. I lost a family… I lost a dream… I had my freaking dream – making the kind of TV I wanted to make in the place I wanted to be with the people I wanted to be with… I literally felt I was living in a dream…
And now… Now, I’m sitting at home in LA, surrounded by pizza boxes, listening to Sam Smith on repeat.
I am totally heartbroken… I know I will get over it. But I was in loooove with my job – so head over heels in love. And I was already supposed to have this week off… But I don’t get to go back on Tuesday… I don’t get to go back…
Sigh.
I have always felt more emotional in movies and plays and everything when a dream or a job is lost rather than someone’s breakup… I SOBBED, and I mean freaking uncontrollably sobbed my freaking eyes out at Little Miss Sunshine. I won’t spoil it for you, but my goodness…
So, this is my true heartbreak. Losing my little Jon Stewart dream is slightly devastating (in the take 2 weeks to relax and get over it – you will be fine – but my goodness, go ahead and cry a lot) kinda way.
The end.