Picking up from yesterday –
So, because of all that, I think it’s very sadly time to give up chasing the plaque. It was fun. It was good while it lasted. But it just doesn’t feel good to chase it anymore.
I’m grateful for what the chase has given me… After being sexually assaulted (which is what was so hard about my last year and a half or so), I reeeeally struggled with whether to stay in New York or leave, so I did a half stay.
I “stayed” and worked here. But I escaped every weekend. And I think that was ultimately the right choice(?). I didn’t feel good, or safe, or happy being here all the time, and I needed to escape (a lot).
But I’m glad I kept roots here, because it is the dream, and I don’t know if I would’ve come back otherwise. So, going for the plaque was a great road map in how to escape on many weekends. It gave me places to go; I went to Europe for the first time!
It was really nice that as my world started to feel so much tinier, as it started to kinda of feel like I lived inside this metaphorical glass box, unable to feel anything or touch anybody, my world at the same time was expanding. I had no idea it was so easy to travel to Europe! It feels so exotic, but time-zone wise and travel-time wise, it’s similar to just going to Los Angeles.
Basically, it kinda feels like the world became more accessible to me this year – at a time when I needed it most.
So, I appreciate the journey.
And the journey to the 882 miles will indeed continue on. But the journey to the plaque is coming to a close. There were six of us in the running. So, I wish the best of the luck to the final five!