[Yes, this is a VERY old post!. Sorry; still always trying to make my way through, if i can. We’ll see!]
So, basically, I think I need a little pivot. And I’m not quite sure what that pivot is going to be, completely…
I don’t think I’m getting out of it what I want to, really? I don’t feel as zeroed in when I talk to people as I want. And I’m trying, but it doesn’t feel as connected as I want…
It’s also kinda weird/awkward, because of the public-facing part of it. I mean… I know that’s part of the whole thing about the blog. It is public-facing. And people do do vulnerable awesome interviews in public (on various podcasts, etc.). But not everybody wants to. And especially if I want to ‘interview’ people I’m close with, that’s a more personal thing that is weirder to talk about publicly.
I also haven’t been good at retaining the information long-term, or even semi-long term. And maybe that’s an issue with me (quite possibly), and there has to be a way to get better at it. But things aren’t sticking. I can’t recall the stuff. [I will talk more about this tomorrow.]
So, it doesn’t feel like it’s working, or at least working the way I want. So, I need to pivot to something that better defines this or helps it be better toward what I want it to be.
One thing I was sort of thinking about was having 52 conversations where I don’t ever talk about myself and always pivot back to them. [I guess that’s what an interview is, but an interview can feel a little stilted]. But, as much as people do like talking about themselves, most don’t like conversations that are truly only about them. So… I dunno.
I dunno! I’m sounding like a robot who doesn’t understand how people work. I don’t think I’m in the groups of people who truly don’t understand people. Like, I don’t think I have a diagnosis of an actual disorder or something.
I definitely have the ability to feel empathy (too much, sometimes, it seems). But I dunno. I’m not good at the truly deep connections and retention of conversations. And maybe that’s something that can’t be done 52 times in 52 weeks. I dunno.
I will make sure I ‘technically’ finish this project in that I have 52 conversations (hopefully interesting ones) with people before the end of the year [because I can’t bear for it to not be finished], but I’m not gonna write about them all.
Instead, I’m gonna leave a bunch of empty space in the next few months for me to fill it with whatever hopefully similar but better take on the project I decide to do.
I hope that makes sense. What a mess. haha xoxoxo