(I know we’ve kinda missed the moment, as I originally drafted this a couple weeks ago, but we were busy talking about Barbados haha. Still might as well talk about this now, I suppose! As… even though the moment has passed… it’s still being talked about a fair amount!)
This is way more about the public reaction than about the slap itself.
Everyone seems to be dog-piling on him in a really mean way.
And I’ve seen WAY too many jokes that are like “when you sleep with Will Smith’s wife [calm, happy pic]”. “When you make fun of Will Smith’s wife [angry pic, or ‘the slap’].”
First off, there’s a HUGE difference in choosing to try to forgive someone you love for hurting you (and why would you start something with someone they chose to get involved with? That person didn’t directly hurt you. Your problem is with your spouse, not the other party), and someone hurting someone you love.
I am a firm believer that (usually) cheating scandals should not define people (any of the parties involved).
Like, there needs to be a statute of limitations on jokes about it. It’s not funny years after the fact. In fact, I would say usually it’s not that funny even one full year after the fact.
(Also, I think it’s a little unclear whether there was any actual cheating involved as both Will and Jada seem to make it sound like they were separated at the time she got “entangled” with August.)
Either way! Whether it was “officially” cheating, it was still clearly a painful time in their relationship. Even if there were separated at the time, there was clearly a reason for that. I’m sure whatever it was, was probably pretty painful if you’re separating from your spouse whom you have kids with.
But, because everyone on the internet keeps likening it to cheating, I’ll talk about it within that general vicinity.
I imagine that for many couples, when there is infidelity that it takes a LOT of time and energy and effort to move through that with each other – if they ever do fully move through that/heal. If they have somehow already done that long and hard journey alone/together, why should we dogpile on to where they’re constantly reminded of such a hard time in their life?
And this is where I’ll pick up tomorrow –
I so disagree with this. Usually I’m very on board with your views. But what the world saw was a microcosm of what many who work in production day to day deal with- over inflated , entitled egos, where celebrity culture is stoked to make these people believe that they are above other people and have no consequences for their behavior that if in different circumstances – would have been totally dealt with differently.
Imagine if the person on the stage was a woman, or transgendered person. Or if the person making the attack was a white man slapping a black man. Or if the attacker was not Will Smith, but a homeless person or just an “ordinary” person in the crowd. I think to judge the response it is helpful to flip the script a bit to think about what would be appropriate as a response, we’re the same action taken differently.
In all those instances, the response would have been swift and very different. Arrests would have been made. Charges brought.
But,that’s what happens in this culture of worshiping famous people: we are endow them with a special status and excuse behavior that we would find unacceptable in the day to day world. I have had to “grin and bare it” often on a daily basis from personalities in the last 20 years in Hollywood. I don’t think we saw exceptionally different behavior from a celebrity in this instance. I think common behavior patterns, that play out behind the scenes daily on sets- it was just exposed to a half billion people all at once and it embarrassed all of show biz. We all know how common horrible behavior is- we just like it to be hearsay and gossip, not played out on live tv by one who we thought was above it all. That’s why I think the responses are all over the place.
Hey Brian! Always good to hear from you. And I do appreciate what you’re saying. And I just think so many issues are interwoven in this – including, in my opinion at least, in the public response, racism against Will Smith. I think some people have been calling for being WAY harsher on him than for white celebrities who’ve done more heinous things.
I know your comment says to imagine if the person who received the slap was a woman or a transgender person. But they weren’t. I think context basically always matters, and say for instance I’m at a bar with friends and it’s one of their 40th birthdays (or some other even bigger event, since we’re kind of comparing it to Will Smith winning an Oscar). And acquaintance A [of same gender/race/sexuality/age group] gets in birthday person’s face, making a joke about their spouse, whom they’ve been ragging on for like over a decade. And the birthday person and their spouse have been through a lot, like they don’t need that – especially at their birthday. Especially when they’ve been annoyed about this before. Especially when the person making the jokes had wanted the spouse way way back in the day, and it feels punitive. And the birthday person kinda loses it and gives one slap.
Yeah, it’s a real shocker. And yeah, if it were a pattern of behavior with the birthday person, obviously something would need to change. But one time in decades? When they’re under that much stress? I could see the party awkwardly continuing without the cops getting into it.
When you say imagine all these other scenarios, like they would be different! If I were slapped by a scary person on the street that I have no history with whatsoever, that feels scarier. And I’d be more likely to press charges. If I were slapped in a way where I had no actual physical injuries by someone I’d known for a very long time, sure I’d probably want to talk to them about it, but like, for that specific scenario, I can’t imagine pressing charges – *especially* if it were anyone non-white because of how the system treats non-white people. I wouldn’t want to bring that on someone for something that, in my opinion, seems forgivable.
I think someone’s body of work kind of matters into how you take things that seem outside of character.
I absolutely don’t think he should’ve done it. I don’t think violence is all of a sudden acceptable just because someone’s being mean to you. I don’t think it was a good choice. But some people are acting like he should lose everything and so many future opportunities just because he made one split second bad decision. I think punishments should fit crimes, and in my opinion at least, many people are calling for things that don’t feel like they fit, to me.
But I appreciate you pushing back and letting me know your opinion!