Aurora's Blog

My Day As A “Let’s Make a Deal” Contestant – Part 4 (Post-Interview, Pre-Show)

February 17, 2015

(Missed any part? Here’s the whole series.)

Picking up from last time –

My dad and I go in for our little mini-headshots that the Let’s Make a Deal people take.

This is where they look at those information cards. Yet again, I left the social media spot blank.

I figure it’s always better not to give too much information, though I could be completely wrong on that!

Also, it’s possible they’re maybe not asking that to judge how awesome our internet presence is. They might ask so they can tag us later, if they talk about us (if we get on the show). Although they ask you for your handles later in the contestant room. So, I don’t think it’s that.

I still don’t know why they do it. I don’t know if it can help or hurt you, but I was still too afraid to give mine (even though I know you can oh-so-easily look them up).

Aaaaanyway, we get our picture taken. Then the line snakes around to the greenscreen.

As my dad and I are in line, we talk about the interview and how it was fast. We’re hoping that means she really loves us and thinks, “Yeah, I’m gonna put them on the show.” After all, my Price is Right one was very fast.

It’s also possible she could’ve thought, “I’m annoyed with them and so over them… Get outta here.”

Whatever it meant, we were pretty sure that however she felt about us, she was sure. She didn’t need any extra time or information to waffle on whether she liked us. She knew. And that’s better than not knowing.

Once at the greenscreen, you get separate pictures, and then you get group ones. In front of me, I heard the photographer say the same thing to people over and over. “You can put your stuff down. Step on the line. Now give me an excited face.”

When it was my turn, he was doing something for the first second when he’d usually say that.
(I think he was changing the screen back from blue to green; they use a blue background if someone is wearing green.)

I immediately stepped up on the line and gave an excited face. When he got back to his camera, I was already in position. [*Dusts off shoulders, if I do say so myself*]

He seemed pleasantly surprised. But come on, I’d heard it enough. If I’m paying attention at all, I should know what to do.

My dad was just as fast as I was. So, when it was time for the two of us to take pictures together, the photographer gave us a few different facial expressions to try. I think he was having fun with us, since I like to think we’re semi-pros at this. 😉

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

My Day As A “Let’s Make a Deal” Contestant – Part 3 (The interview)

February 16, 2015

Aurora De Lucia giving crazy eyes, looking down, with a microphone pointed at her on Let's Make a Deal — Credit: CBS/Freemantle

(Missed any part? Here’s the whole series.)

Picking up from last time –

We went into our interview. This time, Tamara was the interviewer.

Nothing against Jason, but I was sort of relieved, as I was kind of intimidated by him.

I’m so sure he would not have remembered me. Nonetheless, I just did such a horrendously horrible job in my last interview, that I was a wee bit traumatized. (Traumatized is perhaps a slightly strong word… hmmmm, but not really. It was mortifying how poorly I did at that interview!)

When Tamara asked us who we were and what we did, I already knew what I was going to say. No way was I going to get into how I was working on a reality show about The Jacksons. I thought that was way “too LA” for me to be picked.

Side note: They ask on the little cards you fill out what you do for a living, and you can’t veer off on a blank the same way you can in the interview. So, I did have to put something.

I think I put something vague (like freelancer), hoping no one really looked at those too hard, or that if they did, they wouldn’t care too much about a boring answer. (I have no idea how much information on those cards is taken into account – though I’m interested, if you do!)

Aurora De Lucia smiling while looking down/off on Let's Make a Deal — Credit: CBS/Freemantle

So, Tamara asks us to tell her about ourselves. I say I’m Aurora, and I’m a mere two tests away from being a living kidney donor.

She mentioned something about wondering what my parents thought – which is when my dad jumped in with, “Well, I’m her dad!”

She talked to him about his knee brace. He explained he got hurt in a hip-hop dance class.

I know my dad is a wonderful and interesting person. But sometimes, somehow, I forget that he is so outgoing, and is truly fabulous game show material.
(He was on one over 20 years ago. (And he spectacularly lost! :-))

I always forget that I’m a little version of my Daddy. If ever I think I’m outgoing, or interesting, or pleasant – he’s 10x what I am. And seeing him in his interview reminded me of that.

He’s a perfect person to bring to a game show (except for the fact that he might outshine you ;)). I would’ve been ecstatic to see him play, though, so I didn’t care who got up there (as long as one of us did, consarn it!).

Tamara seemed to like us fine enough. And very quickly, the interview was over.

This is where I’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 13 (Did You Know A Rejected Kidney Is Not Removed? (I Learned That In My Psych Interview))

February 15, 2015

Dr. Hibbert holding up a pair of burst kidneys next to pristine ones — Credit: Fox/Matt Groening (The Simpsons)

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

So, the first thing the psychiatrist said we’d discuss – informed consent.

He asks me basic questions about the procedure and what it will mean for me (time spent in the hospital and such).

He asks, “What are some possible complications for the kidney recipient?” For some reason, this question surprised me. It probably shouldn’t have. If I care enough about a stranger to give her a kidney, don’t you think I’d care at least a bit about that person’s recovery?

I guess I wasn’t thinking about it since I’m never going to meet that person or see her recovery. So, I think I kind of maybe distanced myself from that part of it, kind of assuming, “Eh, once she has it, I’m not part of her process anymore.”

While it’s true I won’t be part of the patient’s recovery, I guess it is a little weird not to be thinking about her and what she’s going through – maybe it’s even a little selfish of me to say, “Eh, my part will be done by then.” [*Wipes hands dramatically, and exits grandly.*]

So, he definitely made me think about the other person’s full journey a little more, which I was happy about.

When I was answering his question about possible complications for the recipient, I mentioned that she could reject the kidney. I thought if a kidney was rejected, it had to be taken out. But I learned in this interview that the kidney’s actually left in!

Homer and Grampa holding hands before kidney surgery — Credit: Fox/Matt Groening (The Simpsons)

Apparently it’s more dangerous to make a recipient go through another surgery to remove the kidney than it is to leave the rejected kidney in.

While I do feel I’m tripping up a little on this question – since I didn’t know a rejected kidney stays in someone’s body – at least I’m learning an interesting new fact! And the psychiatrist is being super cool. He tells me most people don’t know that a rejected kidney stays in.

I still wish I would’ve known. The medical professionals expect you to retain a lot of details about kidney donation, so they can be sure you know what you’re getting into. And not even for them, but for myself, I want to be confident that I do understand the process.

But at least I can justify not knowing this specific detail to myself, since it really doesn’t affect the donor (me)… So, that’s something, right?

And we’ll pick up here next time.

My Day As A “Let’s Make a Deal” Contestant – Part 2 (My Costume)

February 14, 2015

Aurora De Lucia with Sharmine, Let's Make a Deal Contestants, stand smiling, interested, looking at Wayne Brady — Credit: CBS/Freemantle

(Missed any part? Here’s the whole series.)

Picking up from last time –

Once we get close to Let’s Make a Deal, I realize I just ate chili – red, messy chili!

That has to be one of the worst things to eat before going on camera – when you want your teeth to look all pearly white. And I didn’t have a toothbrush or any mouthwash with me. Gah!

We stop at a couple of close-by gas stations. No one has whitening rinse. (Granted, I guess that is more of a grocery store thing than a gas station/7-11 type thing.)

How did I forget mouthwash? And with a white outfit, no less! It’s already hard for teeth to look great while wearing white. Oof.

Speaking of my white outfit, it was white because I went with the kidney donor costume this time around!

A) I thought it was a stronger costume than the runner.

B) I thought it was simpler to explain. I thought it took fewer words to say, “I’m two tests away from becoming a living kidney donor” than, “Oh, I’m a runner and I lost 60 pounds, so I’m bib number 60.”

When you look at it written out like that, they sound almost equally easy to explain. But there was something about it that made the runner one seem harder to me.

Not to mention, I feel like every time I talk about my weight loss, there’s at least a smidge of negativity that goes into it – negativity such as, “How could I have gotten so fat in the first place?” Also, “uuugh I still have at least 30 pounds to lose. Why are we even celebrating right now?”

a side by side of two pictures of Aurora De Lucia running when she was pretty fat, and running when she's much less fat — While we’re talking about fat vs less fat, here’s an example of that! (Credit: Brightroom & MarathonFoto)

I don’t necessarily try to bring that negativity in, but I think you can hear it in my voice. So, I wanted something that I was purely proud of (and that wouldn’t be embarrassing in any way).

C) This is the most important reason! When I’d gone with B and Jaime, it was before big kidney day(s), and I had no idea what to expect from the UCLA psychiatrist.

Would I crash and burn there, as I did in Ohio? I didn’t feel comfortable going as a living kidney donor until I was reasonably sure it would happen.

When I went to LMAD with my dad, I’d gone through all the tough tests! All they had to do was repeat my 24-hour-urine collection. I was sure everything was going be fine. All my urine tests were fine in Ohio. What could’ve changed in two years?

Well, the answers to that are in the kidney saga – not the LMAD posts. The point is, I was reasonably sure I’d be a living kidney donor. I also thought I’d be having the surgery basically right before this aired, which I thought would be lovely timing, and hopefully a great way to spread the word on how awesome(?) kidney donation is.

[*Deep, long sigh*] I was so wrong.

Nonetheless, that was my costume. And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

My Day As A “Let’s Make a Deal” Contestant – Part 1 (Forgot My ID! Relegated To The Afternoon Show)

February 13, 2015

Aurora De Lucia and her dad outside of Sunset Bronson Studios for a Let's Make a Deal taping — (This was taken after, not before. That’s why my dad was wearing that hat. :-P)

I went to Let’s Make a Deal once before this.

So, if you want the pre-experience that talks about the process and speeches and everything, you can go there (or you can easily, happily start here – it’s all up to you!).

This time, my dad came to town! (Yay!)

We wanted to go to a taping of The Price is Right, because he’s never been. (I think he’d make a great contestant.) Unfortunately, that wasn’t taping the week he was here… But Let’s Make a Deal was!

I was still wanting to give LMAD my best shot, as I’d now been game-show eligible again for almost 6 months! Get it together, Aurora! Right?

So, on September 11th, 2014, my dad and I went. We were supposed to go to the morning show, but I forgot my ID! (Aye, aye, aye.)

A person working the line said I was still welcome to go in, I just couldn’t play. I don’t know how I actually responded, but it felt like I maybe gave her a rude look. Definitely my gut reaction was, “Come on! What’s the point in going if I can’t play?” (Though, I’ll admit there are instances when you’d go even if you can’t play – such as if I’d gone to TPiR with my dad, with the hope that he’d get chosen.)

Anyway, hopefully my face didn’t read as, “uhhh, why in the world would I be here to not play? This is Let’s Make a Deal!” (Apologies to that woman if I came off rude.)

There wasn’t enough time to get downtown and back for the morning taping, but we were told we could come back and jump in the standby line for the afternoon show.

Thankfully, when I looked online, there were still priority (guaranteed) tickets available for the afternoon.

So, Daddy and I went back to my apartment, grabbed my ID, and printed out the new tickets.

Since we had some time to kill, my dad wanted to take me to his favorite pizza place from when he used to live here. We drove to his old stomping grounds… and Backstop Pizza was gone.

But we did find this incredible chili place (Tub’s Chili), run by the funny Rancher Rick, where they even served vegan chili! So, we were all about it.

In my leftovers, I realized I had a jalapeno – which was the quickie deal announced on twitter. Score. (That will not matter in this story, but I thought it was a cool enough happenstance to mention it.)

Now, it’s off to the afternoon taping! I’ll pick up here tomorrow.

So, Did You Watch Let’s Make a Deal This Morning?

February 12, 2015

I’m still working on getting a copy of the video up for your beautiful people. I’ll let you know when it’s here!

But if you missed it, well, I won’t spoil it quite yet (even though I have on social media) since I want to give you a chance to see the video.

But, just as we did with Price is Right, I will talk about every detail of being a contestant. Hopefully that interests you! If not, I hope to see you in March! 🙂

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 12 (The Psychiatrist Lays Out Interview Plans)

February 11, 2015

Aurora De Lucia in a hosptial gown with a huge smile on her face (in black and white) — I’m not sure why I filtered this in black and white for social media (since I don’t often like to do that). But I can’t find the original photo! So, um, here’s the black and white filtered one…

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

My last appointment of the day was with the psychiatrist.

The appointments were listed on the schedule as consults, but I’ve mainly been calling them interviews here (as the social worker and psychiatrist aren’t just there to consult – they’re there to evaluate me). Of course, I was expecting interrogations. So, interviews are a pleasant surprise.

The first thing the psychiatrist said (other than introductions) was “this is gonna be the easy part.”

“Why do I have a very hard time believing that?” I sarcastically wondered in my head… But do you know what? He was telling the truth! We had the best time. We laughed together (multiple times!). He was absolutely wonderful to me.

This didn’t seem like an interview at all. Maybe this really was a consult. Heck maybe this was just a fun chat with my total new best friend.

At the beginning of our meeting, he laid it out oh so simply.

“We’re only gonna talk about three things,” he said.

1) Informed consent (Do you know what you’re doing?)

2) Good outcomes (He said sometimes patients have temporary emotional or psychological problems after donation, and he doesn’t want that for me (or anyone if it can be avoided). So, we’ll address any issues that might put me at risk for not the best outcome.)

Aurora in her old living room laughing happily — Just a random old shot (from years ago) of me laughing, since there was oh so much laughter during this interview (and since this picture still exists on my computer)

3) Temporary problems with memory, attention, and concentration.
(He said that’s very rare, but it is possible. And if something like that were to happen, the surgeons would send me his way. And when they would, he’d want to know from where I’m starting – so he knows to where I need to get back.)

And then [*drumroll*] – he asked me questions relating to those three things, in that order.

He did not stray from what he said we’d talk about. He did not make judgements about my personality (or if he did, he kept them to himself and didn’t let them affect my ability to give).

This is exactly what I envisioned this meeting should be like!

Thank you, UCLA (and this incredible psychiatrist) for making me feel like I’m… well, I don’t want to say normal. ‘Cause who’s “normal”? But you know, competent, I guess. And I felt like my desire for an interview along the lines of this one was not out of line, since look! I was given this one here! Boom.

As we moved through the questions, he was so patient.

When I’d give an answer, he’d reflect back. “So, if I hear you, it sounds like you’re saying [insert whatever answer I just gave phrased differently, so I know he’s hearing me and that I’m getting across the answers I want to get across].”

He’s the best ever. I bet his patients (and families and strangers) love him.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

Watch Thursday’s “Let’s Make a Deal” (If You Want)

February 10, 2015

My dad and I went to a taping of Let’s Make a Deal that airs this Thursday morning. (CBS. Some people get it at 9. Some at 10. Check your local listings).

If you wanna see what happens, tune in, or set your DVRs!

And yes, we will talk all about it. If you’re interested in hearing about the last game show I was on, you can read Price is Right posts to your heart’s content here.

Has My Opinion About College Changed Now? – Part 2 (Final Thoughts)

February 9, 2015

Picking up from last time –

This class also showed to me that things in life are so intertwining. As we learned about various reforms throughout the years, they’d be tied to presidents, vice presidents, wars, and other historical people or events.

Some people seemed to have such an exceptional grasp of history – to know immediately, once a time period was established, who the major players were, and what major events were going on.

Of course I know some stuff about history. But I learned through this class that I’m not as comfortable as many people are. Quick! Who was president after Grover Cleveland?

Did you just say, “Well, it depends on which term, because Grover Cleveland was the only president to serve non-consecutive terms. So, it’s either Benjamin Harrison or William McKinley?” If you did say that, I am totally amazed… And I’m not on your level.

That’s a bit overwhelming to me. I know I could read and take classes for the rest of my life if I wanted to. I’m sure the more I seek to learn, the more I’ll learn and retain. So, I may be able to kick it with the best of the history buffs at some point.

I still question whether I should’ve read/studied more earlier. But the idea of possible regret has been talked to death. So, let me get back on the subject if my opinion of college has changed.

Here are the two things that have definitely changed.

I used to be kind of judge-y about these kinds of extension or non-traditional classes. I’m sure there are all sorts of various levels of them. But I can tell you now that I’m much more likely to be impressed with someone who’s gone through a full program.

It is tough to juggle your work and general life with school! And it is hard to do it across the country from everyone else. It’s doable obviously. But it’s more of a feat than I ever gave people credit for.

Speaking of not giving people credit, there are still plenty of places on the internet where people say Harvard Extension is not real Harvard. I’ve never taken a class at Harvard College. But I know that I was taught by a Harvard professor, we delved very deep into the subject, and I learned a lot. My impression is that Harvard Extension is legit. Internet people can say what you want. But I think it’s pretty tough.

The other thing that’s changed is that in general, I also didn’t think all that much of a Bachelor’s Degree – like, okay, y’all got a piece of paper. Good for you.

I think because I never really saw many of my friends study – I just saw them playing frisbee and video games, and generally having a grand ol’ time – that college must be an easy ride. Of course, I never really took into account that I lived nowhere near my friends in college. So, anytime I got to see them, it was a rare and lovely occurrence. Of course they’re not going to have their head in a book when a visitor is there! Of course we’re gonna stay up all night and have fun!

So, after one class I’ve already realized I think college is a lot tougher (and more time consuming) than I imagined. Sorry to any students/graduates I’ve judged (or have had judgmental thoughts about). Y’all are doing more work than I realized.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 11 (Finishing Up The Social Worker Interview (Which Wasn’t Bad At All!))

February 8, 2015

Aurora in high school, performing in a children's show — I mention singing in a song from Rent. Since I don’t have any pictures of that, enjoy me in a photo from a children’s show!

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

After all that, I think she ended up thinking I was gay. (It really doesn’t make a difference to me what she thinks my sexual orientation is.)

But right as we were leaving the subject, and she was saying something about long-term boyfriends she kind of blurted out, “or girlfriend!”

I didn’t respond because it wasn’t a question. It was just an exclamation. And she moved on quickly after that.

Later, she started asking me about religion, saying many people who do charity work do it through a church. So, she wanted to know if I ever did anything through a church. I said I prefer not to, as I found many churches far too judgmental of people when the whole idea is supposed to be to not judge…

So, between her blurted out girlfriend comment, and my comment about judgmental religions, I think it’s possible she might think I’m gay.

As long as she thinks I’m competent enough to give a kidney, she can think I’m Maureen in Rent for all I care. (“Boys, girls, I can’t help it, baby!”) (Side note: I played Maureen in that song for one of my friend’s senior recitals, for anyone at home who wants a little piece o’ trivia.)

Aurora De Lucia singing into a microphone — Another singing photo, ’cause you know, I only have so many kidney photos! 😛

Thankfully, somehow I made it to the end of the interview without being goaded (and hopefully without goading).

The social worker was so kind. She gave me her card and said to call anytime about anything.

She even walked me out of the building, since I had to go to a different one for my next interview (and she was leaving too).

[Oh my goodness, Aurora. You’re basically done. You’re only in the small talk phase with her. Be cool! You can small talk with someone down the stairwell.]

And I did it successfully! We talked a little about her daughter, and soon enough we were out the door.

She told me the psychiatry consult should be way easier than my time with her. I looked at her like, “Uh, it can get easier?”

Aurora De Lucia with her face in some flowers after a performance in high school — and I thought this picture was fitting since we’re apparently doing performance pictures, but also it’s accepting a bouquet for a job well done – just like I did with this interview. Ba-bam!

I mean, I know I had some worried posts and all when it came to the kids and family questions. But overall, this thing was a breeze. She was kind and polite, and a fabulous non-judgmental listener. We laughed and had a grand ol’ time together.

In a one hour interview, maybe 3 minutes of it were scary – and really only because I was doing it to myself.

So, to imagine the psychiatry interview was going to be any easier (especially when you’d assume the psychiatrist would be my arch-nemesis), sounded exceptional (and not probable, but I guess we’ll see!).

Let’s find out how it went – next time.

So, What Was It Like To Take My First Class at Harvard Extension? Part 3 (The Final)

February 5, 2015

Picking up from last time –

I requested my proctor weeks in advance. (I’d learned the last time that sometimes places can want two weeks notice.) I took the test at UCLA. (I had a very nice proctor.)

I was more worried than I should be going into this. I’d always thought people were so ridiculous when it came to final exams! Settle down, students. Geez. But now that I was one again, I thought, “Okay, I get the stress.”

I barely slept the night before. Because of various circumstances (including the hours the testing center were open, and the test being 3 hours long), I had to take a morning test. I was nervous about getting up, and taking the test in general. I’m not particularly a morning person. So, I ended up barely sleeping the night before.

Of course the longer it took me to fall asleep, the worse it got, because I worried harder about my brain not being at full capacity the next day.

Eventually, I slept for a bit. Then, I made my way to UCLA. On the bus, I re-read chapters of our book. On the walk to UCLA, I was muttering court cases underneath my breath, trying to review everything I knew.

I stopped at Starbucks and got a Veniti(!) coconut milk peppermint latte. I never drink a Venti. (I didn’t finish it.) But I had a free drink and figured I’d go all out for this crazy, early-morning 3-hour-long exam.

Once I got there, my proctor immediately said, “Aurora?” I must’ve been the only person taking a test that early. He set me up in a room, and gave me the instructions for the test. There was plenty of paper given to me. So, we both were of the mindset I wouldn’t need anymore. But he told me if I did, to let him know. (I totally ended up using more pages.)

The one thing that was so nice about a distance exam was that with no other students in the room, I could speak my answers out loud a bit. I’m sure I could be silent. But I liked being able to talk things out loud for a sec if I needed to straighten out my thoughts. I also liked that when I first took a look at the exam and was confident I knew everything on it, I excitedly exclaimed, “let’s do this!” to no one in particular. I wouldn’t have done that with a class full of students.

…But, I did have to pay $75 to have a 3-hour test proctored.

I thought there’d be no way the test would take all 3 hours. That sounds like a long test, but apparently I don’t know how long finals should me. It took me every minute of that three hours! I was writing furiously. I can barely smell anything, and even I felt like I could almost smell the ink ready to catch on fire or something with how quickly I’d write certain sections.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to check all of my work. But I did the best I could.

After three hours, I turned in my final. My proctor scanned my exam, and had me watch it so we could be sure it got to Harvard on time. I also got a confirmation email from Harvard not long after. So, everybody was all about making sure I felt confident that my test was turned in, which was nice.

Even though I hadn’t gotten to check everything, I still walked out quite confidently. I felt like I was in some slow-mo shot, walking down the street, as the baddest girl in town.

I celebrated by picking up some Native Foods Cafe on my way to the airport. Then I went to Denver with my Daddy (and with practically no cares in the world now that the test was done)!

Late on Christmas Even night, my TA let me know I got an A!

I did it. An A in my first super college-y college class.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 10 (No, I Don’t Want A Husband Either (The Social Worker Interview Continues))

February 4, 2015

Aurora holding a magazine in the waiting room — Just a random photo I took in one of the waiting rooms during Big Kidney Days

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

I was saying I don’t normally talk about relationships on this blog. That’s usually pretty easy, since I don’t date a lot (barely ever).

Dating has never been something I’ve been wildly interested in. When it happens to happen with someone you know, naturally taking a course or whatever, so be it. But a relationship has never been something I sought, as again, the dream is that my career is my one true love. (Of course, whether that whole career thing is panning out can certainly be debated. [*Sigh.*])

So, the social worker asks if I have a boyfriend. (Oof it feels weird even broaching this subject on the blog, as this is not usually an Aurora thing to talk about. Ugh. Sorry!)

Anyway, I say no. She asks if I’ve been in a long-term relationship. Again, I say no. She kind of looks at me as though that’s odd. But then I’m all, “I’m only in my mid-twenties. It can’t be that weird, right?”

After all, at the last hospital they wouldn’t stop harping about how young am I. If I’m a wee little baby, then I shouldn’t be expected to be on the precipice of marriage anytime soon. Right?

She said maybe I was thinking of long-term differently than she was. She said she didn’t mean an engagement, or a 5-year relationship or anything, just maybe one year.

And I just kind of looked at her. Then it seemed as though she almost started feeling weird (as though she thought she might be putting me down). So, she started to normalize it, saying, “Some people don’t find their true love until they’re in their 30s.”

Aurora in front of the desserts at Native Foods Cafe — …Yes, I took another photo at Native Foods Cafe because that place is so exceptionally delicious, and I totally went there on both days

I appreciated her for trying to make me feel good, and less awkward – and for not being judgmental. High five to the UCLA staff!

Even though I appreciated her kindness, I didn’t want it to be assumed that we all were on a search for our true love (as who knows if humans were really meant to partner up for life anyway).

So, part of me kind of wanted to come back with, “Who says I want to find a true love? Unless you’re talking about love with my production company I want to start, I wouldn’t hold my breath. I am happy and content by myself.”

But again, I don’t offer up any extraneous information because I absolutely do not want to start anything or seem difficult. I’m so normal. Oh so normal…

She asks if I want to get married. I say no.

On that big life decision, I feel like my real attitude is never say never. I guess it is possible that I could meet someone so exceptional that I can’t help but love them. And then maybe – maaaaybe – after at least 10 years of dating, if we happen to decide it is financially (or otherwise) beneficial, we could sign some papers (though I can’t quite imagine ever wanting a ceremony)…

I didn’t get into any of this with the social worker. As I said, I didn’t want to start anything. All I said was, “No, I don’t want to get married.” She looked at me as though her eyes were saying, “Do you want to expand on that?” And I looked back at her with eyes that said, “only if you ask me to – otherwise, I know it’s best to just be quiet.”

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

What I Learned From 52 Half Marathons in 52 Weeks

February 3, 2015

I know we’re really doing the final look-back/wrap later than I thought. But look! We’re here. We’re doing it.

So, I did this huge project – sort of on a whim, that sort of just grew and it became this whole thing.

There have been *many* posts dedicated to this project on this blog. If I talked about something so much and so often, I had to have taken something away from it, right?

So, let’s reflect.

If I were to put my lessons into words (which I am doing now), I would say here are some takeaways:

1) Be flexible!

I was going to say have plans A, B, C (and maybe even more). However, I don’t think you actually need to make that many plans. Make your plan, but see places where it might need to change. Keep ideas on the back-burner. It might involve a lot of thinking on the fly.

I knew that anything could happen – weather, race cancellations, injuries. You never know what’s possible. So, I doubled up on some weekends and tried to bank some races in the beginning. That way, whenever anything did happen, I was ready to take it on!

I’m not trying to say we should waste too much time thinking about bad things that conceivably might happen. I’m just saying you might as well be flexible because things in the world are going to happen and change no matter what. But all you can change is your attitude. And being willing to roll with the flow is only going to make things easier on you and your life.

2) You decide what’s possible.

There were tons of excuses as to why this wouldn’t be feasible. Obviously the expenses were going to be an issue. Even just the actual planning was tough. I also changed from working day to night shift during the year. They actually both had their own pros and cons as to how they were easier or harder for doing the races. But sleep was tough! Committing to actually waking up (or staying up) to that crazy time of the morning 52 times (or almost 52 – since some where at night) – that in itself was a big deal.

And perhaps it may have actually been smarter to take some of the possible obstacles into consideration. (I lucked out like crazy that the money worked out, ’cause I totally committed to the project before making a budget or thinking that through – eep!).

However, I still have to say, it would’ve been easy to get hung up in obstacles. But I said I would do something, crossed any obstacles necessary, and I did it.

To me, that was the biggest takeaway of the project – we decide what’s possible.

(That feels both empowering and foolish to say… but maybe true…)

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 9 (No, I Don’t Want Kids (The Social Worker Interview Continues))

February 1, 2015

Aurora De Lucia giving a huge smile at the doctor's office — This was me moments after I learned my procedure was successful and I could not bear children

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

When we’d talked about kids, I think I said my “no” (about not wanting to have them) in a bit too strong of a tone of voice. That was maybe partially what took her aback. When I noticed I was digging myself into a hole, my immediate first reaction was to try to jump in and explain myself out of it.

“Well, I want to live my work. I want to work on something I’m so passionate about that it takes up as much time children would – more time than children would! I don’t want to spend the money on kids. I don’t want to lose my freedom to kids. I don’t want to fully trust another human being to raise kids with me. I don’t want to inadvertently make any wrong decisions that would make my kids grow up to resent me. I don’t want to wreck my body anymore than I’ve already wrecked it with being fat and with open-heart surgery (and plastic surgery). I don’t want to bring another child into the world when there are so many kids without homes already…” And on an on.

(And yes, I realize some of those points would be moot with adoption, or with being a single parent. I don’t care. I don’t want children. I just don’t. [*Gets really sweaty, trying to over-explain herself*])

Aurora on the medical table — …and here I was on the table before the procedure, excited to get it done!

And the way I’m getting flustered now in trying to justify my unpopular opinion, is exactly the way I didn’t want to get with her.

[*Takes a deep breath fighting every instinct that’s pushing me to pipe up and over-explain things to her… Silently sweats it out.*]

So, I let her be slightly taken aback, knowing if she wanted to explore anything more, she would expand on that. I didn’t need to.

Then, we transitioned into an equally awkward topic when she asked about relationships. As you may have noticed on the blog, I try to generally stay away from talk about dates or relationships here.

I just think relationships are very personal (and private). If I were to go on a date with someone, I wouldn’t want them worried they were going to get mentioned in the blog (or anywhere on the internet, for that matter).

I’m absolutely mortified for people when private text messages get put on tumblr (or wherever else), especially when those texts show identifying information. Relationships (of any kind – including friendships) can be so rough, dealing with emotions, and trying to express yourself and everything.

Aurora De Lucia standing at the Happy Hair Station with the girls on the run 5k — …and here I am volunteering at a kid’s event, because I like kids just fine! I just do not want any of my own.

I’ve seen totally sane, normal people come off much less sane when pushed in various situations, and when presented in the right (or I guess wrong) light. While trying to learn how you communicate in your relationships, you shouldn’t have to be worried about being under the world’s microscope. I mean, be kind, people. Right?

I know that’s a total tangent that has nothing to do with kidneys (or really even my social worker interview)… The point is, for a myriad of reasons, I don’t generally talk about relationships on this blog.

Granted, obviously the social worker wasn’t asking me to put anything on tumblr. It was a private interview for a medical file. I’m sure I probably could’ve shared anything… had there really been anything to share…

(Side note: I’m not really sure I could’ve shared anything, as the last time I had a mental health visit for kidney stuff, in the crazy game that that was, the psychologist leaned forward a couple of times saying, “Can you tell me a little more? I won’t put this in your chart.” And wouldn’t you know it, it all winds up in my chart! (Not that I said anything super secret, but the point is she totally lied to me (and often misrepresented what I said anyway.) So, my trust is shaken. And I’m on guard here.)

This is where I’ll pick up next time.

52 Half Marathons Medal Display

January 29, 2015

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 8 (Trying To Say As Little As Possible To The Social Worker)

January 28, 2015

Aurora looking a little tired yet happy in a hosptial gown — Don’t totally remember what appointment this is from… I look maybe tired and a little stressed, but like I’m trying to have fun. So, I’d say this is the tone! 🙂

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

We had a very normal conversation, if you can believe it!

She asked me normal various lifestyle questions that health practitioners often ask – do I drink or use drugs… She asked me a bit about habits and people in my life.

Again, I’d learned to just say as little as possible.

As I’d gotten ready in the morning, I prepped for the day thinking, “Imagine you’re on a witness stand. Don’t offer extraneous information. Only answer what is specifically asked. This is not a friendly conversation. This is a cross-examination.”

(That was basically the advice given by my brilliant father. He said imagine I was in a deposition. But I don’t see as many of those on TV. So, I’m going with something I “know” – or at least know the TV version of.)

I did let my guard down a bit, as I did feel pretty comfortable with the social worker. But I didn’t get crazy.

When she asked if I did volunteer work, I did not mention I was in the midst of 52 volunteer activities in 52 weeks. Even though I think goals are something of which to be proud, I was shown last time that they make you look too obsessive or too whatever. So, I just kept it quiet and said I volunteer a few times a month, citing one example from the previous week.

Even still, she knew who I was! She asked me at some point, “You’re a bit of an overachiever, aren’t you?” Even when I tone my personality down like crazy, and I try not to give too many details about things, I guess you can tell. I am who am I am.

And I love being thought of as an overachiever – whether or not the psychologist in Ohio likes that. (Still talking about her? Bitter much, Aurora?)

So, the social worker here found me out. But she didn’t seem to count it against me. [*Wipes forehead*] Phew.

I thought I was going to make it through scot-free! …But even trying to be as succinct as possible, sometimes I was asked to expand on things if I gave an unusual answer.

Aurora De Lucia volunteering, helping to refurbish a school's library — Just one of those volunteer activities (while we’re talking about ’em… after all, I only have so many kidney photos to go in all these posts! :-P)

The only questions that seemed to trip up my interview were the ones about kids and family.

She asked if I wanted to have kids. I said no. She followed up on that a bit – if I had any desire at all for kids in the deep future. I let her know I’d had a procedure, so now I’m physically incapable of having children. That’s how sure I am.

She seemed taken aback by that. (Did I let some extraneous information slip?! It was related! I just wanted to show I was sure without having to try to say the words “I’m sure” in a different way. [*Sigh.*])

She asked how long I’d known I didn’t want to have kids. I’ve known for as long as I can remember. Having kids has just never been something I wanted.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

Documenting 52 Half Marathons Stuff

January 27, 2015

We’re in the home stretch of finishing up the 52 Half Marathons posts!

Before I took the shirts in for the quilt, or the medals in for the display, we documented everything one last time. (I think it’s nice to have that.)

So, if you’d like to watch a little flipagram of me in all the various shirts, while wearing the medals that came with them, that exists here.

And if you’d like to see all the medals by themselves, photos of them exist here for the normal race medals of the 52 half marathons, here for the bonus medals, and here for other races that year, outside the 52 half marathons.

I’m still pretty certain I don’t use Pinterest correctly. But I didn’t know where else to put pictures of just the medals! The pictures didn’t seem appropriate for Facebook of Flickr (which I view as more places to put pictures with people and of events and things – not albums of inanimate objects)…

So, there you go. They’re on Pinterest. And if you have better ideas (or ideas for more or better Pinterest boards), I’ll take ’em! And if there’s anything else you want to see and haven’t, always let me know! xoxo

NBC4i Columbus – Story On 52 Half Marathons

January 26, 2015

Oh goodness. I have been meaning to wrap up the 52 half marathons stuff all nice and neat in a bow basically forever now. These have been sitting in my drafts for oh so long. Then I started thinking, “maybe I wait for an anniversary of the last race or something.” But no, I say we just take a week or so, dedicate it to these, and get these puppies going. Am I right?

First off, let’s talk about the last news story that was done about my quilt. If the video’s not embedded, then I’m still(!) having problems with the site. (Sorry.) But here’s a link.

(And if you missed the entries about taping the story, you can start them here.)

First off, I wore way too much make-up as I’m sure you can tell. I had someone do my make-up that morning (since I don’t know anything about that, barely ever wearing make-up and all). I told her that my face does not hold a lot of make-up very well.

And even though I work in television, I somehow allowed her to convince me that I needed extra for the camera or that it’d look better. I know you need more under stage lights, but the camera just brought out the fact that I had way too much make-up on. Amateur move, Aurora.

Also, just to clear up a few of the minor inaccuracies:

– I went to high school in Worthington, not Gahanna.
– My last name is spelled De Lucia.
– The story makes it sound as though my first half of the 52 in 52 project was my first half ever, but I’d run one before I found out I had a congenital heart defect (in 2009). I was trying to come back to running, since I knew I loved it – not start it in the first place.

Also, how not genuine does my voice sound during the reveal? That truly was the first time I’d seen it. And I was relieved that I really did think it was beautiful, so no acting was involved.Yet, it sounds as though I was doing some really bad acting.I suppose what I’m saying is, I sort of made the story a bit of a mess, didn’t I? Aye, aye, aye. *Shakes head at self*

Also, at first I kind of got on myself about basically saying the lesson was “attitude is everything.” There are better lessons. My dad even pointed that out, saying I maybe should’ve said basically what I said at The Price is Right wheel, which is “you are what you decide to be.”

However, in the time that’s passed, I must say I have thought about how attitude plays such a humongous part in life. So, maybe it wasn’t the worst answer after all. Ah, who knows. Now that it’s been so long, there’s no need to retread it too much. I know I gotta learn how to give better answers and not get flustered coming up with the “right ones”… but I also gotta always “keep moving forward” (the Walt Disney quote I use all the time).

Anyway, it was very nice of NBC to do the story. And Keepsake Quilts is a rockingly awesome company. While I may have looked amateur in the story, if you thought the quilt looked professional and sweet, you can get your own.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 7 (Blood Pressure Screening & Meeting the Social Worker)

January 25, 2015

Aurora De Lucia messily eating a nacho full of vegan toppings — Messily chowing down on that delicious Native Foods Cafe I talked about in the last post

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

Next, I went to a blood pressure screening. I was so stressed about the day, that my vitals were through the roof! Well, through the roof at least for me.

Unfortunately, I lost the note where I wrote down the results, and I don’t see it in my chart. But I think it was something crazy, like 105/70, with a resting heart rate probably in the 70s.

(Again, so sorry not to have exact numbers here. I can feel my blood pressure shooting up about it now! ;))

Of course I’m totally freaking out when I hear those higher-than-usual numbers. The person taking my blood pressure says it’s all fine.

They did take it basically right as I walked in. So, I had just been walking almost a mile, if that means anything to anyone. And immediately after this, I have my social worker consult! Is there anything more stressful than that?

Anyway, these numbers were extremely distressing. But since I was within the normal limits I had to try to let it go… (It’ll get better the next day. Fret not.)

After the terrifying blood pressure screening, I go to an even more terrifying consult with the social worker. She surprisingly seems very nice!(?)

trying to be calm while getting blood pressure taken... totally not calm — trying to be calm while getting blood pressure taken… totally not calm (p.s. Yes, I am trained in the art of the selfie and know this is a terrible angle. You can only do so much in the moment at the hospital… Cut a girl some slack? :-))

She apologizes for starting late, as there was some kind of room mix-up or something. It was fine with me that she was late. I was there all day anyway. But just the idea that she cared enough to say sorry – I felt that really set the tone in such a nice way.

She’s not starting by playing games with me to agitate me. She’s being kind. (This could be her own special version of playing games, of course, lulling me in. But I was happy that things started better here.)

One thing I was happy to learn from her, that she said she’d learned from a nephrologist, is that if you want to be a non-directed donor, it’s better to say non-directed rather than altruistic.

I’d gotten used to saying altruistic, since I hear that all the time. But she made a great point that it’s not really altruistic, in that you get something out of it.

You feel good giving a kidney. So, it’s better to use the term non-directed. (And she didn’t even say it in a judge-y way in the least. She was just being helpful. Oh, how I enjoyed her.)

And we’ll talk all about our conversation next time.

Trip To Ohio (To Wrap Up The 52 Half Marathons) – Part 2 (Hanging with High School Buds – What What)

January 22, 2015

Picking up from yesterday –

2) – David

And I got to see David! (You may remember him from this race). I adore him. I’m very well aware that I adore him, so it blows my mind when I see him and realize I somehow adore him even more than I do in my head!

He was just as kind and sweet as ever. When it was snowing, he insisted I jump in the car to be warm while he wiped off the windows.

When we spent the day together, he looked up some cool place I’d never been to for brunch then we took a nice long walk and explored this book store he loved that I’d never been to. And I loved the he put thought into the day and thought about things I’d like to do.

He’s just so lovely and polite and precious and wonderful (and brilliant). And I’ll forever be grateful he’s in my life. (And perhaps he even seems all that much better ’cause I’m getting way too used to Los Angeles people!)

3) – Trivia!

David and Aurora taking a second selfie in the driveway — I had no photos of trivia, but two with David. I couldn’t decide which one I liked better, so I put ’em both up!

It felt like high school. Randomly, a number of us all happened to be visiting over the same little time period in January. As so often happens, I was last in and first out. However, I still overlapped with people. So we went and did something we love – bar trivia. We came close to winning, but alas never did. I wanted to continue to stay in Ohio until we got the title!

But you know, I had to go be a grown up and work and all that other lame responsible stuff. (It didn’t matter too terribly much anyway ’cause a short 2 or so weeks after I left, the group started breaking up as David went back to DC.)

It’s always better to be left wanting more. You can certainly have too much of a good thing. So, I think I left at just the right time, and I had such a lovely time. And I hope maybe a bar trivia rematch can happen for us all sometime.

Tomorrow we’ll get into the actual (possibly) interesting stuff for you – the final posts (finally!) on the 52 half marathons.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 6 (The Donor Education Meeting)

January 21, 2015

Aurora De Lucia looking around for a donor education session — The beautiful building where we had our donor education session

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

At the education session, I felt like a fool. (That kind of seems to be a running theme of the day, huh?)

They were showing a PowerPoint presentation, and I took pictures of some of the slides. However, I later realized when I looked in the folder they’d given me that the whole PowerPoint presentation was in there, printed out for us!

I can only imagine how foolish I looked to everyone else who realized we already had the whole presentation. Eeesh.

There’s really nothing new to say here as far as basic kidney donation information’s concerned. This session covered the same stuff OSU did. The only thing that was different was that you spend less time in the hospital at UCLA. At OSU, it’s approximately 4 nights. At UCLA, it’s 1. But at UCLA, they do offer you a room in a hospital-affiliated hotel, free of charge, for 2 additional nights.

I didn’t ask any questions in the meeting. I learned last time to just keep my mouth shut whenever possible.

Though, I did ask one question at the end [*shakes head at self*].

When I’d originally filled out my questionnaire at home, I remembered I answered all the easy yes or no questions first… I thought I left a couple of blanks in questions that required actual answers (“How fast can you run a mile?” etc.), with the intention to go back and fill them in. But I didn’t remember if I’d actually done that.

We turned in the questionnaires right as we walked in. I did flip through mine before I handed it in, but I didn’t look closely. And there was something mentioned in the meeting (about exercising or breathing or something), that triggered a little gasp in my brain. “Did I ever go back an answer those questions?! I don’t want them to think I’m avoiding those questions. Why didn’t I just fill out the whole thing in order?!”

So, I asked after the meeting. They did find my questionnaire and it seemed to be all filled out. But I just felt like when I asked, I asked in a pretty nervous way. I’m hoping it wasn’t all that bad, but with the stress and the not sleeping, I just imagined myself as a total crazy person frantically asking about my questionnaire. Aye, aye, aye.

There was a little time between the education session and my next appointment. So, on the way back, I stopped at this really cool place – Native Food Cafe (which is now one of my favorite restaurants (that happens to be all-vegan)). Yay for trying new things!

Of course, at the time, I was a little too nervous to really eat. So, I grabbed a bite or two and saved the rest for later. (Mmmm, and later it was quite yummy. Spoiler alert: I think part of that deliciousness was the satisfaction of a great interview. But we’ll get to that soon enough!)

Next up was the blood pressure screening, which I’ll get to next time.

Trip To Ohio (To Wrap Up The 52 Half Marathons) – Part 1 (B and Her New iPhone)

January 20, 2015

Aurora and B taking a selfie at the Verizon store — while waiting at Verizon for her phone to be activated

Almost a year ago, I went to Ohio to get all my t-shirts from my 52 half marathons made into a quilt, and get my medal display and all of that.

I wrote about some of it, and some of it has lived in my drafts folder forever!

This is also the 2-year anniversary of finishing that last bonus race in the 52 half marathons series. (2 years!) So, it’s time to finally finish out the rest of these posts.

While I was working on the final loose ends of the 52 half marathons project, I realized in the talk of quilts and news stories and things, I completely skipped over my actual trip to Ohio – my magical trip!

(By the way, this may be more of a thing that belongs in a diary, rather than a “isn’t this so fun and interesting to people who don’t know me” thing. So if you don’t want to read about these people you don’t know, I hope to see you soon!)

Basically, there were three main highlights of this awesome trip (aside from seeing my Daddy, which you can always assume is a highlight – but you know, he’s Daddy. So he kind of goes without mentioning… even though I did just mention him here… and aside from Planet Smoothie which is always necessary and one of the greatest things on Earth).

1) – B

I got to see my amazing, spectacular, just beyond words mentor and theater teacher. (You’ve heard about her many time on the blog. I refer to her here on this blog as B. I had a whole thing about her transition (not retirement!) party.

Not only did I see her, but I was with her to help her set up and use her first iPhone! And, not only did she get her first iPhone – she has my actual iPhone! She thought she was eligible for an upgrade, but due to reasons not really worth getting into here, she didn’t actually have one available.

However, I finally upgraded from a 4 to a shiny new beautiful, breathtaking 5s. (You can tell how long this post has been drafted, since I was happily talking about the 5s!)

So, since I had this extra physical phone no longer needed, she took mine! My love of Apple products, and my love for her all coming together into this day of fun was so special and fun! And now we text – with emojis even! So, I was pretty stoked to be a part of that.

And I’ll pick up with the last of the Ohio trip tomorrow.

So, What Was It Like To Take My First Class at Harvard Extension? Part 2 (Going Into The Final)

January 19, 2015

Picking up from last time –

Going into the final, we got an overview of how we were doing. I didn’t totally know what to expect. Part of our grade was on class participation, and what we added to the discussion board.

I wondered if my thoughts were smart enough for this scary Harvard class, but sure enough, I got full points for class discussion! I was in a good place going into the final, only having missed one available point until then (from the midterm). The final was weighted at 50%, so it was pretty important that I do well.

One thing that was nice was that we didn’t learn anything new after somewhere around Thanksgiving! And we didn’t take the test until December 18th (or 19th). So, almost a month was spent just prepping for the final!

In some cases, I could’ve seen this maybe being annoying to some people… If they’d been super on top of all of it, and they were ready to rock the final right then, they might be worried about losing stuff.

For me, I cherished the time to re-read things I’d read hastily, or articles I’d missed. I always read enough to write on the discussion board, but I’ll admit that sometimes an article or two was missed with you know, general life craziness. (Oof! Shhh, don’t tell anyone.)

It also helped that I didn’t have to work at all during the final week before the final exam! I re-watched lectures, wrote out more concise notes from the notes I’d already been taking through the year.

Our TAs offered three different review sessions. In the session, they basically said to be prepared to talk about anything from the semester. So, I reviewed and reviewed.

There were some pros and some cons to being so far away from where class was actually happening. One pro was that I got a 24-hour period to take my exam (anywhere in a 24-hour period from 6pm Eastern on the 18th – 19th). I liked having a bit of freedom, as opposed to having to take the test at 6pm at Harvard.

However, I’m a person who generally is better and more alert in the later hours. So, a 6pm test would’ve probably been pretty rad.

Also, there was talk about the class going out together to meet each other and discuss everything we’d learned after the test. So, it was sort of a bummer to miss out on that.

Plus, the people who take the test in person get their tests graded quicker. You win some, you lose some, I suppose.

There was one more small advantage to being on the other side of the country, though. And I will get to it next time.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 5 (The X-Ray, and Getting to the Education Session)

January 18, 2015

Aurora holding her breath in a hosptial gown — Take a big breath and hold it… (instructions during the chest x-ray)

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

I wore a dress to Big Kidney Day, complete with a belt and a little half sweater thing (aka an outfit totally inconvenient to get in and out of with multiple layers, plus a buckle, and a back zipper, and all that jazz).

I wanted to look oh so normal and whatever. (Since the psychologist had specifically mentioned my outfit in my 1st attempt at OSU, I wanted to make sure nothing so simple worked against me this time.)

The first thing up for the day was a chest x-ray.

(A fasting blood draw would’ve been first. But I’d saved myself a precious morning half hour by getting the blood draw when I turned in my 24-hour urine collection over a weekend. So, I got to start at 8:30am instead of 8am. Awwww, yeah! What a nice little treat. (Though since I wasn’t really sleeping well, that didn’t matter quite as much as it usually would have. Still nice, though!))

As I got ready for the x-ray, and was taking off the belt on my dress, I was quietly feeling resentful that I felt so pressured into dressing up for this day. I also felt like a complete and total fool, because who wears a dress with various parts to this kind of day at a hospital? I feel like instead of saying, “I’m put together,” it more said, “I don’t understand what various occasions call for. I should be in jeans and a t-shirt right now. But no, I’m overdoing it.”

And maybe I was overdoing it. Just because the psychologist at OSU said it was abnormal to wear pajamas, she didn’t say I couldn’t have kept it casual. Maybe jeans were the way to go. Oh well. The dress was fine. Everything was fine. We all lived to see another day.

Aurora's arm as she has blood drawn — From my fasting blood draw

My chest x-ray was just a normal x-ray run by some more nice people. “Take a deep breath. And hold it. Turn this way. Turn that way.” etc.

It was over before you knew it, and then it was on to the coordinator education session.

The packets that had been mailed to us included bus options on how to get over to the education session. However, it was less than a mile away. So I just enjoyed a lovely walk.

In fact, that was the only feedback I gave when they asked us to fill out a form on how to make that part of the day better. I said I’d like it if the default instructions said to walk, but that if you needed a bus you could take this one – instead of just saying, “take this bus.”

It’s a small thing. And everybody got there. And we’re grown-ups, completely capable of looking up how to get places. Still, they really wanted to know any ways in which they could improve. And I thought that small one might be nice – to always encourage the option that helps us get more steps in our day.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 4 (No Sleep Before Big Kidney Day)

January 14, 2015

Aurora De Lucia trying on dresses to wear to the Creative Arts Emmys — I only have so many kidney photos. So, here I am trying on some dresses (as I mention in the post).

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

I got so nervous for Big Kidney Day! I had no idea how it would affect me until it got close.

Granted, there was some other very mildly stressful stuff happening that week (choosing my Emmys dress (and not understanding how to shop at my new smaller (yet not really small) size), winding down my job and looking for a new one, etc.).

There was nothing that was any real problem, or anything to actually stress about. (I have 5 or so jobs a year, so what’s another change? They’re always changing. Get over it, Aurora.) It was all tiny stuff too. (Why would I waste any energy being stressed about a dress? It’s a dress!)

Basically, I think with the kidney thing looming, everything else in life looked bigger than it actually was… It was just an overwhelming day in general, ’cause I just wanted everything to go right. I knew if I screwed up again, if I didn’t say the right things in the interview, then I would be the reason someone died.

Yes, that sounds dramatic, but it’s kind of true.

I barely slept – maybe for an hour or two, in total, with lots of tossing and turning and waking up in between.

I stayed at a friend’s house in Santa Monica so I’d be closer to the hospital (and wouldn’t have to get up quite so early). I thought that was a great decision, but it ended up being dumb – though I don’t think there was any way for me to know that ahead of time.

Aurora De Lucia playing pool in the break room at work — Just hanging out in the fabulous break room at work. This was my life. This, plus fun grown-up dress up parties, and tests at a cool hospital (that was nothing like the last one). How could I have found stress in this? Aye, aye, aye, Aurora.

My friend had recently had a few really stressful days of his own. And I fed off his stress. I don’t want it to sound like I’m blaming him, ’cause I’m not. People should be allowed to have their stresses, and I certainly had mine!

I can’t blame anyone else’s attitude on how I choose to be. Even still, whether it was healthy or right, I think we were feeding off each other’s stress, which wasn’t good for either of us… Basically, it was a mess of a night.

And I didn’t realize how much I was going to wish I were at home. When I woke up in the middle of the night, all I wanted to do was work out. But I couldn’t just run down to the gym in my building – since I wasn’t there.

I did put on my running shoes. I even went out as though I was going to jog around the neighborhood. Once I got outside, I came almost right back in, as I was too afraid to jog at 3am.

I’ll run around downtown, or any awesomely building-ful place any time of night. But a neighborhood? That’s where dogs may be hanging in anyone’s yards, ready to bite your face off.

So, I felt a little trapped, went back in the house, and tried to get back to sleep – all night – until the morning came. So much for sleep. Oh well, it’s not like I have an interview that decides someone’s fate today. Oh wait…

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 3 (Prepping For Big Kidney Day)

January 11, 2015

Aurora holding a big clear jug of urine by her face, looking off to the side — Oh, don’t mind me… I’m just bringing in a big jug o’ urine (from the 24 hour collection)

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

On June 19th (2014), almost a year exactly (one week shy) of when I’d been initially rejected, UCLA confirmed they got the fax records from Dr. Doshi’s office.

We could now officially start the process! …After I was approved to start.

My kidney donor coordinator said she’d need to present my case at the weekly donor selection committee meeting. (I didn’t realize we got submitted to committee at the beginning as well as the end.) Anyway, the committee said proceed!

At OSU, I had to do tons of tests leading up to Big Kidney Day. At UCLA, Big Kidney Day was basically next on the docket! (Though there were some tests we’ll talk about in a sec.)

Also, Big Kidney Day was split into two days here. (I think it’s just ’cause there’s so much, and that makes scheduling more manageable.) You also get actual appointment times with each person you’re meeting.

At OSU, all patients were put in exam rooms at a donor center. The specialists rotated, coming around to us. At UCLA, we went to the various specialists around the hospital.

I don’t know that either way is necessarily better (from where I’m standing). Of course I’m leaning toward UCLA’s way, because I loved my experience there. So, my judgement is clouded by that.

Think before you speak sign — In the UCLA lab, I saw this lovely sign that I don’t always necessarily follow, but I probably should!

As I mentioned, there were a couple of simple things to do before Big Kidney Day. I needed to do one 24-hour urine collection. Thankfully, the UCLA lab was open on weekends, which made any lab work very easy to do without affecting work.

Also, UCLA would need a copy of my most recent pap smear from my gynecologist (though that didn’t have to be in before Big Kidney Day, just sometime reasonably close to it).

I also needed to fill out a couple of questionnaires I’d been sent about my health and habits.

So I guess, listing the stuff out, there really were a few things to do. Nonetheless, they all still seemed pretty small in comparison to the multiple trips to the lab for various blood draws, plus the three 24-hour urine collections (and the whole flying to Ohio thing) for OSU’s Big Kidney Day prep.

So, I peed in a container, filled out my questionnaires, and got half days approved at work (two days in a row! whoa) for the 2-part Big Kidney Day at UCLA.

And this is where we’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 2 (Getting My Cardiologist’s Approval – Then, The Echocardiogram)

January 7, 2015

Aurora De Lucia smiling as she watches her echocardiogram — (watching my echocardiogram)

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time –

Dr. Doshi led me out to the person who schedules the appointments. I asked if since I was already there, if there was any way I could just do the echo then. But they didn’t have room in the day.

Plus, it’s something that has to be cleared with your insurance before it’s done. So the answer was no, I couldn’t get it done then.

I was surprised to learn, however, that they had time available the very next day. I kind of wanted to wait until I could get another 8am appointment, since it’s easier to go before work.

However, I have no patience and was so over waiting for anything that would make this kidney process go any longer than it’s already going.

So, I took the lunchtime appointment the next day, and skipped my usual lunchtime workout in favor of going to the doctor and rocking that echocardiogram.

The person who performed my echo is one of my new favorite medical professionals. Her name is Courtney, and I totally want to be her best friend because she is absolutely lovely!

She greeted me with a huge smile. Positivity radiated from her. The day became better being in the room with her. If you ever need an echo, she’s your girl. She’ll make the experience so easy, and brighten your day in the process.

Aurora's heart on an ultrasound monitor — my beautiful little heart

I even asked if I could take a little video with my phone of my heart beating, and she was all, “Oh, of course! That’s so fun!”

I know I’m kind of rambling, but I’m not totally able to put her energy into words (’cause it was sweet and kind and awesome).

My echo was dope (as I’m sure we all assumed my cute little fighter heart would make it). My heart rate stayed in the 40s during the test. [*Dance music plays*]

After I’d gone back to work, I got a call from Dr. Doshi’s office saying he looked at the echo and it looked wonderful. He’d be happy to officially write my letter!

And this is where we’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 1 (Getting My Cardiologist’s Approval – First The EKG)

January 4, 2015

In case you missed it, there’s already a 55-part(!) story about trying to give a kidney at a different hospital.

You can read it in all its glory here. Or you can get the recap here. Or you can just read on since this is the beginning of a new story at a new hospital. (Yay!)

I faxed over the initial forms to UCLA. They called me saying they’d be happy to start the process – if I could first get them a letter from my cardiologist.

Thankfully, I knew this wouldn’t be a problem.

Back when I was getting my tests done at OSU, and there was that extremely mild EKG scare (in which it maybe didn’t look 100% normal); I called my awesome, amazing, wonderful, fabulous electrocardiologist in Boston to ask if he’d look at my EKG.

He was happy to, ’cause he’s such a nice guy (and a spectacular doctor). But he also suggested it was finally time to get a California cardiologist (and he was right, considering I’d been living here on and off for about 2 years at the time).

So, he referred me to Dr. Doshi (whom he’d known since medical school). Sweetest of all he said, “He’s the person to whom I’d refer my own family – and at this point, I feel like that’s basically what you are.” (Awwww.)

Dr. Doshi did not disappoint. He’s amazing. When he reviewed my EKG with me during the OSU testing time, he said my heart looked completely fine – and he’d even write a letter to that effect if need be. Since he’d offered about a year earlier, I figured he’d do it for me now. (Spoiler alert: he did.)

Aurora looking to the side in a hosptial gown at the doctor's office Since it had been over a year, he wanted to see me before he wrote the letter (a very reasonable request).

The visit was lovely. He started by telling me he’d just talked to Dr. Milan that morning, and that Dr. Milan had been saying such nice things such as, “Isn’t she an exceptional girl?” (Awwww.)

[Not to be super bitter or anything, but take that, haters from OSU. The doctor who went through all the heart stuff with me thinks I’m exceptional – not lame for being a free spirit, but awesome for being unique and different and special. Ba-bam!]

Dr. Doshi happily read the EKG taken that day. My resting heart rate was still below 60 (which is where the normal range starts – and like most things in life, I always want to stay out of the range of normal ;)).

My heart looked wonderful as far as Dr. Doshi was concerned. He was ready to write the letter… as long as I got an echocardiogram first – just to be completely sure.

And this is where we’ll pick up next time.

Annual Daddy/Daughter Pacers Game (2014/2015 Season)

December 30, 2014

So, it’s the end of 2014. Can you believe we started doing this in the 90s?!

My dad and I were both practically babies back then!

And here we are as grown ups still going to see the Pacers play in a different arena every year. This year, we went to Denver!

The game was pretty interesting, with a close score the whole time. With 0.6 seconds left on the clock, Pacers were down three and got to inbound the ball. A pass was made, a 3-point shot was taken. We all held our breath… And the basket was missed. Wah wah.

Still, we had a grand time. Not only did we see the Pacers play, we also visited Red Rock Amphitheatre, even doing the Trading Post Trail. It was beautiful, and lovely spending some active time in nature with Daddy.

We ate so many plates of incredible vegetables. (I talked about the eating yesterday.)

Surprisingly there was hardly any snow! My ideas of what Denver looks like in December were totally wrong.

‘Twas a fabulous day with a fabulous dad, and I can’t wait for next year!

p.s. I didn’t want to call out my dad too much on the blog. But he complained a bit during the hiking… And this was a video he took of me at the end that I thought was kind of funny. 🙂

Daddy asking Aurora questions after the hike

(#44) Flat Stanley – Part 4 (Writing and Mailing the Letter)

December 21, 2014

Flat Stanley and the Jacksons - Randy Jr., Donte, Jaafar, and Jermajesty — Flat Stanley chillin’ out with Michael Jackson’s nephews

Picking up from last time –

I got a text from the teacher of the class just asking me how I was doing, and if I’d be sending Flat Stanley back soon. I profusely apologized and said yes, I’d do it that night.

It was kind of funny because I profusely apologized. Then she was so patient, saying, “No need to apologize! You’re doing the favor for me. I really appreciate it.”

To which I said, “No, no, no. I’m honored to be asked. And I should’ve been able to follow the instructions – including the due date.”

And it was all this back and forth of basically, “You’re awesome.” “No you are.”

That night, I wrote out my letter, and put it in the mail (along with Flat Stanley, of course).

And I took a picture of me putting the envelope in the mail, and texted it to the teacher. (Not like she doubted me, but still. She could be sure it went out!)

I loved writing the letter! (You think I would’ve done it sooner, since I enjoyed it. Eesh.)

In general, I love writing letters. I love the feeling of doing some handwritten things. I like cute stationery and cute stamps. I love getting and receiving physical mail. Letters are awesome. So, I loved this part.

It was sort of funny to me how often I stopped and started, trying to phrase things differently. I wrote the letter as flat Stanley. But how does he talk? I’m sure many people have written in his voice. I wonder if we somehow, together, make a coherent boy.

I realized I knew nothing about Flat Stanley’s travel history. I’d start to say, “I’ve never done this” before (maybe because for instance, I – Aurora – had never been striking). But maybe Flat Stanley had!

So, I had to just say things were great, and skip saying if anything was new. I’d say things like, “I don’t often think about how many people it takes to put on a show,” instead of, “I’ve never thought about that before.”

I hoped they liked me letter… And later, I got to find out!

I got a very sweet envelope in the mail full of thank you cards and photos. The kids called me “Ms. Aurora.” I always think that whole proper-sounding title before a first name that kids do is so adorable.

I asked the teacher if it was okay that I talked about Flat Stanley going on strike. She said it was great and gave them an opportunity to talk about what a strike is. (I knew I should never underestimate children! So, I felt great in my decision to include that after all.)

The funniest part to me was that a bunch of the thank you cards mentioned Flat Stanley getting a pedicure!

I was so nervous about impressing the kids. I tried to take Flat Stanley to a bunch of cool events. And in the end, they were excited that he got a pedicure. I almost didn’t even throw that in, thinking they’d think it was boring!

I guess you never know what people will like – and I think I especially don’t know what’s gonna impress a kid.

Anyway, yay Flat Stanley! It was a really neat experience to get that thank you card packet. In the photos, I could see the wonder in the kids’ faces, and I’d really felt like I’d contributed something. High five!

(#44) Flat Stanley – Part 3 (Oof. Procrastinating (Sorry!))

December 20, 2014

Flat Stanley outside a sign for Charlotte's Web at South Coast Repertory — Here’s Flat Stanley before one of our rehearsals

Picking up from last time –

I was talking about being a bit of a procrastinator.

I don’t want to go too nuts trying to evaluate why, in a post about an unrelated activity. Nonetheless, I do want to work through these thoughts a little…

I know procrastination is such an L.A. thing. I recognize there are bad habits people get into in L.A. (e.g. being constantly late, always being “too busy” for people, and more) that I notice myself slipping into sometimes!

And I don’t know why! Is there something about the city that makes us this way? Do you just start to become like the people who surround you? I don’t know…

I will say in the world of freelance, my schedule is practically constantly changing. Because of that, I often wait ’til the last minute to make any plans. And actually oftentimes, that behooves me. But even if procrastination is in some ways good in my life, I need to learn how to turn that on and off, I guess.

Also, I could understand procrastinating on things you maybe don’t want to do. But this is something I wanted to do! I was happy to be asked to do this, and thought it was a really fun thing.

I could also understand being late with stuff if you overbooked yourself. But did I really have that much going on, that I couldn’t write a letter? I think not. During tech week I stayed in a hotel (since the theater was oh so far from my house).

I brought stationery with me so I could write and send the letter while I was down there! But did I? No. Sure, I was tired. But too tired to write a letter? Psh. I was only working 13 or so hours a day. I should’ve made time for it. I didn’t. And I have no real excuse as to why I didn’t. So, I feel really bad about that.

Basically, this is just something I want to make a mental note of so I can keep an eye on this kind of behavior. I want to be punctual. (More than punctual – I want to be early.) I want to be reliable. I want to be great.

And I think people generally think I’m reliable… but I want to be better (always better).

The one thing that does give me some solace is I know that many times when people have projects such as this, they give a due date that’s flexible. I know when I was my thespian troupe’s president, I always asked people to turn things in at least a week before they were actually due.

That way, when people came to me and said, “I’m soooo sorry; Can I please have more time?” (which invariably always happened), I could say, “okay. You can have a 3-day extension (and then I could give them another one if need be).

So, plenty of people in the world are procrastinators. That much I know. And to compensate for that, many people leave extra time and space for things like this. So, I just have to hope she did…

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

Applauding Stephen Colbert

December 18, 2014

Stephen Colbert on his show, sitting at his desk with the Statue of Liberty in the background — Image Credit: Comedy Central/Busboy Productions

I know that I have a million things to talk about.

…I’m a few volunteer activities behind. I’ve been on a vegetarian challenge for about 4 and a half months, and I have some things to say about that. I’ve lost close to 70 pounds from my heaviest weight, and some people want to hear about that.

Heck, I still have some 52 half marathons posts (about a news story from a year ago, plus my medal display, and some other wrapping up thoughts) that are still in my drafts folder!

So, I know it might seem silly. What are we doing talking about some television show when the blog is sort of supposed to be about my life, and I have plenty of life stuff to talk about?

Well, I know it might be exceptionally hard to believe, but I actually get tired of talking about myself sometimes! (I know! can you even fathom that?) Also, I loooooove television. I work in television. Some times I want to talk about TV! And I couldn’t let tonight go by without saying something about the end to the Colbert Report. (Awwwwww. The end – so sad.)

Let’s talk about Stephen Colbert for a sec. Here are just some of his incredible accomplishments. He’s an author who landed a book on the New York Times Best Seller List. He’s been by Time Magazine as one of the 100 Most Influential People – more than once. He made up a word that got added to the dictionary. He’s halfway to an EGOT (with multiple Grammys and Emmys). He also has 2 Peabody awards. Heck, he even has a Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavor named after him. Not to mention he’s raised an incredible amount of money for charities he believes in. And he’s inspired a generation to know more about politics. Look at how he’s changed the world.

He is exceptional.

If you watch interviews of him when he’s not being his character, you see how incredibly smart and kind he is. And when you see him in character, you can’t help but marvel at what an incredible actor he is!

To me, Stephen Colbert is sort of the quintessential jack of all trades. Sometimes my interests seem a little broad. And if I start to wonder if it’s possible to do so many things… look at Stephen Colbert! He has a treadmill on the International Space Station named after him! He has 4 different species named after him as well. He was the assistant sports psychologist for the US Olympic speed skating team!

He is constantly proving to us that anything is possible.

Aaaaand, not only that. But he started his show in his 40s! In Hollywood, the message that’s often put out is that if you haven’t done something by 24, it’s over. You’ve expired. I do understand that he’s a white man… which does make things slightly easier for him. (I also realize that as a white woman I still speak from a place of some privilege that some people don’t have… even if I do not get to enjoy the privilege that males get.)

Nonetheless, the point is, he kept plugging away. He continues to show us all the time that anything is possible. He is all over the internet right now! Everyone is talking about him. And he deserves it.

I hope he’s enjoying every moment of his time smack in the middle of the spotlight as the belle of the ball. And I hope it’s just one of many he’ll enjoy in life. Thanks, Stephen Colbert, for so many years of laughter and inspiration. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you!

(#44) Flat Stanley – Part 2 (Some Good and Bad)

December 17, 2014

Flat Stanley wearing some race medals — Flat Stanley after the Spartan Trifecta in a day

Picking up from last time –

I didn’t have super specific goals with what I’d take Flat Stanley to do – as he mainly just came along on my life.

However, in the end, it seemed as though he got to experience a wide variety of things, which I thought was pretty awesome.

One thing I liked, that I didn’t even do on purpose, was that hopefully I introduced the kids in the class to things they may not have known about, or thought about, before.

Even if we taking striking out of it (since I honestly don’t know whether that’s appropriate for an elementary school audience), there was a rehearsal of a show – where we talked about what happened backstage, since so many different people go into making show happen. (I thought that speaks to teamwork, and how helping with things can be valuable – even when you’re not seen helping.)

We also gave blood. I know they’re too young to do it, but it might be nice to learn about it. Maybe they’ll remember and do it when they’re older!

We also did an obstacle course ultramarathon, which is nice and healthy. So, that felt great.

And we did a couple of extra silly things, so it’s not all stuff that can be used to possible teach some kind of lesson.

Aurora posing with her medals from the Spartan trifecta-in-a-day — …and here I am with the medals

So, I was pretty happy with how it worked out!

The only thing I wasn’t very happy about was that I sent back Flat Stanley later than I wanted.

The letter gave me a date, and asked me to try to send him back by then… And I didn’t send him back by then.

I thought there was a photo printing place by my apartment, and when I went looking for it, it turned out it had closed. There wasn’t one I could find anywhere close to me. So, it seemed easier to order them online. Fair enough, that shouldn’t take that long, right?

Then, by the time I got the photos, I was kind of distracted with the play I was working on amping up. Even still, even during tech week, I was working far (far!) fewer hours than I do in television. I should’ve had the time to write a simple letter and put it in the mail…

I feel like I’ve kind of been noticing… while keeping this blog (which I think helps to give me some sort of reflection on who I am/who I’m becoming, as it helps me to see things over time – being that it’s all written down)… that in some ways, I think I might be becoming a bit more of a procrastinator… And I’m unsure why.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

(#44) Flat Stanley – Part 1 (What We Did)

December 16, 2014

Flat Stanley standing by the Batmobile — Flat Stanley at the Batmobile

Someone from one of my 52 half marathons and I still keep up with each other. She’s a total sweetheart, and I’m always happy to hear from her!

She texted me one day, asking if I’d be willing to do this Flat Stanley thing for her class. Basically, the class has this little cardboard figure, Flat Stanley, and they send him all around to different places so he can have adventures!

I thought it sounded really fun. I was totally up for bringing him places.

I was a little nervous that the stuff I did wouldn’t quite be interesting enough, but I just had to hope for the best.

When I originally agreed to participate, I didn’t even think of it as counting as one of my volunteer activities. I wanted to do it just because. But later, I thought about the fact that it could probably suffice as one. So, boom! I’m counting it.

When Flat Stanley got here, I was going to strike with IATSE Local 700 to try to unionize Shahs of Sunset. I took him with me! I told the teacher when she gets the letter that if striking is too much of a political issue, or hard of a concept for elementary schoolers that of course she’s welcome to just cut that part out of the letter (and throw out that photo).

Aurora De Lucia sitting in the Batmobile, talking on the Bat Phone — …and here I am at the Batmobile

But I included it because I don’t want to underestimate the elementary schoolers. I’m sure they’re very smart! Who knows what they’re capable of understanding.

I also took Flat Stanley to meet the Jacksons (since I was working on Living with the Jacksons at the time).

Flat Stanley and I also took a trip to the Batmobile! (I mean, when you’re in California, why not do cool stuff?)

Flat Stanley flew to Ohio with me for my first ultramarathon.

I felt a little weird about taking him to Ohio, since he was supposed to be exploring California. However, I hoped that maybe that would just mean he got a bonus place out of it, since he was trying to do so much traveling.

We got pedicures (for our tired feet from all our striking and running). We gave blood. And we went to play practice when I started my new job.

And this is where we’ll pick up tomorrow.

Inaugural Disney’s Avenger’s Half Marathon (November 16, 2014) – Part 2 (Some Other Details)

December 15, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I wanted to just throw in a few more details. For one thing, there were a number of great signs. Some of the signs were from the custodial team, and I thought it was pretty funny, because one said, “3rd shift custodial thanks you!”

I wondered, “What are you thanking me for? Is this a secret way to try to get me to be extra good about not leaving any trash on the ground?”

If that’s what the custodial team was after, with various encouraging signs throughout the course, well they succeeded. Having those reminders (couched in positive ways) really made me want to be extra aware of any mess I was leaving.

I mean, I still laughed how it might be a slightly passive aggressive tactic. I was aware I might be being slightly manipulated. But I also impressed. (It’s also possible that it was done purely out of sweetness, happiness, and magic in their hearts.) Either way, I give them props.

One spectator sign I loved said “You look MARVELous.” How great is that, right? Another great one was “Humpty Dumpty had wall issues too”

The race was pretty windy. Many mile markers fell down. At mile 12, there was a worker standing there saying only a little over a mile to go. Someone asked where mile marker 12 was, and the worker exclaimed “I’m it!” – which I thought was funny.

A piece fell off one of the mile markers, so a bunch of us kept running over to the side to pose with it.

One last detail that stuck out to me was that as I was coming into the finish, Gangnam Style was playing over the speakers. And I laughed and laughed as I ran. That had seemed to be the song of the Goofy Challenge weekend in 2013.

Aurora De Lucia stretching in her corral before the inaugural Disney's Avenger's Half Marathon 2014 — (stretching from the morning, in a Black Widow inspired stretch)

No matter where my dad and I went that weekend, it seemed to always be playing. So, when it played here, I could help imagine how much my dad would be cracking up if he were there and saw me running in to apparently the anthem of Disney racing.

After the race, as I looked through some instagram photos, I learned of two different people who were doing every single Disney race in a year!

As far as I can tell, unfortunately neither of them kept blogs. But you can see their instagrams at @ubermar and @gotfirth.

What an interesting yearly goal! I bet it was really fun…

But goodness, I bet it was expensive! Flying back and forth multiple times, staying close to Disney on fully booked weekends, and those entry fees!

Hats off to those people such a feat. (And if either of you read this, please keep a blog next time. I want to read about what an adventure that must have been!)

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 55 (A Recap Thus Far)

December 14, 2014

I feel like it’s possible this story may have gotten a bit confusing because parts of it were happening in 2012 and I was talking about it in 2014 and blah, blah, blah. Let’s just lay it out clearly so we all know what’s up.

December 2010 – I learned about the possibility of becoming a living kidney donor, and I really wanted to it. However, when I called (I think a NY hospital, since that’s where I was living at the time) and asked about it, I was told I needed to wait at least a year (maybe two) after my open-heart surgery (from March 2010) before I’d be cleared.

November/December 2012 – I’m a lot more fit and stable. Things are good. Time has passed. Some weight’s been lost. Finances are in order (way more than they were in 2010). I think I’m ready for this kidney stuff. So, I go on MatchingDonors.org, thinking I have to start that way. I find a person at an Ohio hospital and begin getting testing done.

(I picked a hospital far away from my home because that guy seemed like an absolutely incredible person, and my parents and many friends live in Ohio. And I am always desperate for a break from L.A. So, why not?)

December 2012 – March 2013 – I get tested for the wonderful guy I saw on Matching Donors. Unfortunately, we’re not a match. I am grateful to learn I actually don’t have to pick a person. I can be an non-directed donor. So, I decide to move forward with that. I have that horrible interview with the psychologist.

March 2013 – June 26, 2013 – Mandatory 3-month cooling off period so the hospital could be absolutely sure I want to donate. I get rejected (for what I consider to be very flimsy reasons – whether you agree with them, we can at least all agree they were not medical reasons).

June – October 2013 – I know that in order to just have my paperwork looked at by Cedars-Sinai, I need to lose something like 25ish pounds (perhaps a little less or more kind of depending on what day you weighed me – and how tall you think I am, since even that seems to change by an inch or so between different doctors… I guess must stand taller sometimes than others).

I said I wanted to lose the weight… However, at the time, I was working a hard job with a really long commute and I just couldn’t (or at least I didn’t) get it together. I know. Excuses, excuses. It’s horrible.
(I’m so sorry.)

October 2013 – January 2014 – I work really hard and start melting pounds. (My next gig had a wonderful schedule and extremely easy commute. So things basically couldn’t have been easier for me.)

In December, I think I might still be a pound or two away, but feel comfortable sending in the form, since they said it’d take a few weeks to process – ooh, a real nail-biter of will I be skinny enough? Well, it ends up not mattering either way, because on paperwork alone I get rejected by the surgeon who says he’s conservative and doesn’t want to work on someone who once had a heart issue. They say I could possibly give a kidney somewhere else – just not with them.

February 2014 – April 2014 – Not really a lot happens here. I’m starting to get discouraged (though of course I’ll never give up). I continue losing a bit more weight, giving myself a nice safe distance from the cutoff. I didn’t have any good reason for waiting to turn in my forms. I just kind of wondered if I had the time to start re-testing… and at UCLA you have to fax them. Blech. Faxing. Basically excuses, excuses all over again since faxing isn’t truly all that hard, and no one’s all that busy.
(Again, sorry.)

May 2014 – Get settled at a perfect new job (which helps make it a whole lot easier for me to focus on life and passions since my work life was so lovely). Can’t stand to wait any longer to get this kidney stuff rolling, ’cause there’s really no reason for me to be paused on it. So, I fax my form to UCLA (finally!).

And this is where we’ll pick up next time!

(Note: Since it’s getting to the holiday season (when no one really reads), and since this whole thing is an extremely long story (from which I kind of assume you all need a break), I will not post the next kidney post until January 4, 2015. I’ll still post on the blog daily. But we won’t talk about this for another few weeks. Thanks!)

Inaugural Disney’s Avenger’s Half Marathon (November 16, 2014) – Part 1 (An Overview – It’s a Disney Race)

December 13, 2014

I have come to love and appreciate Disney races for exactly what they are.

It’s amazing how much your attitude can change your experience!

I’ve mentioned before that Disney races are Disney events that happen to involve running, as opposed to running events that happen to involve Disney.

There are bottle necks. People will stop abruptly right in front of you. I used to be annoyed about this.

But now, I view that stuff almost as fun little obstacles. I know what a Disney race is – an excuse to be silly, frolic around the parks, and take a ridiculous amount of photos. So, that’s exactly what I did this time.

Yet, in every race, I see at least a few runners who had no idea this is what it would be like.

Once we all got to our first bottleneck where there was basically no hope of running through, I heard someone yelling about trying to make it to her next mile marker in two minutes. She seemed quite annoyed, and like she was in disbelief at the scene.

Oh you poor, naive, sweet runner. This is a Disney race. Hunker down for that a few more times.

Later in the race, yet again as we came out of the castle, the person in front of me stopped cold in her tracks, in front of the photographer.

But now I know to be hyper alert at the castle. I didn’t almost trip (as I have before), because I was expecting her to stop. She stopped twice (at both photographers). And both times, I narrowly avoided falling on her.

(There’s only so much room to compensate in that small area with so many runners.)

After we’d run a little while, I did notice that if you were willing to run off course (and out of everyone’s way – yay!), you could get a shot with the castle in the background. It’s a Disney race. I obviously had no time goals. So, off I went!

Another thing that I felt was much easier to take in with this super chill, laid back attitude (that I almost feel you must bring to Disney races) was all the positive energy people were putting out!

I forgot how sweet, and kind, and silly Disney runners are. It was a nice energy to surround myself with.

(I’d had an extremely dramatic week at work trying to get a day off, which I won’t be able to talk about until late May – for reasons that will become clear then. But the point is, to be surrounded by these chipper Disney runners was a nice perk up.)

The day was great. The course was fun. The medal was awesome. The woman who gave me my medal not only put it over my head, she hugged everyone to whom she gave a medal! It was so cute.

When it comes to attitude, hospitality, and general sweetness, I don’t think it gets much better than a Disney race.

I’ll talk about a few more details tomorrow.

(#43) Tree Mapping (October 19, 2014)

December 11, 2014

I’d never been tree mapping, and I love trying new stuff!

This activity was done with Tree People. (They have a cool website and they care about the environment.)

This project was done as part of Tree Map LA. If you want to learn all about that project, you can click the link. But the overview is, they want to use available data plus tree mapping to get information on all the trees in Los Angeles (and surrounding areas) to one central place.

The main purpose of getting all that information in one big map/app is summed up in this paragraph I got from their website:

“This information will help us to manage the well-being of our region’s urban forest and make our city more livable: shadier, cleaner, safer and more beautiful, and better able to meet climate change impacts. Users of this information include government agencies, arborists, landscape architects, planners, students, civic organizations, and everyday citizens.”

I went to this with a friend of mine from one of my old jobs. This was a very fitting thing to bring someone to, as we got put in pairs.

(Of course, I’m sure it would’ve also been a fulfilling experience to meet a stranger. Nonetheless, it’s a great morning to spend with a friend, if you’re looking for something to do with one of your buds.)

Basically, there was a morning huddle of volunteers and the people in charge. The volunteers were given all the supplies we’d need – a paper full of pictures of trees and their names (so we could identify them), and a nifty tape measure (that we got to keep!). We also were given the cell phone number of the guy in charge, in case we had any questions. And we got maps with the streets that we were to do highlighted.

After we heard a cool little speech about trees and Tree People’s mission, James (my friend) and I went off down our street.

We took turns with who got to do the cool measuring job, and who got to enter the data into the app (though really, that job was kinda fun too).

It went by pretty quickly. I learned a little more about kinds of trees, and how to map trees. It was a fun, productive day!

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 54 (Just a Mildly Funny Side Thing)

December 10, 2014

Picking up from last time –

When I first decided I wanted to be a living kidney donor, my dad was a little wary about the idea.

I mean, he’s cool and all. (Plus, he’s super giving. So he couldn’t expect that his daughter wouldn’t be inspired by all his charity work and such.) Also, he respects me as an independent woman capable of making decisions.

However, I’m still always going to be Daddy’s little girl. If our relationship is anything like the one between him and his mom, he will still adorably treat me as though I’m 8 years old even when I’m 50 – going out of his way to baby me a little (and he’ll worry about me).

Of course, I don’t want him to feel worried about me. I suppose that’s just what happens to parents. It is what is.

All that to say, even if he understands my decision, and will stand by me as someone who loves me, he will most likely never lose that little scared feeling he has along with that.

So, he followed the process pretty closely with me. I was told at the beginning of the process that only 50% of people who start end up finishing the process and giving a kidney. My dad became very interested, wondering which half I’d be in.

While I feel supported by him, I know there was a part of him that wanted them to say I only had one kidney and never realized it – or something like that. I think he wanted something that medically wouldn’t be dangerous, but would disqualify me.

And the thing that was most hilarious to me about my denial from the psychologist was that my dad, in an almost disappointed way, immediately said, “Well all this means is you’re absolutely giving a kidney now.”

He didn’t, even for a millisecond, believe that that denial was going to be the end for me. He knew that I am super stubborn.

I do want to give my kidney for the right reasons. I was 100% sure about it even before this woman. So I don’t want to make it sound like she has any special power. But he knew her denial would make it so that I absolutely must give a kidney. I wouldn’t take no for an answer – especially such an unfair no.

He knew I’d be willing to go through inconveniences of more tests, more paperwork, whatever it took. Because now, not only do I have to help another person escape the hospital life I had… but I have to prove that lady wrong.

The silver lining for him is that part of proving her wrong is having an extremely successful surgery where I bounce back quickly. So I will take care of myself better than any kidney donor ever has!

So, at least he’ll know I’m super safe. But I just loved that, for him, the denial clinched that it was happening. (Daddy knows me so well.)

Now I’m all done talking about her in these posts because bitterness doesn’t look good on anybody (including me). And I don’t want to give her any more power than she already has (since she’s already taking too much).

I’m just gonna be thankful that she gave me even a little extra oomph… (as if I even needed it!).

And we’ll pick up with a recap of everything thus far next time.

(#42) Ushering For “A or B” – A New Play! (October 17, 2014) – Part 2 (The Volunteering)

December 9, 2014

A or B at Falcon Theater playbill cover — Photo credit: Falcon Theatre, AnythingLA.com

Picking up from last time –

Oh yeah, that whole volunteer part (which is what this thing is supposed to be about).

As an usher, I was to mark tickets, give programs, and count on a little counter how many people I had. (And I was supposed to point them in the direction they were going.)

I kept trying to do it in the same order every time. But it seemed like no matter what order I tried to do the marking, programs, and counting, it always got a little messed up.

If I counted first, I wasn’t fast enough with programs. If I tried to take tickets first, someone would hand me a handful of tickets and the rest of the party would start walking away from me… Wait! you need your programs! Though, many people had gotten programs in the lobby. So sometimes that step with me was skipped altogether.

It’s silly because it’s such an unbelievably easy job, yet I never thought I got rhythm quite correct of what I thought the best order of those simple steps were. However, ultimately, everyone got sat. Everyone got programs.I laughed and had a grand time with people as they came in. People seemed to have a grand ol’ time.

Also, the house manager (who was in charge of the ushers) was really kind. The Falcon Theatre was a cool place with a cool vibe, and I had a really lovely night!

Side note: I’m so glad I did, as I really needed it. Small spoiler alert for my ongoing kidney story. This was the day I found out I had a very unexpected obstacle get in the way of my hopes of donating a kidney at UCLA. Part of me wanted to just be home alone all night. But I’m glad I decided to venture out into the world of theater – which almost always makes anything better.

(#42) Ushering For “A or B” – A New Play! (October 17, 2014) – Part 1 (Meeting Ken Levine)

December 8, 2014

Ken Levine standing with Aurora at the Falcon Theatre at intermission during A or B — with Ken Levine – the playwright!

This one barely counts because I barely did anything, and I got to see a free show!

Nonetheless, since I was technically volunteering, I’m counting it!

I’m a pretty loyal reader of Ken Levine’s blog. When he announced a play of his would be premiering in Los Angeles, I had to see it!

I learned you can see the show (at the Falcon Theatre) for free if you usher for one of the performances!

Free theater? How am I not aware of this cool stuff after over 3 years of living in L.A.? And why have I seen such a tiny amount of theater since I’ve been here? (Preposterous.)

The play had an interesting concept, and some fun, laugh-out-loud moments.

In the play, we watch a story unfold in two timelines with a slightly different beginning. The show starts with a job interview and in one timeline the woman gets the job. In the other, she doesn’t (and starts dating the interviewer).

There are moments where possible romantic complications just might occur in the timeline where she gets the job – but you’ll have to see the play to know.

I kept my eyes peeled for Ken (the playwright). He’s posted pictures on his blog, so I had an idea of what he looked like. After reading his blog most days for years, I wanted to meet him!

It was lovely meeting him. I felt a bit like a creeper, ’cause I was all, “Oh this must be Annie” (his daughter, whom I’d seen on the blog).

You’d think I’d have tons to talk to him about. Surprisingly, I felt that having read oh so much of the blog made it hard for me to start a conversation with him.

I felt like I should have a million questions for someone who’s been in the biz so long, with so many wildly impressive credits. But I’ve read it all – how he find his writing partner, their first spec, their first jobs, their move from one show to another, creating a show, writing movies…

I’ve even read about his other jobs such as being a DJ and a baseball announcer. And I’ve read so much more – opinion posts, travelogues, and all that jazz. What do you say when you weirdly already know so much about a person’s life, and have already had so many questions answered.

I still asked a couple of things, and was able to carry on somewhat of a conversation. Then I felt kind of rambled after I mentioned I blogged as well, and he asked what I blogged about. But he was so gracious and kind, he didn’t make me feel as though I was rambling!

It was so nice to meet someone you kind of feel like you know (but you totally don’t) in person, and have him be even lovelier than you were expecting!

And I’ll get into the actual volunteer work of the night tomorrow.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 53 (The Silver Lining)

December 7, 2014

Picking up from Wednesday –

Before we move on to the next hospital, I do just want to say that as much as I’ve been angry and livid and crazy over my rejection from OSU Medical Center, I will say that I believe in the end, it actually did work out for the better.

I *don’t* agree with the reasoning of the transplant team members who rejected me. I *don’t* agree with the way they treated me – never giving me straight answers to questions, and getting frustrated at everything I said and did – even when what I said and did wasn’t outside the range of something normal to say/do/ask.

But, it was good that I had to lose that weight. Going to a state with lax laws regarding the weight I need to be was an easy way out. Even though I was still healthy when it came to my numbers (blood pressure, heart rate and all that), I think I’m probably a bit healthier now.

I think I’ll bounce back from surgery at least a little easier than I would have when I was heavier.

Weight wasn’t an issue at all in my rejection from OSU. Yet, I think that was really the biggest reason I should’ve waited. So, I guess I’m begrudgingly slightly happy that happened.

It’s almost not even worth mentioning any other reasons since that is far, far and away the biggest reason. However, I also will add that as much as I love so many people in Ohio, I’ve made it quite clear that I do better recovering from stuff in my own space. I don’t need people around me all the time.

While I think the people in Ohio would’ve been respectful – and, while, for all I know, it would’ve been loads of fun hanging out with them and playing Monopoly… (not to mention, while I so, so, so love to escape from L.A. whenever I have the chance) – I suppose there is something to be said for recuperating in my own room, on my own soft cloud-like mattress, with my own TV full of DVRed Jeopardy! episodes.

I think it’s a bit hilarious that the psychologist’s whole thing was I needed more support, yet her denying me has helped in my goal to have fewer people around. So, yay for me. Ba-bam.

(I mean, I think I generally make friends everywhere I go (even L.A., sort of ;)). I know people out here. So, I shan’t be lonely. I’ll still have plenty of people around to play Monopoly or Scrabble…)

So, I don’t think the psychologist was right. I will never think she was right. However, I do think that her wrongness still happened to probably work in my favor.

Of course it’s easy to see the positive side now, ’cause once you can’t change the outcome of an event, you might as well look on the positive side – since what would be the point in looking elsewhere?

But still, I’m choosing to look there. And I look forward to moving forward at a different hospital.

Speaking of hospitals, up next we’ll deal with UCLA. Wednesday I’ll pick up with one final thought on what’s happened so far.

(#41) Food Forward (October 15, 2014)

December 6, 2014

I chose this event only a few hours before it happened.

I wasn’t planning anything even a day in advance, as I never knew when I’d be back to work.

I was in limbo with my job that week. We were on this weird little mini-strike where no one was going back to work until we got our back pay.

Random side note: I call it a mini-strike because we didn’t rise up as workers saying we demand better. Our EP made the call since we weren’t getting paid. He told us to stop coming to work.

Also, no demands were made for any better conditions. People were really just fighting for already agreed upon things (employees’ salaries).

When we were working, the show was taking practically every moment of my day and every ounce of my energy – as it was the first time I was getting any sort of producer credit on something(!), and I was producing my heart out on those episodes.

So, when we weren’t working, I tried to seize the days (worked out a lot, went actual striking, just generally living it up). I knew if we went back it’d be as intense as it was before, only possibly more so (if possible) because of the time we lost.

Aurora pusing a cart at Food Forward — Gotta always get that butt shot.

So, when I saw this opportunity on volunteer match, I jumped on it. My amazing friend Chloe, who was in the same work limbo with me, went with me! (I really loved having her here, as her adventurous energy was very inspiring and wonderful.)

This event was pretty simple.

We walked around to booths of at a farmers market, dropping off boxes (marking down how many we dropped off). Then, as the market was winding down, we took the boxes back (checking them back in on the same sheet where we checked them out).

All the boxes got labeled with the name of the vendor so that after they were weighed, vendors would get receipts of what they’d given.

After we gathered all the boxes, we brought them back to a central area, where they were weighed, labeled, and accounted for on paper. (That way, there was a central document so people could know what was going where, and who had given what).

The boxes were sorted into three stacks, because three different food pantries would be coming to pick up the boxes. Each stack got a variety of food (e.g. if there were 3 boxes of lettuce, one would be put in each stack.)

The pantries were very prompt in getting their food. Trucks drove in as the market was being taken down. Very kind and thankful drivers helped load the food onto their trucks, then went away. One food panty was just immediately down the street, so they were able to bring a cart up and grab food.

The day was easy, as there were many volunteers. Each part of the process took hardly any time, with so many hands helping.

I didn’t realize before that day that there was an organization to help take food that might otherwise be thrown out at a farmers market. And how lovely it is that one exists!

Less waste. More food for people in need. Tax benefits for farmers (I’d assume). It sounds to me like everybody wins!

(#40) Setting Up For Long Beach Opera Fundraiser (October 12, 2014)

December 4, 2014

I don’t have any incredible reasons why I chose this one…

It was within walking distance from the Long Beach 5k. I didn’t have anything I really needed to do that day. I still needed more volunteer activities. And I love the arts. So, let’s do this thing!

I did hear from some of the other volunteers that the reason they came was because they adored Long Beach Opera. Word on the street is it’s a very creative opera company. So, I’m happy to know about it. Maybe I’ll check out a show sometime!

I just helped to carry things in, and then glue numbers on the back of paddles. It was a very simple day.

One thing I took away from it though, is that it’s good to try to think “What would one step better than this be, and can we do that?”

When we were gluing on the numbers, someone (who’d been a city planner, so I understand the awesome attention to detail) mentioned that when she first heard we’d be attaching numbers, she thought they would’ve been printed on labels that could’ve been peeled and applied.

Working with glue sticks was more time consuming and messier than if we’d used labels. (Also, we went through a surprising amount of glue sticks!)

(Since this woman’s ides for something better intrigued me, I even found a nice little advice video when it comes to making auction paddles. (Yay for the good ol’ internet – full of information.))

Granted, we were all volunteers. So, ostensibly, we had the time to spare. And none of the volunteers had any real complaints. But I love that that woman spoke her thoughts out loud, because she made me think about the fact that if I ever run an event like this, I do want volunteers to feel that I’m using their time as best I can. (And I want people attending the event to feel that the stuff around them is quality.)

So, my main takeaway (which I think is good not only in events, but also in life) is, “What would one step better than this be, and can we do that?” Can you imagine what we could accomplish if we asked that about every thing we did?

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 52 (And a No from Cedars…)

December 3, 2014

Picking up from Sunday –

So, I was denied at OSU, which meant I could start over again. I’d just have to do it with another hospital. I suppose Cedars-Sinai (somewhat close to where I live) made the most sense.

The requirements at OSU and Cedars were different.

At OSU, I was well within the acceptable weight requirement to give a kidney.

While this is embarrassing… For Cedars, I needed to lose a little over 20 pounds before they’d even begin the process.

It’s so embarrassing to be fat – especially to be too fat to do certain things! So, it pains me to admit this is part of my story But I can’t escape the truth. I want so very badly to give a kidney to a stranger. I knew I needed to lose the weight not only for me, but for someone else.

So, I worked out harder, ate a lot smarter, and slowly but surely shed enough weight. Woo hoo!

I thought that that had to be the last hurdle… right?! I now had a much better idea of the importance of the interviews, and the amount of reverence with which they should be treated. I knew my medical tests would come back clean. So, we had to be all good at this point. Right?

Wrong.

After Cedars took a couple of weeks to look through and process my initial paperwork (with medical records from my heart surgery), they called to let me know their surgeon would not work on someone who’d had as many heart issues as I’d had.

They were nice about it. They let me down easy. They said, “Our surgeon is just very conservative. Just because we can’t take you doesn’t mean someone else won’t. We’d recommend trying with another hospital.”

Aye, aye, aye. Another one.

Well, at least this time I only lost a few weeks, and I didn’t have to endure any extra tests…

I did have to fill out what seemed to be a fairly large amount of paperwork – medical history, information about who was gonna take care of me, results of 3 blood pressure screenings …

So I guess I did have to have a tiny bit of non-exact testing that can be done at oh-so-many locations (not just doctors offices or labs) after all. But it barely counts, since it’s so convenient, non-invasive (and free).

But it’s all good. It was disappointing, since I felt like there was mainly one thing/person who held me back at OSU. Without that I thought it’d be smooth sailing. But when is life ever what you think?

Forging on to UCLA!

Rock ‘n’ Roll Los Angeles 2014 (October 26, 2014) – Part 3 (The Race)

December 2, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I’ve made a few bad decisions when it came to getting up for races before. So, you’d think I’d learn and never make mistakes like that again.

(One thing keeping this blog is teaching me is that sometimes I think I learn a lesson, or I think I change and then I realize… maybe I don’t…)

Anyway, I could’ve sworn the website said the race started at 7:30. I remember looking! I don’t know why I thought it started at 7:30, but I did. So, I set my alarm for just before 7. (The race is just downstairs. I didn’t need much time to throw on my costume and walk down.)

My alarm goes off, and I’m all, “Meh. I’ll just snooze. So tired.”

And then… I hear “3, 2, 1 [tons of start line cheering and music].” Uh, wait. What? The race is starting?!

I heard them starting corrals. I knew corrals would most likely be starting for at least 20 minutes.

Nonetheless, I leapt out of bed (as there’s a difference between having a soft half hour, knowing if you don’t make it right at 7:30, there will be plenty of corrals – and have a hard 20 minutes, where if you miss the last corral you’re in trouble!).

I still hadn’t even tried on my costume (as most of the pieces had something drying on them last night). So, thank goodness it all fit!

I threw on my costume, grabbed my bib and timing chip, and ran out the door. Then I ran back in the door when I realized I forgot to put on sunscreen and grab my sunglasses. And then I ran back out the door again.

Once I got down there, I was happy to see I still had plenty of time. I affixed my bib and timing chip, and even got to stretch a little. (Woot.) I had forgotten to grab a banana, but I was over it.

Within the first mile, some guy looked at me and said, “Are you Mo’ne Davis?” YES! Last year, no one knew who I was – even after I told people, they still didn’t know who Wendy Davis was!

So, yay for being recognized – which happened at a few different points, if you can believe it!

In my rush to get ready in the morning, I didn’t bring my phone with me! I was too nervous (about the time) to run back up and get it.

In the middle of the race, I passed close enough to my place that I could’ve gone up and gotten it. I told myself “this is your one chance. If you want it, grab it now!” (I could’ve gotten a banana while I was at it.)

But I was doing fine, and I was actually kind of enjoying a phone-less race. It’s nice to try to just be present.

Once the race was over, I ran back to my apartment, grabbed my phone, got a few photos at the finish, and then it was off to work!

Good race. Good people. Good times. (And only 2 more years until I get to be Hillary Clinton! :-))

Rock ‘n’ Roll Los Angeles 2014 (October 26, 2014) – Part 2 (Putting Together The Last Minute Costume)

December 1, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I’d put the decision off for so long that there were only two days left before the race!

I googled to see if there were any Mo’ne Davis Halloween costumes, but alas, I did not find any. I asked around to some costume-making friends and no one had the time on such short notice. I then tried to hire a task rabbit to put the look together for me one piece at a time. She said she was having too much trouble doing it, and that I should pick someone else.

Thankfully, there was amazing Chloe to save the day.

(I’d needed to hire a PA for Living with the Jacksons, a show I was working on (that we will so talk about), so I hired an alum from my high school who’d just graduated. So, she was staying with me while trying out California.)

Anyway, she stepped up to the plate and said she’d be more than happy to do it! Thank goodness for Chloe, and her problem-solving skills, and her positive attitude. (No wonder I hired her on a TV show. I’d hire her again!)

By the time I’d finally made it to Chloe (and exhausted those other options), it was the day before the race. She had one day. (Tons of applause to her.)

I was in rehearsal all day. And she’d give me little updates or ask my opinion on things. I loved knowing the costume was coming together. I was slightly nervous that maybe something wouldn’t fit. But she knew my size, and I just had to trust things would fit. (And they did.)

When I got home, I would say I was pleasantly surprised, but I wasn’t surprised as I had faith in her. Nonetheless, it was still very pleasant to come home to my awesome costume!

The only thing I wish we would’ve been able to do was to get a maroon hat. Chloe said she looked at at least 3 different stores. I ran out to Target (as it was the only thing close and open by the time I got home) to see if there was anything even close to Maroon.

(I think she’d even already been to Target. I trusted her, of course, but still thought it wouldn’t hurt to look since it was just a couple of blocks away.)

Not surprisingly, since she’d already looked and found nothing, I found nothing either. But I did buy an extra hat, and cut out some of the maroon fabric from my undershirt and try to glue it on. I made a total mess of that hat. So, we went with the grey one after all.

All in all though, I was obviously Mo’ne Davis – even down to the little details of Chloe putting the small stripes down the side of my pants. So, thanks Chloe! You’re awesome.

And I’ll pick up with the race next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 51 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – Finishing Out The Psychologist’s Report)

November 30, 2014

Picking up from Wednesday –

Finally, in her last paragraph (the impressions paragraph), she said I was unaccompanied to the appointment (again this is being mentioned!).

In all seriousness – as a legitimate question – I’m wondering how people knew to bring other people. Since when do I bring people to doctor’s appointments? I’d had a million tests leading up to this. No one had to come to those. How was I to know I was supposed to bring someone? I can’t believe how many freaking dings I got just because of this. Eeeeeesh!

She just reiterated all the things we’ve already been over and ended with “It is not recommended that she proceed with non-directed donation at this time.”

*sigh* Even reading that sentence after all this time hurts a little. I remember how upset I was when it happened.

And I hope this story has really upset you too!

Now, because I get so wildly riled up about it, I’ve had some friends – honestly even a friend of mine who actually needs a kidney! – say that “oh, maybe she’s not so bad… I mean, you are kind of intense, etc. etc.”

And that is true! I am intense. It’s a word used to describe me all the time, and I believe it’s true. Sometimes that’s a wonderful quality when it comes to goal-setting, and focusing, and getting things done. And sometimes it’s not as great when you overwhelm people…

And I get it. And I think I’ve played devil’s advocate here before. So I don’t want to retread stuff too much.

But my main thing is, if the only thing she’s supposed to do is make sure I’m mentally and financially capable of doing this, then make me provide bank statements, or tax returns, or something.

Make me take a test to make sure I can be considered a mentally competent person who knows enough about kidney donation and possible complications and things. But please don’t twist everything I say and make me feel like I’m in this awful game.

This was an unbelievably horrendous experience for me. And I think many people would quit. After all, why in the world go through all this again?

But all this has done has made me more sure than ever that I desperately want to be a living kidney donor! (I will be.) (And there actually are bright sides to getting denied by OSU Medical Center.)

So, let’s try again. And let’s talk about it on Wednesday.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Los Angeles 2014 (October 26, 2014) – Part 1 (As Whom Should I Dress?)

November 29, 2014

Last year, I started my new tradition of running as a different inspiring woman from the year every year.

I said that this year I’d be smarter and plan way sooner since my costume was sort of a mess last time. But alas, I did not plan any sooner. If it’s even possible, I think I actually planned later!

Last year, the choice to go as Wendy Davis seemed so natural. I’d watched the livestream of the Texas State Senate the night her filibuster happened, and I tweeted like there was no tomorrow. I was invested, inspired, and ready to lace on her pink Mizunos.

This year, as the half marathon got closer, I couldn’t easily think of any Wendy Davis-like moments that had grabbed me. I took my question to social media. A lovely blog reader, Sara, suggested Mo’ne Davis!

This was a brilliant idea, as Mo’ne Davis is very inspiring. She’s one of the few girls to play in the Little League World Series. And she’s the first one to pitch a shutout. (She was on the cover of “Sports Illustrated” as a cherry on top.) She’s seems really confident and cool.

There were a couple of other options mentioned (such as Malala Yousafzai – also not a bad choice).

Idina Menzel popped into my head, as a good option, as my Mo’ne Davis costume was being figured out (so I was a little late on that).

(Plus, one challenge with her was that while Idina had a wonderful and inspiring year, she didn’t have necessarily a defining look on which to base a costume (though there were things I could’ve chosen that would’ve made sense).)

But enough with the side notes, and back to the costume I wore.

Can I admit I was slightly nervous about dressing up as Mo’ne Davis? I don’t know what everyone’s rules are when it comes to dressing up as someone of a different race.

My understanding was that as long as I didn’t do anything offensive (with any dark make-up, or things of that sort), that I could dress in her uniform. I mean, why not right?

I was still slightly nervous about it. I didn’t want to inadvertently start any twitter storms. Honestly, I’m nervous about even talking about being nervous about it. Eeesh.

I like to feel that I’m respectful toward people, and generally smart. I try to have an understanding of the world around me. So, part of me feels like, “Am I allowed to feel uncomfortable? Shouldn’t I already understand normal societal rules – if I am indeed a smart, perceptive, respectful member of society? Is it offensive that I’m even questioning what will be offensive or not?”

But, you know, some people have made missteps in the past. And I didn’t want to accidentally make one (especially not while trying to show that someone’s so awesome).

Anyway, I talked it over with some various friends. Everyone said as long as I didn’t try to alter my skin color in any way that my costume wouldn’t be offensive.

After all, if I’m trying to honor super cool women each year, I’m really limiting my choices (and what I’m choosing to put out in the world) if I only get to choose from a pool of white women…

Aaaaanyway, moving on, decision made. I’m Mo’ne Davis this year.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

(#39) Long Beach 5k – Handing Out Medals (October 12, 2014) – Part 4 (The Other Things I Learned)

November 27, 2014

Aurora presending a medal to Gia at the Long Beach 5k 2014 — Photo credit – Gia’s family (uses hashtag @MillersSquad)

Picking up from last time –

I learned a couple of things that I think would make the day better for volunteers.

1) I did not realize how incredibly loud the finish line is for the volunteers who have to work there. I don’t know why that never dawned on me. Of course a finish line is loud. I think it would’ve been an incredibly lovely, thoughtful gesture to have earplugs available to us. (Or perhaps I should’ve thought ahead and brought my own. Either way, something to think about/remember for next time.)

2) I did not realize how much people relied on volunteers! Whenever I went anywhere other than the finish line (to use the restroom, to sign in/out of the volunteer tent, etc.), lots of people asked me questions! “Where is the half marathon finish line?” “What time does the marathon start?” “Where is the results tent?” And on and on. Since I had volunteer written huge across the back of my shirt, it makes sense to assume I might know what I’m doing.

The volunteers had tons of time in the volunteer tent in the morning, as we waited to go to our assignments. I think it’d be pretty rad if maybe they had some kind of mini-info session where we get an overview of the most often asked questions so we could actually be helpful when people are asking us things.

(Or it might be nice to have a little cheat sheet with that. I don’t believe in wasting paper, and I know not everyone has pockets. But I hated the feeling of not being able to help these frustrated, lost people just trying to not miss their racers’ big moments.)

Aurora putting a medal over Gia's head at the Long Beach 5k 2014 — Photo credit – Gia’s family (uses hashtag @MillersSquad)

3) Before the 5k started, 3 of us were picked out and told that we needed to tell the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place male and female that there would be an awards ceremony. And we’d explain where the VIP tent was, where they could go.

We weren’t assigned, “Okay, you do 1st. You do 2nd. You 3rd” – though with the frenzied finish line, I don’t know that that would’ve been the best answer (though it may have helped as long as we were good at communicating that 1st and 2nd had crossed).

When the winners were coming across, I was in the back of the two lines, and the other two winner-tellers were in the front (sort of boxed in with other volunteers). And the winners went pretty far past the finish line and seemed to just want to walk immediately (no stopping), so I’d grab them quickly on their way out.

Basically, I think since there were oh so many volunteers, we really could’ve almost each had a person (1nd 2nd and 3rd place male and female), and walked them all the way to the VIP tent – so they wouldn’t have to stop moving, and they wouldn’t have to try to comprehend instructions in their tired brains.

That may have been overkill. But it doesn’t hurt to consider it.

Anyway, that’s everything I took away from it! I did not imagine working a finish line would be such a worthwhile experience where I’d learn so much about behind-the-scenes race stuff, and making things better for runners, spectators, and volunteers. So, yay for all that!

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 50 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – The Most True (and Funny) Parts of Her Evaluation)

November 26, 2014

Aurora looking very agitated after being woken up — Since we’re talking about being agitated, I thought I’d post a random agitated photo I have from when I was woken up in the middle of my night.
(As you can maybe tell, I’m wearing my retainer!) So, here is one of my agitated faces. 🙂

Picking up from Sunday –

Even though she thinks my range of intelligence is “average,” at least she said attention was good and recall was good (there’s that important memory stuff I was telling you about).

She said “psychomotor behavior was agitated.” Well, yeah! I’d say so. She had to at least be trying a little to goad me.

Right? At least a little? Because no one – especially a psychologist who should be in tune to human behavior – can treat me like that, and say the somewhat ridiculous things she said, and not be at least somewhat aware that you are agitating the other person. Right? Maybe?

In the mental status section, she said I had a nervous laugh. I absolutely cannot argue with her at all on that point. I’ve noticed it in every interview I ever see of myself. I laugh at things that really aren’t funny, ’cause I’m a little nervous – every single interview I can think of. So, she’s right. No argument. I’m working on changing that habit.

I laughed out loud at this part, “Patient was adequately groomed, but presented to the appointment in pajama pants which is socially abnormal behavior, as a healthy adult.”

I think I misunderstood the day. I was going into it thinking it was going to be a very long day starting very early in the morning with lots of various tests (meaning I’d have to take my clothes on and off a lot during the day – and pajamas would be the easiest way to do that).

And actually, that’s exactly what the day was! So, I was sort of right on.

However, I did not realize that these interviews were intensely serious business, and that I needed to dress as though I were going to a job interview.

I just did not know. My whole previous experience with medical stuff had been so unbelievably long and involved that I thought I understood the hospital world, but goodness did I learn that I do not.

I wish I would’ve known to approach this differently, but at least I know for next time.

The psychologist did say my mood is “euthymic with broad affect.” My understanding is euthymic just means kind of in the middle. It’s not too excited. It’s not depressed. It’s just a normal, at least semi-pleasant human being.

And I understand that broad affect means a normal range of affect, with affect meaning expression of emotion, or feelings, displayed to others (with emotional signs such as hand gestures, facial expressions and such).

So, yay! One point for me, ’cause at least she things I’m semi-normal…

Of course, in her next sentence, she says my “judgement appears to be questionable.” My immediate reaction to that when I read it was “hey!” But then I thought, “well, I live in Los Angeles, so my judgement must be at least somewhat questionable, right?” (ba-dum-cha!)

And this is where we’ll pick up on Sunday.

(#39) Long Beach 5k – Handing Out Medals (October 12, 2014) – Part 3 (And That’s A No On My Idea)

November 25, 2014

Picking up from last time (getting admonished) –

I’m not trying to be different for the sake of being different, or be a jerk.

I was just trying to do any small piece I could in trying to solve an issue, when there were no black-shirted people around to help you. If a superior isn’t around in a time sensitive manner, in a case where you can take initiative, you do, right?

I get that we’re in a loud area and a lot is happening, so maybe it would’ve been a little harder to say something like, “We prefer to have two lines of volunteers. And if you could go back into one of those, I’d appreciate it.” But it just hurt to hear this person admonishing me, acting like I’m not even giving out medals when I’m giving everything I have to make these runners feel special.

Then, before I even have a chance to move – immediately after she says she’s going to need me to give out medals, a security guard comes up right behind her and says I need to be in one of the two lines.

I don’t know where he came from, or if they thought I was going to be difficult, or if it was just coincidence or what. But it was a slightly overwhelming, when for 20-ish minutes, I didn’t have any idea anything was wrong.

Right as this is happening, a few runners come in who take my last medals. And there were no more medals left to get. The race had run out. So, the idea of me moving became moot anyway, as there was nothing left to do at the finish line.

Had there been time, and still medals left to give, I would’ve loved to have talked to the security guard about why they were doing two lines – which seemed a little unsafe with all the bottle-necking. I wouldn’t have done it abrasively or anything. I’m not suggesting I know more than the person who’s paid to watch for the security of others. I just think it’s always great when people can work together and collaborate to make things better.

I saw the whole two line thing work at a Disney race, so it’s not to say that that can’t work well. But the difference was, instead of being immediately after the finish line, you had to walk a small bit to get to the volunteers. Also, they were *spread out.* And they stayed spread out – that was the key. You went to them. So, nothing got bunched up and bottle-necked. It worked wonderfully!

So, I’m not against two lines. I just feel we need to get out of the way of runners. (I know I’m a green shirt. And staff members/volunteer leaders have every right to ask me to stand in a line with no explanation. And that’s fine. I don’t mean to sound entitled. I just wanted us all to be the best we could be, if possible.

Anyway, I’ll finish out with other things I learned from volunteering here next time.

(#39) Long Beach 5k – Handing Out Medals (October 12, 2014) – Part 2 (Trying to Make a Change)

November 24, 2014

Picking up from last time –

The two people I’d talked to sounded so on board, but when I asked if they wanted to start a third line, they were not doing it.

They almost seemed a little afraid, but I wondered what they were afraid of. We were left to our own devices here, and what we’re doing obviously isn’t working. So, how about we try something new?

Had a black-shirted person perhaps come by before we started and somehow I missed them setting us in this configuration? Is that why people didn’t want to move?

Or were we just living in the awful status quo? No one was communicating any reasons not to move with me. (Of course a lot was going on at a finish line, so I’m not saying it would’ve been easy to do that, as things are happening quickly…)

Anyway, I had no power whatsoever. We’re all just green shirts. So, I really can’t ask the people to make a 3rd line. I can say it’s a good idea and ask if they want to. And if no one moves their butt, what kind of authority do I have? None.

So, I decide I will just go over to the huge empty space on the left side of the finish line, and see if runners come over to me. And maybe if I get busy, then other volunteers will decide to come over with me.

So, I go over there – an no one does come over with me. Nonetheless, I’ve still helped us to spread out at least a little. And some runners do come over to me.

Now, I am giving it my freaking all over here. In between runners, I’m dancing to the music and cheering people on. When people do come in, I give them a great big congratulations and put the medal on the person (unless they choose to put it on themselves).

And then, a black-shirted volunteer person comes over to me.

In a tone as though she’s admonishing me, she says, “I’m gonna need you to hand out medals” (as I’m handing out medals, mind you!).

So, uh, can you tell me what I’ve been doing all this time, then?

This is where I’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 49 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – Yes, Even More Notes From The Psychologist (But At Least One Is Valid))

November 23, 2014

Picking up from Wednesday –

The psychologist talked in her notes about her concern with not wanting people to visit during recovery. She said: “[Aurora] demonstrated some lack of insight into how her surgery may impact her family and other who care about her.”

Okay. I kind of, sort of, get what she’s saying. But the people who care about me know me! They know this is me. Even though a lot of people thought I was a bit crazy at the beginning (I think due to shock more than anything else), people totally got on board and understood it. And they were cool about it.

People would be fine. I don’t want to say her concerns aren’t valid. I do understand that surgery can affect families. Of any concerns she’s had, I’d say this is probably the most legitimate. But I also think that I’m more independent than she thinks, and that the people in my life are
a) more used to that than she thinks and
b) stronger than she thinks.

But I suppose that would be a question for my friends and family – not for me.

(Although in the end, even though I wildly care about some people, it doesn’t actually matter how they feel about it. Because ultimately it’s my body, my life, and my decision. People can be worried if they want. I will still love them and try to be kind to them. But that shouldn’t affect if I can give a kidney.)

There’s a whole compliance section in here. And the psychologist said that I mentioned the day I went home from open heart surgery I attended a recording session for my college class and “did not rest as directed.”

That wasn’t at all what I was trying to say when telling her that. She was saying I was going to need all this help in recovering. And I was just trying to say, “Hey, the day I got out of the hospital, I was in the studio. I’m gonna be fine.”

I wasn’t trying to say I was a big rebel. I was trying to say I’m strong and capable. Ugh. At least I know for future reference, that story apparently works against me, rather than for me (in this medical sense at least – I think it works well for job possibilities and random story times when getting to know people … but it’s not good for psychologists, it seems).

Her notes say I have an average range of intelligence. Ouch a little, right? I’m in Mensa, and people tell me sort of often they think I’m smart. So that stung a bit. How does she even gauge that? Whatever. I don’t care. It’s a small point. It wasn’t an IQ test. She can think I’m however smart (or dumb) she wants to think I am.

And honestly, if I couldn’t read her, and I couldn’t figure out how this all works, and apparently I gave all the wrong answers – then maybe I’m not nearly as smart as I think I am!

I’m learning that seeing other people’s perceptions of me can be a bit rough. Eesh…

I’ll pick up here on Wednesday.

(#39) Long Beach 5k – Handing Out Medals (October 12, 2014) – Part 1 (Our Set-Up Is Terrible)

November 22, 2014

Originally, I was signed up to course marshal the marathon. But when I got there, they needed people at the 5k finish.

I would think finish lines would be the most coveted spots. But for whatever reason, in this case, they needed people there. So, off I went to the 5k finish!

First we all unwrapped the medals. Then, we got to just hang out for a while ’til the race started. Not long after the start, volunteers loaded medals over our arms and went out to the finish line, prepared to hand them out.

And we were pretty much a mess.

We ended up making 2 lines perpendicular to the finish line. However that configuration came to be, it was soon apparent that it was a pretty terrible idea. We’d made kind of a chute, and volunteers in the back of the lines kept coming in closer and closer in so racers would see them and go down to them.

With our lines moving in closer at the end, we were creating a total bottleneck. Racers seemed annoyed, and there was a lot of unnecessary traffic. So, something needed to be done.

First, I took it up with one of the people in the black shirts. We green shirts were just there to help, and the black shirts were there to organize, answer questions, and help guide us.

So, first, I deferred to the correct hierarchy – asking the black-shirted person above me. And that person was too busy doing a bunch of other things (which I could totally understand – I’m sure they have a lot of responsibility). At that point, I figured we green-shirted people obviously needed to figure out a solution on our own.

I started going to the other people who seemed to be noticing that our setup was terrible. And I said, “At the very least, we should make 3 lines [to cover more of this very wide finish area, and help dispense people in a better way where runners will have more access to us].”

One person I was talking to was this woman I thought might be involved as perhaps some sort of scout leader or teacher of some sort. There was a group of high-schoolers there who seemed to know this woman, but I wasn’t totally sure. At the time, I thought enlisting her help may easily get that group to break off, and boom! We’d have our third line.

Well, she either was not in charge of that group, or chose not to change anything in the group, (or was just placating me when she said she was in complete agreement and that we needed to do something to change our set-up), because she did nothing with that group.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

(#38) Dining in the Dark (October 11, 2014) – Part 2 (End of the Night/Auctions)

November 20, 2014

Aurora De Lucia with other table hosts at The Joshua Project Foundation's Dining in the Dark event 2014 — The table hosts!

Picking up from last time –

At the end of the night, I also was to write the name of anyone at my table who won an auction item (along with the dollar amount of that item).

Then I even got to use one of those cool credit card swipe things that attaches to my phone to charge the person’s card.

Again, I only had 6 people. So, I got the money for donations, silent auctions, and live auction items done in a jiffy.

If I had to pick one thing that could’ve made this volunteer experience better, it would’ve just been knowing which copies of which receipts I need to give to which parties, ’cause there didn’t seem to be a definite answer on that. But, it all worked out (as far as I know, at least!).

Even though I did feel a little wonky about not knowing that I was totally doing the right thing with receipts (even though I did ask!), as I was leaving, I still somehow got the compliment I always love to get.

My volunteer coordinator said she thought I was fast and that I just “got it” (re: the whole night). So, yay for that. I still don’t know exactly what I do to earn that lovely yummy feel-goodness, but I’m gonna keep striving to hear that as much as I can at these various volunteer activities!

(Uh, #humlebrag much? I don’t know. Just let me have this y’all. I wanna be smart. So when I’m called out as such, I want to remember it! :-))

One thing I have learned about these events is that if you have a middle amount of disposable money (like enough to drop a grand without thinking about it, but not so much to go to really high-end silent auctions) then finding these smaller and newer charity events around town is a great way to get some incredible experiences at a big discount!

In the silent auctions I’ve worked this year, I’ve been amazed at how many had big trips (or even a backstage experience at Modern Family!) go for under retail value.

After I go on Wheel of Fortune and win $60,000 (this is just a dream at this point, as I am not in the contestant pool on Wheel – not yet anyway! ;)) – I’m totally gonna stop by a sweet silent auction, swoop in and grab something amazing, for a great deal, while doing good in the world. Doesn’t that sound awesome?

Final thought about this event: after if was over, we got thank you cards with Starbucks gift cards inside that had Braille on them! How dope and thoughtful, right?

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 48 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – The Psychologist Is Annoyed With Me – Part 2)

November 19, 2014

Picking up from last week –

We were talking about how annoyed the psychologist was with my “provocative comments” about mentioning The Price is Right but saying I wasn’t supposed to… So, picking up where I left off trying to explain myself –

I honestly just wanted to put her mind at ease (since *she* was the one who seemed so nervous, even though they sort of act like I was a basket-case…), but I couldn’t outright say that I was about to net some extra thousands of dollars to help pad my finances a bit.

I was trying to be cute! Maybe that’s the lesson. Never try to be cute.

Plus, I genuinely was really excited. I really was. I’d dreamed of playing that *exact* game on The Price is Right since I was a little girl. And we were getting close to my episode date. And I was telling everyone to watch – strangers on the plane, the front desk people at the gym – everyone!

Maybe that was wrong. I felt I couldn’t help myself. Most people seemed excited for me. But after reading these comments in the psychologist’s report, I can tell I was actually probably annoying a lot of these strangers. And that makes me feel awful.

But for the record, I wasn’t trying to be provocative. Again, I was trying to cut the tension with something fun. I was trying to ease her mind about finances. And I wasn’t trying to be all “oooh, this is such a big secret, I’m so provocative.” I just truly was only allowed to say “watch the show.” I couldn’t say anything else under penalty of death (hyperbole, a bit) because of that CBS contract.

I will also admit that I did mention it in my talk with the social worker as well, ’cause they asked if I got anxious or had fast heartbeats. Again, I was so obsessed with cutting the tension and trying to be cute (which I should’ve just realized was absolutely never going to happen), that I said something like, “Generally no. But it’s possible I was anxious in one of the few situations where it’s completely allowable. DVR Price is Right to find out. *wink*… No, but seriously. I’m good. I’m not anxious. My heartbeats are fine. *genuine smile*”

Was that over the top? Looking back on it, yes. Was that totally annoying? Yes. I can see that now. And I’m honestly very sorry. I was absolutely not trying to be a jerk. I was just way too excited about the show, and way too nervous about cutting the tension. I see I took it too far. And for that I’m really sorry (even though I guess that doesn’t really matter now…)

And I’ll pick up here on Sunday.

(#38) Dining in the Dark (October 11, 2014) – Part 1 (An Easy, Breezy, Fun Event)

November 18, 2014

Aurora excited with her red hand sign and blindfolds at The Joshua Project Foundation Dining in the Dark 2014 — Gearing up and getting stoked – with the sign for my red group, and some blindfolds for them to wear

What a cool event! I wanna go back next year.

The Joshua Project Foundation was started by a 7-year-old and his family. The mission is to get more Braille labels in grocery stories so blind and visually impaired people can continue to live with more independence.

At this Dining in the Dark event, guests are blindfolded before they go into the dining room. The goal is that guest basically experience what it’s like to have dinner as a blind person. Everyone really seemed to love it – and to be amazed at how hard it was to do simple things, such as drink from your glass or butter your bread, when you couldn’t see.

I got to be a table host, which meant I was responsible for everyone at the red table. I gave them blindfolds before going in, led them to their seats and made sure they sat down safely, and then I hung out in case I needed to lead anyone to the bathroom.

Most tables were full, but mind happened to have 6 people(!) not show up. (Each table was supposed to have 12 people.) So, I had an entire side of the table all to myself. I sat across from the 6 people at my table and talked to them. The wait staff even brought me all the same courses as the guests!

I was all, “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’m just a volunteer.” But they were so cool and nice, and they’re like, “We have the food already. You might as well eat it.”

I probably didn’t need to stuff my face with a number of courses, but I did! And it was delicious.

(I didn’t get the main course though, as it was steak and seafood – and I’m still on my vegetarian/vegan challenge. They did have vegetarian options. But, since I wasn’t even supposed to be getting food in the first place, I was so not about to be like, “uh, yeah, and may I please have the vegetarian option?”)

Basically, it was an amazing and easy night, full of scrumptious food. And I’ll finish this story out next time.

(#37) Long Beach Marathon Expo Bib Pickup (October 10, 2014) – Part 3 (Bibs & A Moral Quandary – Part 2))

November 17, 2014

Picking up from last time –

So, we sent the woman to Solutions, despite her (true) protests of “but he had to electronically sign one when he signed up!”

(I’d still love to know what the deal is with all that. Maybe electronic signatures don’t hold up in court? But then how are these pages full of bib sign-out signatures that are supposedly waivers going to hold up, if it comes to that? Of course, I’m not a lawyer. So, what do I know? Nothing. So… moving on…)

Anyway, when she returned, she said, “They told me the electronic one is enough.” Now, she said it in a pretty frantic way – like the way someone would say it if she were lying, and grasping at straws, and doing absolutely anything to get her husband’s bib.

And I was preeeeetty sure they did not say that at solutions, as they’d already told us, “People must bring a signed waiver to pick up a packet. Absolutely no exceptions.” So, if the solutions table was going to give an exception to a no exceptions rule, I’d think they’d handle it quietly, or at least come over and tell us, “Hey, you know how we said no exceptions? Well, we’re gonna make an exception…”

Now, I never like the feeling of being lied to. However, I wasn’t mad at this woman because when you’re backed into a corner, and you’re desperate, and you’ve paid for the bib, and this is the only time you can get to the expo – I understand you’re fighting for survival in whatever way you can. She wasn’t lying to manipulate or be a jerk. She was just trying to protect herself and her husband.

And she was taking a risk that none of us would walk over to solutions to double check her story. But, I’m sure she could see we were understaffed, and most people were working more than one bib station at their table. And the expo was just starting to pick up with more people… So, her chances were pretty okay that a volunteer might either believe her or just show some compassion (maybe too much compassion, depending on how incredibly important these waivers are), and let her have the bib.

Now, I’m not going to say definitively in writing on a public forum whether someone did or didn’t give her her husband’s bib (though if I were you, I’d be willing to bet he got to run). But, I’m curious (if you’re reading along), how do you feel about the scenario? Would you have given it?

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 47 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – The Psychologist Is Annoyed With Me – Part 1)

November 16, 2014

Picking up from yesterday –

The psychologist also said I made a point of making “provocative comments”

– ‘e.g. talking about a television show she will be on, though she prefaced it with the fact that she was ‘not supposed to talk about it’.’

Look, let me take a breath for a sec on to say that when I was first reading through these notes, I was just mad (about so many things… the rejection and not feeling heard and all that jazz). But as I kept reading, I actually started to feel bad.

I really do.

I do not want to be the kind of person that people put up with when I’m around, and then talk behind my back about how annoying I am.

I am totally aware that I’m sort of loud, and I’m really outgoing. Sometimes I can be a bit much. Even my closest friends say I’m intense (which I actually take as a compliment and most of the time view as a good thing).

However, I know I can be the sort of person you need a break from. I try to generally keep things to normal fun human level, but I understand that I can be a handful.

In fact, just recently, when my dad was telling me a story about when I was a little girl, I said, “Gee, I sound like such an adorable handful.” And my dad said, “I don’t know that a more accurate description of you has ever been uttered… except it might be more than a handful. You’re like two handfuls.”

So, I get it. But, some people like the outgoingness. I try to keep a balance. But geez. I don’t want to be so annoying and so story-telly that people cannot stand to be around me. So I feel bad!

(Genuinely, I feel bad.)

She also said my comments were “mostly tangential from any direct question that was asked.”

…But in my opinion, I didn’t bring big things up for the fun of it. I brought things up because she asked me. When she asked about my hobbies, and I said running, and she asked me to elaborate on running – I’d recently finished my big project. To me, it made sense that the 52 half marathons came up. But apparently not to her.

The Price is Right thing came up because she was really not letting go when it came to finances. She seemed extremely concerned that I wasn’t working at the time. So, I tried to – in sort of a cute way – kind of imply “well, if a nice extra chunk of money were about to come into my life, that might put your mind at ease… of course I can’t give specifics as to what I won. But just DVR TPiR. *wink*”

And we’ll pick up continuing this thought next week.

(#37) Long Beach Marathon Expo Bib Pickup (October 10, 2014) – Part 2 (Bibs & A Moral Quandary – Part 1))

November 15, 2014

Yesterday, I mentioned we didn’t really have to deal with any problems.

However, there was one woman who actually may or may not have gotten her problem solved at our bib pickup (instead of the solutions table). She was supposed to be picking up a bib for her husband, and didn’t have a signed waiver. The rule was we absolutely had to have a signed waiver to give out a bib. She said, “but he electronically signed one when he got his bib!”

She’s right about that part, you always do that for races. Yet again, I don’t truly understand all the waiver business.

Anyway, judging by how desperate she was, I’m thinking she would’ve forged it – if she could have. There weren’t any blank copies of waivers anywhere, and there wasn’t a printer available to people where she could’ve printed one.

Usually, there are blank copies of waivers and/or printers everywhere at these things. I think the reason there weren’t any at this expo was probably specifically to curb people forging signatures of other people, as race participants there to pick up their own bibs just had to sign the paper in front of us.

I didn’t realize how super serious this whole – no blank waivers anywhere – thing was so serious until someone from the solutions table walked down our row telling all of us that there were no blank waivers available anywhere in the expo, and if people didn’t have them, we had to send them out to get one – no other options.

And I held up a small stack of blank waivers, and said, “Oh, someone printed too many and left these with me. So, I have some.” She grabbed them out of my hand and said to tell no one they existed. Then she left with them. I imagined her shredding them with how serious she was making the whole waiver thing.

So, getting back to this woman who was absolutely desperate in trying to pick up her husband’s bib – when she first came to us, we dutifully sent her away, all, “So sorry. There’s just nothing we can do.”

I wish I’d had my waiver stack to give her one! Technically, all I need is a signed waiver. If she doesn’t sign it in front of me, who am I to say she didn’t meet her husband in the parking lot?

Sorry, is that too “by the book” logic-y? Even if I did have waivers to give, should I have refused if I was pretty sure she went out of my eyesight and signed? Not that it truly matters, since it’s a moot point, since I didn’t realize waivers were so very precious at this expo – until I’d already shown my precious loot! *dum dum duuuum* (scary chords)

Feel free to give me your thoughts so far, and I’ll finish this story in part 3.

(#37) Long Beach Marathon Expo Bib Pickup (October 10, 2014) – Part 1 (Just a Basically Straightforward Day)

November 14, 2014

I spent so very much time talking all about my first ultramarathon, that now there’s a lot of other stuff to catch up on! So, let’s move on back to some volunteer activities we missed.

I handed out half marathon bibs to people at the Long beach expo. I’d imagined what it was like to be behind the table (since I’m often in front of it). So, I went to find out for myself.

It’s all pretty straightforward, really. Someone gives you a bib number. You find the bib (they’re in numerical order), then check the name on the back of the bib against the name on the photo ID.

You glance at the ID and the person. (Sometimes people don’t totally look like the photos on their IDs, but I trusted everybody was who their ID said they were. They all looked close enough.) Then you hand over the bib.

They sign the paper in front of you, which I was told acts as another waiver. I don’t totally understand that process because the only thing on that paper is names and blanks for signatures. So, if they don’t even have waiver wording to look at, I don’t understand how that paper counts as a waiver.

I just remember in volunteer training, one of the trainers said that if a participant is picking up for a friend we must get the signed waiver for the friend who wasn’t there, but we didn’t need a signed waiver from the person because they’re signing the sign in sheet – which acts as the waiver…

Anyway, other than not totally understanding the ins and outs of why that form counts as a waiver, the whole thing was pretty straightforward. We didn’t really have to deal with many problems as if someone’s bib number was wrong, we asked them to go double check on computers at the end of our row. (And usually when they did, they found the right number.)

If there was any problem beyond that, we just sent them to the solutions table. I’d really love to work a solutions table to see how problems are dealt with, but I think probably only real staff members ever work those, as you’re dealing with different varying problems all day long.

I do have a little specific story about one such problem that we’ll get to in part 2.

Both other than that, it was a very straightforward gig. They even fed us breakfast snacks and lunch as well.

During downtime, I’d group safety pins into groups of 4 (connecting them – instead of having people grab 4 and keep hold of all of them separately). I know it’s a really small thing, but people seemed to like it. Sometimes the little things make all the difference.

So, there you have it – the mostly uneventful day at the Long Beach Half Marathon expo. (Though there is a semi-funny story about needing to pee that I’ll get to in my kidney story. And there is a hopefully somewhat interesting moral quandary that we’ll get to in part 2!)

The Tiny Aftermath of My Ultramarathon – Part 2 (Ow, the Massage, Consarn It!)

November 13, 2014

Aurora crying in pain after her deep tissue massage — It’s been a while since we’ve had a crying picture here on the blog. About time, huh? Here I am in pain from my massage (which we’ll so get to in this post)

Picking up from last time –

So, she’s working on my back. And whatever is happening is hurting like crazy.

But I’m trying to take it since she already did this whole thing at the beginning of are you suuuuure you want a deep tissue massage?

I’m all stubborn and for some reason, I think it’s so important what this stranger thinks of me and if she thinks I’m strong enough to handle a deep tissue massage.

But as she’s working on me, it’s feeling like she’s doing something to my nerves or something back there (I’m not totally sure) – but no matter what it is she’s working on, it doesn’t feel like my muscles.

Anyway, I power through, but am in pain throughout the day (which seems to almost be getting worse). I get to sleep, but wake up in the middle of the night. Finally, the next morning I know I have to do something (besides cry about it). So, I looked up a chiropractor on yelp. (If only I’d used yelp for my massage therapist, right?)

Thankfully, I find this spectacular chiropractor in Ohio who sees me right away. (Tiny side story: My parents were using both cars and the cab company didn’t have any cabs available in the near future (ah, the Midwest). So, amazing B came to the rescue and drove me there!)

When I got there, I was told, “no wonder you’re in pain! Your ribs have been misplaced.” Crack, crack, crack. A few adjustments later, I was so happy!

So, what did we learn from this (hopefully)?

1) Maybe consider looking up reviews of massage therapists before visiting them. Those online review sites exist for a reason. I get doing things on a whim, but I guess massages are more important to get right than I’d initially thought (though I don’t know why I didn’t think it would be important to get a reading on the person who’s going to be adjusting my precious, precious body).

2) Maybe don’t care what some stranger thinks about what you can/cannot take – and if something is not good for you, don’t let your stubbornness get in the way. Perhaps don’t constantly be always out to prove something. (‘Cause in this scenario, what are you honestly trying to prove?)

3) Don’t be afraid to voice your opinions/concerns. Yes, a massage therapist knows more about the body in general than I do. But I also know some stuff about my body. And if I want a lot of pressure on my legs and not much on my back, it wouldn’t hurt to ask for that. As Sheryl Sandberg says, Lean In!

Will I learn, and avoid something like this next time? Let’s hope so!

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 46 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – Starting the Psychologist’s Notes)

November 12, 2014

Picking up from Sunday –

Finishing out her summary, she does say in here, “patient reports that she would rather do anonymous donation so that the transplant outcome is unknown to her.” So, apparently she did hear that, even though earlier in this very same document she implied I was on the fence as to whether I wanted to do an anonymous or directed donation.

So, basically I don’t completely and totally trust their perceptions of me if details are changing a little throughout the document. I know it’s small stuff. But if we’re soooo professional here, and we can’t cut any tension or have any fun, then shouldn’t we be getting all the details right – even the minuscule one? I’m just saying…

(Okay, I mean, I’m nit-picking and being a little unfair at this point. That really was a small thing and no I’m being a bit too attack-y just in my anger… So, moving on.)

Basically, her summary at the end of the document was that she was wary because of the things I talked about earlier in her report…

And now let’s get to (dum dum dum – scary chords) the psychologist.

In her very first paragraph she again mentions that she’s nervous about me wanting to be liked… She states in here that I made multiple comments about wanting to make people proud of me by donating.

I am genuinely sorry if it came across that way, but I would be willing to bet money that I never actually said that. I’m actually genuinely confused, curious, and a little concerned about how she could get that impression.

I want to be proud of myself. I want to change someone’s life. But in absolutely no way am I doing this to make anyone proud of me. Who would be proud?! My dad is nervous and thinks I’m a little crazy. (Granted, that’s his reaction to a lot of my various adventures… but, you know, in a very fatherly/loving way.)

So, I’m sorry if anything I did made it seem that I was doing it to make someone proud. But that’s so silly. I am absolutely only doing it to try to help someone get out of the hospital lifestyle. I remember how inconvenient and not great it was. If I can keep someone from living that life, then that’s what I want to do!

That’s it. No hidden motives. No nothing else. And I’m sad if somehow I said something that made her feel differently.

All I can hope is that she really wasn’t listening all that well – or that she was projecting or something. Who knows.

We’ll pick up more with what she had to say on Sunday.

The Tiny Aftermath of My Ultramarathon – Part 1 (No Workouts & Going in For a Massage)

November 11, 2014

Aurora drinking planet smoothie — one of the many Planet Smoothies had while in Ohio – as every time I’m there I try to have Planet Smoothie at every available opportunity 🙂

We went through a very detailed story of the race. So, why not mention the details – what happened when it was over?

At the end of that week, I would have to take one last kidney test (to try to give a kidney to a stranger, if you’re new here).

Due to the nature of the test (measuring protein in the urine – which sometimes can look high, even if it’s not, if too much exercise is involved), I was not allowed to work out for 5 days before the test.

That meant no working out for me after my ultra! I still went for little walks around the local mall, and I stretched out a bit (though I probably should’ve stretched more). I would’ve loved to have worked out more, but it was what it was.

Technically, I could’ve done some recovery runs and waited longer to do that test… But the whole reason I planned the test at that time was so I could work out as hard as I could before having to take 5 whole days off (eesh – knowing a 5-day workout break would be totally lame).

Anyway, it was fine – not an ideal recovery, but with the walking every night, it wasn’t a disaster.

Wanna know what was a disaster? My deep tissue massage.

I don’t get massages often. I think it had been over a year since I had one. But I decided that since I’d worked really hard on my longest race yet, and since I had a chill week with no real working out, I’d treat myself to a deep tissue massage.

I’d only ever had one deep tissue massage in my life, and it was wonderful and rejuvenating! So, I thought this would be too. It was not.

I don’t want to make the massage therapist sound bad. I’m sure she’s a fine enough person. But from the moment I went in, I felt a little on the defensive when she was all, “Are you sure you want a deep tissue massage?” “Um, yes?”

She said deep tissue massages were more intense than normal massages, which I’d heard before. But when she started on my legs, it didn’t seem that intense at all.

I’d said I’d done an ultramarathon and that my legs needed the most work, but she told me that when she does deep tissue massages, she mainly focuses on the back, and gives normal pressure to everything else…

But my back feels fine. It’s the part of my body least in need for a deep tissue massage.

Yet, I didn’t pipe up. I figured with 16 years of experience she must know best. Did she?

This is where I’ll pick up tomorrow.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 22 (Final Thoughts – Uh, I Did An Ultramarathon?)

November 10, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I just wanted to write some final thoughts… ‘Cause what in the world? How did I become an ultramarathoner?

It is so funny how capable we all are. I entertained the idea that probably one day I’d want to do an ultra. But I figured that was something that would happen deep into the future. An ultramarathon just sounded far – oh so far!

But then I just kind of fell into this trifecta-in-a-day (that I thought would be a little less than a marathon) and boom. I got there, and I learned it was technically an ultramarathon. So, I did it. What was I gonna do, just not do it? (That’s obviously crazy talk.)

As a somewhat recent Grey’s Anatomy episode said, “When the world gives you more than you bargained for,you usually end up glad you got it.”

I realize a 50k is the baby ultramarathon. It’s basically the smallest one you can do. Usually, when people talk about ultras, they’re talking about 50 or 100 milers. So, I realize I may not officially be one of the cool kids yet. But it’s still pretty cool to say, “I’m an ultramarathoner!”

Part of the reason I’ve been more likely to talk about this as my ultramarathon instead of a Spartan race is because we could still debate if I was Spartan enough with all my burpees and helpful boosts and such. I mean, I did it. But I didn’t do it as hard as some.

But the one thing I definitely did was get all those miles in, baby! So, that much we can say with certainty.

…Or at least as much certainty as we can. Everyone, all day, at the Spartan race had slightly different answers for race distances. But based on mile markers and what official Spartan people said, I believe the day was a bit over a 50k (31 miles).

There were a number of racers who asked on social media how many people finished the trifecta. I’d love to know! Spartan has results sections for each individual race, but nothing for the trifecta.

I don’t know why Spartan won’t release them, but curiosity has died down as I guess we’re all just figuring, “Well, I finished. Does it reeeeeally matter how many other people did?” (But it sort of does, right?) However, I guess that’s not the Spartan way – to concern yourself too much with comparing yourself to others, when you could compare yourself to you.

I did see people quit. At the gear tent between my Beast and Super, as it was wildly cold and people were tired, I saw people say, “Forget it. Give me my bag. I’m going home,” which shocked me. But some people were just done. Thankfully, I was not one of them.

I made it through. (And I would absolutely love to try a trifecta-in-a-day again!)

I’ve now done a Spartan in 104 degree heat and one in temps in the 40s with rain and hail. What’s next? Bring it on! AROO

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 45 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – Do I Honestly Have No Idea How To Interview?)

November 9, 2014

Picking up from Wednesday –

Now we get to her summary and recommendations. She mentions in here that I said, “I just want you to like me… I just want us all to be friends.” And she mentions it as though it’s a genuine concern that she has.

Now, when you see that sentence in writing, I think there are so many ways you can take it! It sounds as though she took it as a genuinely scared wide-eyed girl hoping people really liked her.

I meant it as a “I’m trying to have fun and cut the tension in here. I’m gonna give one of my little shoulder shrugs with the smile like ‘haha. Let’s all just get along *smile*” But no! The tension is *never* allowed to be cut in that room.

I’ll admit, I was nervous. But I don’t really care one way or another if this social worker actually likes me outside of this weird little context. Why would I care? All I was truly nervous about was that this interview would decide for another human if she or he would get to live!

Seriously. That’s not hyperbole. Kidney transplants are actually life and death. If I failed this interview (which unfortunately I did), more likely than not, someone was going to die. Even if they didn’t die, their life would stay in this trapped phase, which was what I really wanted to help save someone from.

And that’s a lot of pressure on an interview!

What’s weird is I consider myself great at interviews. I get almost every job for which I score an interview. I call myself “great in the room – just get me in the room. I’ll get the job.” And most of the time that really does happen.

Employers commend me for my demeanor! I’ve been called “adorable,” “fun,” “a light in the office,” “a pleasure to have around.” I do not say those things to brag. I just say them because my perception is so off! If I’m getting jobs and people say I’m a great interviewee, and I’m getting all this positive reinforcement – then how is everything I know about myself wrong?

How is a skill I truly believe I have just totally not there?

I didn’t act any different in this interview than I do in others. I actually said in early job interviews, “I’m a little nervous.” (I don’t say that so much anymore, ’cause now that I’ve done so many, I’m generally less nervous.)

But back when I did say it, I’d make a semi-silly face with a big smile as I said it. I’d say it in a (hopefully) fun way, while I tried to befriend the interviewer… And it worked! It always worked!

It broke tensions. We had a little laugh. We talked about hobbies the interviewer had, and we moved on. So, if that’s what I always understood to happen in interviews… why wasn’t it happening here!?

And this is where I’ll pick up on Wednesday.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 21 (Finishing the Race (& Eating, Showering, and Such))

November 8, 2014

Aurora with messy hair and muddy neck after her Spartan trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — A silly selfie before my shower to document one more time the mess I am after the race

Picking up from yesterday –

I came to the fire, and happily jumped over it one last time! Then I ran through the finish, and got my medal and my t-shirt ticket. (And I had my timing chip cut off.)

I went over to the merchandise area, turned in my tickets, and got my t-shirts. I’d learned from the last Spartan race that in Spartan shirts, I’m a small. (A small!) So, I got my 3 shirts.

It was perhaps a little silly to take all 3 (one of each race) when they were all the same. But I’m happy I did. They’re super comfortable. I wear them all the time. And this way, one is practically almost always clean.

I grabbed my bag from bag check. And I used the $5 merchandise credit for a patch. I don’t know where I’m gonna put the patch, but that’s a cool thing I love about Spartan – even though you have to pay to check your bag, you get to use that money toward merch. So, woo hoo!

Once I got to the car, I’d forgotten I’d packed that extra post-race bag. I was so pleased with myself for all my extra kind bars and a banana and those precious extra towels, along with sandals to change into – and a whole ‘nother clean outfit.

I didn’t know where the showers were. I didn’t even know if they were still running at that point. It was dark, late, and cold. I knew everybody wanted to go home. So even if showers were still running, I didn’t want to be the last runner taking up time and space.

So, I just ripped my clothes off by the car, hoping no one was really paying attention.

I toweled a bunch of mud off and changed into my clean clothes.

I thought about getting food on the way back to my dad’s house, but I decided I was more tired than hungry. So, I went straight back to where I was staying, jumped on a quick shower, then went to bed.

I thought I would sleep forever. I slept for 4 or 5 hours. I woke up starving! My dad is a very early riser, and it felt like I was a little girl all over again when I saw him and said, “Daaaaddy, can you please take me to buy some chips? I’m soooooo hungry.”

Technically, I’m obviously capable of driving myself. But I was tired and cranky and wanted Daddy to drive me. And he did. I then proceeded to eat a party size bag of chips within the next few hours.

Later, I ran all my laundry through at a laundromat (so as not to get my parent’s machines gunky)… (I did run the laundromat machines an extra cycle after my clothes were done to be respectful of their machines as well, though.) I also ran my own clothes through 3 times! Stuff was so dirty. It all got cleaner each time.

So there you have it. Clean clothes. A full stomach. A happy girl… An ultramarathoner!

I will give a final few thoughts soon.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 20 (A Few Last Things Wrapping It Up)

November 7, 2014

Picking up from last time –

As I got close to the end of the Sprint, I was elated.

I’d made it through rain and hail.

I totally forgot to mention it rained and hailed during the Super – as all of that was barely on my radar. All I could think was, “time, time, time, time. Oh, it’s hailing on me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long did that mile take?”

And not to over-dramatize it or anything. It was tiny hail. We were fine. We were cold. But we were fine.

While I’m going back to the stress of the Super, I have one more small story I forgot to put in there. I was going along and passing the barbed wire, getting down for my burpees, when this really nice woman who seemed to be some pretty in charge person was walking from the opposite direction checking in on people.

She looked at me and asked, “Are you doing the trifecta?” My heart practically stopped as I said, “Yes.” I was terrified she was going to say I’d missed some cutoff time or something and I’d have to make a huge scene begging for my life. I was also afraid she might say something about being disappointed about already burpee-ing out of things in only the 2nd race.

However, she just said, “Great job, Spartan.” The kindness in her voice was lovely. Since Spartans/Spartan Race people are super hardcore and all, I think I always expect them to be a little more judgmental than they actually are. Sure, they want to push themselves and others. But I’ve seemed to gather at these races that if you’re trying, people will not get on you about being too weak. They’ll just give you a boost and be supportive. It’s interesting.

Anyway, back into the Super. While, sure, those of us left were walking, that was not the case for some. Faster people had finished all three probably hours ahead of me. When I was on the Super, I saw some people on the Sprint.

So, surprise, surprise, I was not fast. However, I did it! (So, yay.)

Once I was coming up to those final mud obstacles, I actually thought this time around about just going in. At the end of the Super, there wasn’t enough time to get warm all over again. But at the end of the day, what did I care how cold I was? I was about to go in the car and warm up.

However, the choice was not mine to make. A volunteer was there to say it was too cold and too dangerous in the dark to be submerging in that water. I was kind of relieved not to be having to make any decisions at the end of such a tiring day.

Finally, I came to the fire – the precious, precious fire – the last obstacle of the race.

And this is where I’ll end tomorrow.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 19 (Getting Toward The End of the Sprint)

November 6, 2014

Picking up from last time –

While it’s interesting to me to see how different obstacles felt different based on the day (and even time of day), I also find it interesting to see how other people deal with obstacles.

Of course, in my mind, there are obstacles that are very hard and very easy. But those opinions are not necessarily universal truths.

For instance, there’s this one obstacle with basically squares of, I don’t know what you call it, but there’s a picture of it in an earlier post.

I never think anything of that obstacle. In fact, I kind of like when it comes along because I just think “ah yes! The simplest thing! Very easy climbing with tons of places to put your hands and feet.”

But when I’d done it in the morning, there were a few people around me practically shaking with how nervous they were about it!

There were people who were sort of afraid of heights and just didn’t feel good about that obstacle. And I don’t know if it made it better or worse for them that during the Beast, the whole thing was filled (there was even a line behind us)!

(People were way more spread out later in the day.)

Anyway, I just find the differences between people and obstacles and all that jazz interesting.

Going toward the end, there was this area that was more open that the majority of the race. There weren’t really any trees around and you could see people around you – even if they weren’t close to you.

Once I got to that point in the Sprint, I was actually getting a bit of a second wind (a pleasant surprise). I was maybe ready to do some running (I mean, a teensy bit of very slow running, but still – I felt energized).

However, I was on a different energy schedule than people around me, as every person I saw was walking. I stopped a couple of times to talk with people in our last mile, before jogging (oh so slowly jogging) on. I didn’t care about my time, or getting to the finish line as quickly as possible.

There was still plenty of time to spare. I was going to finish something like half an hour before the cut off. So, I was just enjoying the moment and the people around me.

And this is where I’ll pick up tomorrow.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 44 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – Finishing Out That Checklist)

November 5, 2014

Picking up from Sunday –

Under cognition, they clicked “noticeable impairment of:” Then they added in that space “denies impairments of memory, but inquires… ‘Why do you ask about memory?'” (That was after they’d asked me something like if I had a good memory.)

Just for the record, I wasn’t asking because I have a bad memory. I actually was asking because I get complimented a lot on my memory. I love being able to remember things. My memory is important to me. I hadn’t heard any specific risks when it came to memory, and I was just curious why they were asking the question – if the surgery could affect my memory, or just why that question came into play – if it’s anything I need to be concerned about.

And if anyone could’ve ever answered any of my questions with just simple straight answers instead of getting immediately defensive and answering back every question with a question, then perhaps some of this could’ve been avoided!

And if they were worried about my memory, why didn’t they just give me a memory test instead of asking me if I have a good memory? That would’ve been way more conclusive no matter what my answer had been.

In the mental status exam portion, they said my mood was euphoric. So, that’s interesting, I guess? I certainly didn’t freaking feel euphoric with them.

They also said “affect was inappropriate at times”?!

The dictionary says affect is “emotion or desire, esp. as influencing behavior or action.” They didn’t give any notes in that section. So, I don’t know why they thought my emotions or desires were inappropriate.

(Sure, I can be “inappropriate” sometimes (can’t we all? ;)), but I don’t think they meant in that way – and I certainly wasn’t inappropriate in that way in the interview.) The point is, I don’t know what’s going on in that section. Sigh. Moving on.

They also said my insight was fair. Well, at least I got a fair. That’s still not good. (I don’t know where fair falls on their little psych scale.) But I suppose it’s better than “poor,” which I assume is on there.)

Then there’s a bottom portion that says “phychosocial concerns.” And this is where I could tell that I don’t think they totally listened to me. It says, “Patient initially flew to Ohio because of a person she met on matchingdonors.com; however, she is not a match. Patient now unsure whether she would want to pursue paired exchange or non-direct donation.”

Let me tell you, patient is sure! Once I knew you could give to a stranger, I absolutely wanted to. I don’t want to pick the person! I am sure of that. So, I didn’t like that they made it sound like I was on the fence. I did adore that guy I was being tested for, but I’m sorry to say I can’t jump in a paired exchange with him. I’m letting fate and UNOS take me wherever I need to go…

They also mentioned “Patient describes situations that involve impulsive behavior.”
As far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t make me crazy or irresponsible. That makes me fun.

Another thing they said: “Patient has a history of job transitions in a short amount of time… endorsing a history of impulsive decision making.”

That is actually not impulsive decision making. That is just my industry. That is how my employment works. I work a show. We go on hiatus. I work another show. I’ve returned to future seasons of some shows. I’ve returned multiple times to the same companies for other shows, even if the show I started on ended.

It’s not like I never make my way back to working with the same people…. But working on a lot of different things doesn’t mean I’m impulsive. It means I work in entertainment… and thankfully, I actually work!

Finally she mentioned recommending getting a strong support system… yet again. Eesh.

This is where I’ll pick up Sunday.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 18 (Differences in Perceived Obstalce Toughness From Race to Race)

November 4, 2014

Aurora holding on to a wall, ringing a bell at night during the Spartan Ohio trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — (I might look cool here, but I’m gonna ruin the magic and tell you I totally needed a boost on this wall.)

Picking up from last time –

The Sprint at night was so chill. Everything was easier.

Once we made it to the scary log area (where the girl had fallen earlier), the volunteer said we could try them if we wanted, or it was 5 burpees. Only 5, baby. The Sprint was basically like a vacation after the 25 miles and crazy obstacles of the first 2 races.

As we chilled along in the practically empty Sprint, we came up to a tall wall (I forget if it was the 7 or 10 foot) and made our way over it. Only after we got past it, did we realize there was only a green and blue flag on it – not a red one.

(The green signified Beast obstacles, blue signified Super, and red signified Sprint.) Then we patted ourselves on the back nicely, and said, “that’s a great bonus” – which made us feel better about the things we got to go easy on (the 5 burpees at the logs, etc.).

One thing that was interesting to me about this race was the difference between how well I did on certain obstacles in Temecula (CA) vs. Cumberland (OH). Also, there was even a difference between how well I did things on the Beast vs. Super vs. Sprint all in the same day.

In Temecula, I totally killed it on the obstacle where you used a rope to help you walk up a slanted wall. In Ohio, I almost made it, and yet, ended up burpeeing out (in all 3 races!). I still tried to be smart and remember “it’s only simple physics. Use your brain!” And yet, I just couldn’t get it together.

In Temecula, I could not do the Hercules Hoist by myself. In Ohio, I did it all by myself on the Beast and the Sprint. In the Super, I got it most of the way and a volunteer helped me the last bit.

She even said, “I thought you were gonna have it without me.” And I think in that race it was a little mind over matter. I obviously was strong enough to do it (as I did it two other times). I don’t know if I stressed myself out on the Super or felt more tired by that point, since I was trying to go a little faster in that race, or what.

But to be strong enough to do it, weak enough to need help, then strong enough to do it later in the same day was a bit weird.

I definitely did, in general, feel the struggle as the race went on. I was still able to do things. But even shorter walls got harder and my muscles just got tired of hoisting myself over stuff.

But even if I was tired, I was tired and stoked. So stoked. As you know, making it to the Sprint was the toughest part of the day. So those last 5.5 miles were basically just a celebration. (*dances*)

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 17 (A Wee Bit of a ‘Fraidy Cat Sometimes)

November 3, 2014

Picking up from last time –

When I’d come to the net wall in the Beast, there’d been tons of people on it, and we were all trying to just get over. And after you got over, you then turned around and held tightly to keep it taut for whoever was behind you. And that just continued on and on with each passing person.

When I got there on the Super, I was alone. And the volunteer said the easiest way to do that obstacle was to climb up, then just flip over.

Uh, excuse me? I’m just gonna grab the top and flip my legs over in a little high-up somersault thing?

He was all, “yep.”

He offered to help guide me down (which he did).

It’s so funny when I have moments where I realize how super not cool and not fearless I am.

People tell me all the time that they think I’m fearless because I do races even if I don’t know anyone doing them, or because I’ll explore new areas alone, or because I’ll take trips or do semi-big things last minute (if it works out that way) because, why not?

And I always take this whole fearless idea as a lovely compliment that I appreciate. But anyone who thinks I’m fearless certainly hasn’t seen me around animals. And they also did not see me at this net wall thing with huge eyes over a little flip.

I think the reason I was afraid is because I don’t really believe in my upper body/core strength.

I’m so much stronger than I used to be, which is awesome. But I don’t know that I’m quite strong enough to be able to trust that I have perfect control when trying to flip my own body.

Granted, the net wasn’t all that high. Even if I’d fallen, what was the worst case scenario?

Of course, I did see that girl fall off a second log thing earlier in the race (that wasn’t super high up), but she fell with gusto and the loudness of that thump hurt – just hearing the sound stung. (Ow!) So I can only imagine the headache and bruises she had. (Oof. I hope she’s okay…)

I guess the moral of the story (as we actually already learned with the logs over water story, so you probably didn’t need this extra one) is I’m a big ‘fraidy cat who needs to work harder on living up to her labels of “fearless.”

Back to the Sprint, we did indeed flip over again (and I did indeed have someone ease me around as I did it).

And I’ll pick up with more of the Sprint next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 43 (Getting Into My Medical Chart! – First, The Checklist)

November 2, 2014

Picking up from Wednesday –

During the course of this story, I’ve mainly been talking about how I perceived what the medical professionals must be thinking of me. But now since I got my medical chart, what say you we go through it together?

First up, we have the nephrologist’s report. Nothing to write home about here. It basically says, ‘healthy white female seems genuinely interested in being a living kidney donor. She understands the risks, wishes to proceed, and I see no medical reason why she shouldn’t.’

We’ve got some papers with tons of numbers about blood pressure, blood tests, and all that jazz. (Oh so many papers. Oh so many tests.) Everything looks lovely on that.

As far as the paper on the chest x-ray, everything looks beautiful (except “3 sternotomy wires are noted in place.” It’s fine that they’re there, but you know, they can see them…)

CT angio looks great. My kidneys are about 11 x 5 centimeters, in case you’re curious.

And now, the moment we’ve been waiting for… What did the psychologist and the social worker say?

First, there’s a little check list. The second thing on the check list is “presentation.” And they check the line marked “alone.” Then they put an explanation by it! (They say I didn’t want my dad to take off work.)

That is true that I wouldn’t have wanted him to take a day off work, so that’s what I said on the spot when confronted about it. However, it didn’t even occur to me to ask him to come. No one told me to bring someone! How was I supposed to know?

I didn’t know I was going to get dinged because I didn’t want to drag someone to a day full of tests and interviews where he would’ve sat around and done nothing. Why would it have dawned on me to bring someone?

If it was that important to them that I show I have people in my life, why didn’t they let me know? I’m sure I could’ve brought someone had anybody mentioned at any time that bringing someone was important.

In the employment section, it says “patient is currently unemployed; previously worked as an assistant editor for a television show.” While I agree that that is a truthful statement, it’s not like “oh, at one time I worked and now I’m out of a job with no prospects.” This is my life. I work. Then I don’t. Then I do. Then I don’t. There’s always another job on the horizon.

I know I’m being a little too sensitive about how they phrased it, but because they kind of gave me a hard time about it, I am sensitive about it.

And we will get into oh so much more next Wednesday.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 16 (Starting the Precious, Precious Sprint)

November 1, 2014

Picking up from last time –

Once I started the Sprint course, this incredible, lovely, wonderful calm fell over me. With only 5.5 miles to go, and 3 hours to do it in, I was golden!

I found a friend along the route, and we did most of the race together. He does Spartan Races all the time. I didn’t even know there was a Spartan yearly pass until he mentioned it. We had a grand ol’ time on the course.

The Sprint had the least amount of time through the woody woods (and more time out in open areas). In the first two races, of course we ran by the Sprint turnoff both times. It always seemed to come oh so early. And this time – we got to take it!

At a place where all 3 courses intersected, there was this area where you could choose to go right or left. (I hear that’s a thing in most Spartan Races.)

On the Beast, I went right. I figured one thing that would be nice about doing the course multiple times is that I could try each side at least once. Well, apparently the right side was the “right” side, ’cause we didn’t have to do anything! Everyone on the left had to burpee along.

On the Super, I think a super cool person would’ve gone left no matter what left and right brought you – as the point would be to try everything you could out on that course.

Alas, when I got there on the Super, yet again, I was concerned with saving time. (I always had to save time!) So, I took the wussy (smart?) way and went through the no-burpee area… Though, I do think that area may have been longer… But easier. So, I dunno what the technically “correct” decision was.

And on the Sprint, once we got there, there was no choice anymore. Everybody went left – but they cut the burpees. I’m sure if we’d really, really wanted to, we could’ve gotten down and done some burpees. But when the volunteer said, “No burpees on this one, just go through,” I was all about it.

Later, as we kept moving through the woods, there was this kind of net thing that was hung up the way a wall would be. And you had to climb over it. For some reason, this surprised me every time. I was always hitting some kind of stride when I noticed – agh! That net wall again.

And I’ll pick up with the net wall next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 15 (Finishing the Super, Starting the Sprint)

October 31, 2014

Aurora jumping over fire at the Spartan Ohio Trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — (from the Super)

Picking up from last time –

As I started to get closer to the end of the Super, the 6 o’clock hour started to tick away, and I was pretty terrified.

When I got to the end, I elected to skip any obstacles with mud. I did not want to be freezing cold again as it was getting later in the day. I did not go in the gauntlet, or submerge myself under the wall as I did at the end of the Beast.

As I got down for some burpees before going to the finish line, one of the volunteers said, “I don’t fault anyone for doing whatever you need to at this point.”

That person was trying to be nice by telling me everything was totally cool and fine with not getting back in the mud. But of course I took it as, “ugh. I’m being pitied. That sucks! But I also didn’t pull a usual Aurora who’d think, “I’m not weak. I can do it!” – and then would most likely proceed to promptly turn around and get in the mud.

Nope, at this time I was exhausted (and semi-logical) Aurora who accepted that pity, did some burpees, and then went jumping over fire.

I made my way through the finish chute as quickly as I could – getting my timing chip cut off, grabbing another ticket for another shirt, and then running for my life over to the bag check area.

Aurora jumping over fire at the end of the Beast at Spartan Ohio trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — (from the Beast)

That’s where I saw a sight that tickled me, and was one of my happiest moments of the day. By this point, it was about 6:20pm. We had 10 minutes! So, everyone was running over to bag check while just yelling out their last name (to get their next bib). It was hilarious.

Those 8 or so minutes I spent in gear check were so interesting to me – watching everyone hurriedly get ready.

People were shaking as we were trying to put the band through our timing chips. Thankfully, the nice volunteers helped us with that and said they’d basically become pros at it throughout the day.

Every person who walked up to the booth after I got there opened with, “What time is it?!” And volunteers patiently answered, “5 minutes to spare,” “2 minutes to spare,” etc.

I didn’t see anyone turned away, ’cause I was out of there just before 6:30.

As I was pinning my bib to my shirt, one person looked at me and sort of incredulously asked, “What are you doing?!”

Aurora in the dark about to jump over some fire at the Spartan trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — (from the Sprint)

I said I was putting on my bib, but was told that was basically a fool’s errand because bibs so frequently tear off. If you have your chip and your headband don’t waste your time with safety pins. It’s 6:25. Who has time for safety pins?!

That was some solid logic, but alas, my bib was already on. I then grabbed my glow bracelets, and realized I had no idea how to put them on. A spectator tried to help me get them over my hands – when we realized on accident that if you pulled hard, they came apart then snapped back together. Yay for teamwork (and happy accidents).

With barely any time to spare, I ran through the start – yelling out my catchphrase, “Let’s do it again!” as I ran past the DJ, giving him a high-5. And I’ll pick up with the Sprint next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 14 (My Last Time-Wasting Decisions In The Super)

October 30, 2014

Aurora at the top of a mesh-y climb thing at Spartan Ohio trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — I’m running out of daytime pictures. So have a night picture from the Sprint (coming up soon)

Picking up from last time –

The only other place I can think of where I really kind of wasted time – though it wasn’t necessarily a waste, because it was helping people (so if nothing else, at least we can call it my least heinous waste of time) – was at this other log balance thing.

I know I just talked about walking over logs length-wise on water, and now I’m talking about more balancing on logs. So, I really need to learn what these obstacles are called. But in the one I’m talking about now, there are little logs (I don’t think any were higher than 2 feet) coming up from the ground. They were all different heights and you had to balance as you walked across a line of them from one end to another.

Most people paired up on this so you had some one to lean on a bit as you made your way down the line of logs.

At this point in the Super, I’d started hanging out with a group of guys who’d also done the Beast. Once we got to the logs, we split off into teams and tackled the logs. Then we saw some individual racers coming, so we helped them. And as I thought we were about to leave, we saw another individual person come, and proceeded to help her too.

Now, on the one hand, I was so happy to be able to help people, ’cause I’d gotten boosts in the race. I love the community feeling of a Spartan Race, and I get excited when I can help people (as I’m not necessarily strong enough to help at every obstacle – but I certainly am at some!).

However, once we were to this point in the race (and I’d already totally wasted my time on that ridiculous walking around the lake business – which I was continuing to pay for with the stress I was feeling here), I just didn’t totally have the time to help people. I did it anyway, figuring, “what another minute?” (Though I still of course felt the stress, as I knew every minute counted.)

I also assumed that those 3 guys I was with must also be watching the time, as we all had to do the Sprint, right?

Nope. They were only doing the first two races. I learned that soon after this little row of logs thing, and they sent me off with their blessing, and I took off on a faster pace to try to make up some ground.

And I’ll pick up here next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 42 (Some of “The Aftermath” – Part 2 (Hearing About Surgeries From People In My Group))

October 29, 2014

Picking up from last time –

First a small thing that was bothersome – I felt like after I got my rejection, I was constantly seeing commercials for Donate Life. And there was a little part of me who wanted to jump through the TV every time I saw one! I’d think, “I’m trying here! I’m trying so hard.”

I know those commercials are just commercials, but it felt like this whole thing was being totally rubbed in my face every time I saw one (which seemed to be all the time…).

Another things that was sort of hard for me was hearing the stories of the people I’d met at Big Kidney Day. I kept in touch with two of them. And I was so happy they got to give their kidneys. Really. I’m wildly happy for them that it worked out.

But just because I’m happy for them doesn’t make it any easier to hear about how it was such an incredible, enlightening, amazing experience. They talked about the recovery not being bad at all, and the rewards being plentiful – feeling amazing and loving seeing the improved life of the donee.

All of that news is so wonderful! And it makes me believe even harder in kidney donation. But gee, was it a bit hard to hear – especially when I was hearing some of it while I was still in my mandatory 3-month “cool down” period – and they were giving kidneys.

I don’t want to sound selfish or needy, but there was a part of me that felt a little left behind and “why am I not good enough, but these people are?”

I’m sorry I’m maybe not explaining it well. But it was a little tough. That’s all.

Next time, we’ll get into my medical chart!

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 13 (Continuing To Be Pretty Much a Total Mess During the Super)

October 28, 2014

Aurora's bruised legs after the Spartan Trifecta-in-a-day Obstacle Mud Run 2014 — just showing off some post-race bruises on my legs

Picking up from last time –

After some burpees, I made my way out of the obstacle area, and tried to maneuver through the woods – around trees, and random drops, and more of that crazy, sticky mud.

I thought to myself, “Yes! This is all coming back to me. I knew we maneuvered through the woods and mud. Where in the world are all those people going who got to just stay on the path?”

And nearly as soon as I thought it, my time in the woods was over. It was such a short little trip. And where were we let out of the woods? Ah yes. You most likely guessed – right back out on that path (where we then went to woods on the other side of it)!

I don’t even want to estimate/think about/(obsess over) how much time I squandered with all that – too much! That’s how much. *shakes head at self*

I guess the lessons here are possibly – always listen, actually listen, and ask questions if you feel you heard something wrong. Also, maybe I should be a little more aware of my surroundings, and a little better with my internal map, by golly! If I’d remembered everything I’d done from that morning, I would’ve remembered we were back on the path in no time – and would’ve been less likely to doubt what I’d heard.

Alas, since we still haven’t figured out time travel (to go back and just take the path), the only thing I could do that at point was is pay the price for that dumb mistake later in the race. One of the big prices for me was burpeeing out of the barbed wire crawl – which made me super sad, because even though I’m always mentioning angry people in the barbed wire crawl, it’s still may favorite obstacle.

There’s just something about crawling around in the mud under this dangerous wire that feels powerful, yet playful and fun, all at the same time.

There were two in the race – one just for Beast & Super racers. And one for racers of all 3 (though that was shorter). So, in total, I still got to crawl under barbed wire 4 times (as I would’ve done it 5 had I gotten to do the first one in the super as well). So, I got a lot of barbed wire crawling – just not as much as I could’ve had!

There were some other places where ultimately, I was probably going to lose some time, but thankfully volunteers saved me from myself. I kind of got in this mind-space of, “Forget everything! Always do burpees. There is no time!”

Of course, sometimes it was obviously time beneficial to do the obstacle – for instance on the 7 foot wall. It looked high. I thought, “It’s gonna take me forever to find my footing and my strength.” But a volunteer gave me a boost and I was over in less than a minute. So, thank goodness for the amazing volunteers.

And I’ll finish up with the rest of the Super next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 12 (Making An Even Worse Decision On That Log Over Water Balance Obstacle During the Super)

October 27, 2014

Aurora De Lucia making a yelling face while at the Spartan Ohio trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — Since I’m sure you’re jonesing for more photos of the Hercules Hoist, since you’ve only seen 8 million them… 😛 I’m here to serve. 🙂

Picking up from last time –

As I got closer to the log balancing thing (I wish I knew what it was actually called, sorry) the second time around, I started to think about the obstacles ahead of me and how I was going to tackle them.

I figured that once I got to the water, I would just walk around the lake, and go straight to the burpee area – because I didn’t think I had enough time to crawl over the log again. (Plus, when crawling, your shins do touch the water, and I wanted to get as not-wet as possible. (I would just say stay as dry as possible, but I wasn’t dry. I didn’t know if any of us would ever be dry again…)

My lame and somewhat irrational fears about walking on the log still existed. So, if I couldn’t walk, and I couldn’t crawl, I’d just walk around and do some burpees.

Well, here’s where the idiotic part came in. Here’s the scene. We’re walking along this long pathway between two forest-y areas. On the left is the log and water and such.

So, I start going in that way to check out how I’m going to walk around this lake-like thing (instead of over it). Just a bit in the distance (at the actual obstacle), I hear the volunteer telling people they can either try again to walk over the logs, or their free to just keep walking forward…

Then I just assume I can’t possibly be hearing him right. How can they go forward? ‘Cause once we get around the lake-like structure, we walk through the forest… I remembered going through the forest, didn’t I? Isn’t that next?

Aurora on the ground at the Hercules Hoist in the Spartan Ohio Trifecta-in-a-day 2014 — …and here I am lying down – changing it up!

Believing I was making up dream scenarios in my head, instead of actually hearing him in the distance correctly, I kept trying to make my way around the lake – instead of thinking I could just go forward on the path.

Going around the lake proved to be way more difficult than I anticipated. I kept sinking into this weird sticky, melt-y, gooey mud. It was incredibly hard to walk through! And I pretty much felt as though I was watching my life flash before my eyes, as I thought about how much freaking time I was wasting!

At this rate, it would’ve been better to just go across the log – water touching my legs or not, who cares? I’m going to get stuck in this quicksand-y mud and die out here.

Sure enough, once I made it to the burpee area, I saw happy people continuing along the path instead of venturing off into the woods. The volunteer seemed to sort of be giving me a “what are you doing out there?” kind of look (as I was tripping all over myself, barely staying upright in that treacherous terrain). (Of course, I may have been imagining that look, as that’s how my own brain was looking at me.)

So what would’ve happened had I just stayed on the path (besides saving at least 10 precious minutes (though it felt like, and possibly was, so many more)?) We’ll get into that next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 41 (Some of “The Aftermath” – Part 1 (Matching Donors Reminders))

October 26, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I put “the aftermath” in quotes in the title because this whole thing really isn’t over yet. Is the eye of a storm the aftermath of it? But, this is the aftermath to kind of the first chunk of it all.

There were some various things that were hard for me to deal with after the first rejection.

I continued getting emails from MatchingDonors.org. I tried unsubscribing yet it proved unsuccessful. (You know those lists you get on and you feel like you’re never gonna get off of? :-P)

I was even called once to ask if I’d get tested to see if I were a match for someone. On the phone, I said, “Thank you for your call, but I’m really no longer interested in going through MatchingDonors. Can you please take me off the list?”

I haven’t gotten any more phone calls, but the emails still come sometimes. At this point, I’m not even worrying about how to more successfully unsubscribe, because I almost like getting them to remind me of my anger. I don’t (at all) want to be an angry person. But I do want to be a driven person fighting for what I believe is right. And my fight to give a kidney will not end until I have donated one.

I don’t really need reminders of how important this is to me. It lives with me every day. But I don’t mind getting those emails – just to give me a little extra push.

So anyway, these emails! Oh the emails.

They pick out a specific O positive person who’s looking for a kidney, talk about them a little and ask me to get tested since I could be a match. And the people in different emails are from all over the country. The emails state the all of my travel and everything would be paid for.

Sometimes I just want to break down and say, “it seems as though things would be so much easier through this site!” I don’t know if they would be or not, but my perception is that hospitals are partnering with MatchingDonors, and the hospitals perhaps actually want to help. And maybe if I had this company (MatchingDonors) fighting for me, my journey would be easier? I have no idea!

But there’s definitely a part of me that says, “this seems simpler, cheaper, and easier.” But there’s a bigger, louder part of me that says, “You cannot just decide whose life is worth more than another’s. You just do not want to do that. You have to go the blind route so it’s given to whoever has the highest need.”

(Plus perception is so often wrong. From the outside looking in, it seems like things have to be easier with this big company which seems to have ties to tons of hospitals, but maybe it’s just as hard. Heck, it could be harder! I don’t know.

I do know there were a couple of other rough things to deal with. And I’ll get to those next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 11 (Making Bad Decisions On That Log Over Water Balance Obstacle During the Beast)

October 25, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I like to believe I’m logical and smart, but there are choices I made during the Super that would lead you to believe those words are not true modifiers of me.

For one thing, I really wasted time in some areas, which made me way more stressed in others. The biggest glaring example of this was at the area of water where we were supposed to balance on logs to walk over the water to the other side.

I actually did this one wrong both times I saw it – in the Beast and in the Super.

During the Beast, I decided to sit down on the log, and crawl from one side to another instead of just walking. I know you’re technically allowed to get across in whatever way makes sense, and that sometimes obstacles are about brains more than about strength or balance/agility. But sometimes they are about balance and agility!

I think I have good balance. And I believe in my ability to balance. But I also don’t know how to swim. And I was also slightly nervous that the logs were close enough together that if I were to fall off, I could hit my head and break my neck and be paralyzed. (I thought the chance of that happening was incredibly, wildly small… But you know. Still.)

More so than that almost entirely irrational fear, I was afraid of something much more real. The volunteer who was running that section warned us all that lots of people were losing shoes in the water.

Since I can’t swim, if I lost my show in the water, it was all over for me. (I mean, not all over, obviously. It’s not over ’til it’s over.) If I’d lost a shoe, I would’ve just gone on shoe-less. I hadn’t brought extra shoes (which actually may have been smart, though it would’ve been pretty wasteful since after every mud run thus far, I’ve gotten rid of the shoes I used).

Even though I didn’t have shoes with me, I could’ve technically bought some at the merchandise table between races – if there was available time. But I was always counting on not having any extra time. And I didn’t want to do something like half the Beast (or who even knew, really, at that point, how many miles I had left?) without a shoe – in the mud. That sounded pretty terrible.

So, I totally took the wussy way out, and just crawled across the log.

Well, the second time (when I came through on the super) I made an even worse decision!

And we’ll get to that next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 10 (Forget It, Let’s Just Burpee Out Of A Lot Of This)

October 24, 2014

Picking up from last time –

So, I was stressed to say the least. I started the race with the intention of continuing to do as many obstacles as I could, just as I’d done in the Beast.

The volunteers were a lot more lax as the day went on. I’m thinking it was ’cause they wanted to be kind as we made our way to the same things over again (only this time with more mileage under out feet). They also probably were being so lax because of the temperature, and racers getting cold and such.

When I’d gone to gear check to change from the Beast to the Super, I heard people saying, “I’m done. Just give me my bag.” People were cold, and tired, and quitting. So, I think the volunteers were sort of like, “Good on ya for just getting out here again. Do whatever you want.”

Early in the race, there was this thing where we waded through waist-deep mud, climbed out onto a little mound of mud, and then did that again two more times.

Because it was so cold, and everyone was already wet from their first race, the volunteers were all, “You can skip this if you want.”

Of course in my whole, “no, I am so in this” attitude, I got in the mud anyway. As I shuffled along while trying to run with my sopping pants, I realized it maybe wasn’t the greatest idea to get in the mud. It was cloudy. So, the sun wasn’t going to be drying me off anytime soon. And I’d just spent almost half an hour getting warm – just to undo everything. Aye, aye, aye. Good job, Aurora.

As much as I didn’t want to do it, because it felt like a lame way out, I totally burpeed out of anything that was long. Carrying gravel in a bucket? I think it’s doable, but it takes too much time to fill that bucket and walk around. Get down for some burpees.

Throughout the day and night, my burpees were getting less and less burpee-like and more like stepping one foot back at a time, and not getting totally into a plank, but more like a very low downward dog… Also, as everyone got so lax as time went on and on and on, it’s possible I may not have been totally counting exactly 30 every time. There was even an instance where someone running with me asked “how many more do you have?” And he took 10 for me. (Thank you, sir!)

I felt kinda lame and kinda weak when I saw people giving their all in the longer obstacles and I went by them like, “no thanks!” I know Spartan races are full of supportive people. So, I don’t think anyone was working to make me feel that way – but I certainly put it on myself.

[Sigh.]

And this where I’ll pick up next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 9 (Stress During the Super)

October 23, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I excitedly started the Super as I ran past the DJ saying, “Let’s do it again!” (This became my catchphrase at the start… I don’t know if you’re allowed to say you have a catchphrase if you only say it twice… But I said it with heart. I think it counts if I declare it does, and I am.)

During the Beast, I was taking time to let me brain over-think everything in my life (as I often do with long runs/walks). I love getting out all those analytical and tiring thoughts – tiring out my brain with my body.

During the Super, I mainly just lived in stress sloshing all around in my brain. I kept doing math of miles, and how many more there were to go, and how my pacing was going, and the difference between what I expected and what I got – and on and on and on.

I obsessively checked the time at every mile marker to see that I was still on pace to finish on time.

As I speed-walked through the forest, I thought, “what if somehow I don’t make it in time?! How will I ever possibly explain this to everyone on social media/my blog?! This will be the most embarrassing shame I will ever have to live with. This will be worse than getting silver instead of gold in the math pentathalon in 3rd grade (which I will never get over ’til my dying day)! I am Aurora De Lucia. I do not DNF.”

Then there was this tiny part of me that sort of started trying to justify it all to myself. “Well, I thought I was going to do about 12 + 8 + 3. So, 23ish (maybe up to 25 point something, if each race had a lot of extra tenths of miles thrown in to that uncertain zone of the ‘+’ at the end of the mileage listed on the website)…

Now that the Beast is over 14 and the super’s over 11, even if I just finish these 2, I’m already at 25 (more than 25)! That’s already what I thought I was going to be doing today. Even if I can’t get to the Sprint, can I consider that a victory?”

Of course, then the logical part of me quieted down that weak part of me. Ooooobviously that would not be okay. I didn’t tell myself and the world I was going to do a 25 mile course. I said I was going to do the trifecta-in-a-day – which was exactly what I planned on doing.

So, let’s make it happen. I’ll pick up here next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 40 (You Know Who Else Should Be Livid?)

October 22, 2014

Picking up from last time –

Of course the people who should be the most angry are the ones personally and deeply affected. And I’m aware that money is in no way as important as human life. However, while we are talking about people who should be so mad…

You know who else should be angry? Whoever is paying for all these tests! They did thousands of dollars in tests in me. I had x-rays. I had a CT angio with contrast. I saw doctors. I had blood draws. Those things are not cheap.

When you’re trying to be a kidney donor, you don’t pay for anything. They didn’t even take my insurance card. It was all free to me. So who’s paying? Is the hospital? Are patients eating that cost? Are people eating that cost in insurance premiums? Is it tax payers?

My understanding is that if you’re getting tested for a specific person, the tests are covered through that person’s insurance. But when you give to a stranger, who’s paying, then? And why was that money wasted?

Why didn’t they think to perhaps do the easier (and I’d assume less expensive) things, such as the interview, first? How do they decide the order that makes sense to go in?

All I know is somewhere along the lines, someone, somewhere lost a lot money. And that’s another thing to get upset about.

And while we’re already on this roll of being upset, let’s talk a bit about the aftermath (or the aftermath thus far) next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 8 (Timings, Timings, Timings)

October 21, 2014

Aurora getting up from the Hercules Hoist at Spartan Ohio 2014 — Sorry, I have a lot of photos of the Hercules Hoist. So here’s another one!

Picking up from last time –

Let’s talk about cutoffs.

You had to pick up your bib for the Super by 3pm, and cross the start at 3:15pm. You had to pick up your bib for the Sprint by 6:30pm, and cross the start by 6:45pm.

I knew I’d be fine to be finished with the Beast by 3pm – that part I wasn’t worried about. But finishing another (originally thought to be 8 but actually) 11 miles in 3 1/2 hours – that worried me.

If it were a straight running event, sure, no worries. Even with the miles from the morning, that still should be great and totally doable. But with obstacles, in *dramatic voice* the woods, with the mud and all that jazz – I don’t know! At my level of fitness (and trail capability), I think it sounds tough.

So, the tentative goal I set in my head was to be finished with my Beast around 1:15 or 1:20. I’d love to start my Super by 1:30. (That totally didn’t happen.) That was the reaching goal, but I also had a “uh, I better freaking do this” goal of starting the Super course at 2:30 – which is pretty much exactly when I started.

1:30 came and went. 1:45 came and went. Finally, I rocked out my finish a little before 2. I was hoping I’d get on the course in 10 minutes. That also totally didn’t happen, as I spent way more time changing and warming up than I expected. I kept thinking I’d be warm enough, leaving the fire, and then turning right back around to that fire to warm myself some more.

Once two thirty was rolling around, I had no choice. I ran to the start.

Part of the reason I was so cold was a lack of gloves and socks. As I mentioned, I thought I’d brought more than enough clothing. …And I was incorrect.

What I hadn’t thought about was that my gloves were going to be totally done for after the first race. I had to take them off to change, and I so could not get them back on. Toweling them off, warming them by the fire – none of that helped. It was all over for the gloves.

I’d also brought 4 pairs of socks – thinking one for each race, plus an extra pair if anything happened. So, I’d be golden. Not so much, because I totally layered on 3 pairs before I even started, since I was cold in the morning. (And I lost some socks in the whole shoes falling off in the woods thing.) So, so much for all that.

But I was getting through. And it was time to start the Super, which is where I’ll start next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 7 (Finishing the Beast)

October 20, 2014

Picking up from last time –

Eventually, I made it around to the final obstacles.

(In the process, I learned the other races were over 11 miles and over 5 miles long. So, I knew what was coming my way.)

Toward the end, we got to submerge in mud under a wall. Then, burpeed some, instead of trying to climb straight up a rope (like they do in old school gym class). ‘Cause that ain’t happening (yet, at least).

Then, we went into this thing called the Gauntlet. That’s an obstacle I don’t understand. There are bags (punching bags, I guess?) hanging over mud that we wade through.

I don’t know if maybe earlier in the day, someone pushes them to set as many moving as possible, or if maybe we’re supposed to set them moving to challenge other competitors… All I know is every time I’ve seen it/gone through it, the bags are still, and we just walk through the mud. So, I don’t get it. But there’s that one.

Then, in true Spartan Fashion, we got to jump over fire. Yee-haw.

After the Beast, they cut off my timing chip (as they always do – since trifecta runners got new chips before their next races). They handed me a ticket for a shirt – which I held onto, but didn’t grab right away, ’cause I didn’t have time to get a shirt!

I ran over to bag check, and got my stuff for the Super.

I knew I didn’t really have any extra time available to me, but because I was totally covered in mud (and cold), I grabbed a change of clothes and ran to a porta potty to change. I was shivering the whole time I was changing. But I just kept thinking if I changed clothes, I’d be warmer.

I did keep my same sports bra and under armor base layer through all 3 races. I don’t know if that was a bad or okay decision. But I didn’t bring enough under-layers to keep changing those out! And I was oh so wet that I think it would’ve been hard to change those layer – though maybe worthwhile? I dunno what was optimal, but I know what I did worked. So, I guess that’s all that matters.

I’d brought 3 towels with me to get through the day – one for each race. Little did I know, that would so not be enough. I was so muddy, I could’ve done with 2 (maybe even 3!) towels per race. But still, I made it through with 1 per race. After all, I had no choice but to make it work with what I brought, right?

After I changed, I ran my stuff back to bag check… and I was so much colder than I anticipated. Thankfully, there were fires around that had been set up. So, I went to warm up at one of those. And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 39 (If I Needed a Kidney, I’d Be LIVID)

October 19, 2014

Picking up from last time –

Obviously, I’m mad. This whole thing was pretty wildly upsetting to me. But I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of anger I’d feel if either I needed a kidney, or someone very close to me needed a kidney.

But no matter how much I care about people in general, or the idea of human life – I will not pretend that I can feel quite the same amount of anger as someone whose son (or whose anyone they deeply care) is on the transplant list.

I do not have the same personal, visceral upset-ness that someone who is lying in hospital bed waiting for a kidney would.

I try to imagine myself in their shoes for a minute, and I just think, “How angry would I be?!” I don’t even know what kind of mix of anger and disbelief and sadness I’d have.

But I had no idea that this process would be made to be so hard for someone to give a kidney, and I think it’s possible that other people don’t know either.

When I got my rejection, part of me desperately wanted to say to them, “Okay. Go upstairs and tell someone – tell a family whose person is barely hanging on that that person doesn’t get a kidney, because I’m too much of a free spirit, or I’m not afraid enough, or you didn’t like me, or whatever basically crap reason (yeah, I said it!) you’re giving here. Go tell them! And let me know how that goes over.”

I don’t want people to get angry. I know it’s not a great emotion… But I do want people to get justice! …And sometimes justice is born of a mix of anger and disbelief. I will become a living kidney donor. So, at some point, I will do my part, and I suppose my “personal justice” or however you want to think about it will be gotten.

It’ll be for a different person than it could’ve been. It’ll be at a different time than it could’ve been (and I don’t know if it can be quantified as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ as for the person who gets, it will be good to them that it didn’t work out for me the first time… but sadly, in the meantime, someone died while waiting. So obviously that was horrific for them – it’s all just so wrought with so much emotion everywhere for many people…).

But for me, it will happen.

However, how many people get clogged up in the system over stuff like this? How many people give up after something like this? This process has certainly made me oh so curious… (But maybe other people have a simpler time and I’m just a weirdo. Possible! But there’s no way I’m a one and only one time outlier, I wouldn’t think.)

Next time, I’ll pick up with one more group of people who I believe should be totally livid.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 6 (The Scariest Obstacle In The Beast)

October 18, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I don’t know what this obstacle’s called, but basically, there’s a log close to the ground that you step up on. Then you have to go to a log that’s higher up and farther away. It’s not close enough to you to just reach out and land on it. You have to use momentum and jump.

And then if somehow you make it to that middle level, you have to go up yet another one to a log that’s even higher up (I’m thinking 7 feet or more, since that last one is taller than everyone I saw there). Yet again, you have to use momentum!

On top of it all, these logs are sort of wet from all the mud (and from some rain).

I saw a woman try to jump from one to another. Her momentum either didn’t get her quite all the way there, or maybe it worked against her if it was too much that sent her forward and back… Either way, whatever happened, she fell backward and landed on the ground.

It made a huge thump when we heard her body and/or head just totally hit the ground.

I thought it was scary. Almost immediately, someone yelled out, “She’s fine! She’s fine! She just got the air knocked out of her.”

Uh, how do you know that, sir? I haven’t heard her speak or seen her get up yet. Is she fine?

Thankfully, she did get up. But it was still scary and jarring.

I ended up having two guys helping, letting me step on them between logs.

The night before the race, even though I planned my sleeping schedule pretty well, and left myself plenty of time to sleep… I just kept staying up. I think I was maybe slightly nervous about this whole trifecta-in-a-day thing. Or maybe I just wasn’t totally on Ohio time yet. Whatever the case, I just got a couple of hours of sleep – and I could totally tell it in this obstacle.

I was shaking a bit, and I think my voice sounded kinda whiny as I was all, “Are you sure I’m not hurting you?” “Are you sure you’ve got me?” …

You know how you get a little less rational and a little more emotional when your tired? I tried not to be that way in general during the race, but I totally felt it here!

Even sounding a little whiny, and being a little too scared, the guys were so helpful and patient, and I made it on to the next obstacles.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 5 (The Beast Continues – Some More Obstacles)

October 17, 2014

Aurora carrying a bucket of rocks at Spartan Beast Ohio — You can tell I didn’t realize there was a camera there, as the struggle is oh so real 😛

Picking up from last time –

There were some obstacles that surprised me. There was this one where we had to pick up a heavy log and a lighter log, and carry them around a little extra trail.

I’d gotten kind of used to the idea of guys and girls having different weights in obstacles that involved carrying or lifting. But alas, no. We all grabbed from the same pile. This should be empowering, but it made me a little nervous.

I asked if we didn’t think we could handle the weight if we could burpee out of this one. And the volunteer said no. No? I thought we could burpee out of any obstacle we wanted.

(I mean, I think technically you can do whatever you want, as I met another racer later who’d talked about burpee-ing out of things you technically weren’t supposed to because he didn’t feel he had the time for them, while trying to get in the whole trifecta-in-a-day.)

Things got a little lax later in the day, but during The Beast, I tried to follow all the rules to a T. So, I picked up my heavy and light log and made my way around the little trail. I know we probably should just totally believe in ourselves and not be pleasantly surprised when we can do something simple such as carry logs around – but I was, nonetheless.

And I was really happy the volunteer said I couldn’t burpee out of that, because it allowed me to surprise myself, which was awesome!

In true Spartan fashion, at every obstacle, people were helping each other, giving each other boosts and that sort of thing. But dum, dum dum (*scary chords*), there was one (just as in Temecula) where people were not as uplifting – and it was the same one!

Thankfully, there were people in front of me during the barbed wire crawl this time around. So, I wasn’t taking the brunt of any yelling. But there was a girl behind us who was all, “uh, move it!” And the guy in front of me shot back, “I can’t when there are people in front of me.” And she called right back, “They’re not right in front of you! There’s some room!”

So, yet again, there was an angry woman behind me on that obstacle. I’m wondering if maybe there needs to be two lines for the barbed wire crawl – the one for those who have no patience (which I get it, I guess, they may be going for a PR or something), and the one for the rest of us. Something to think about, Spartan?

There was only one obstacle that was genuinely scary – which I’ll get to next time!

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 4 (The Beast)

October 16, 2014

Picking up from last time –

All trifecta racers started with the Beast (the longest race). I was excited about this because we’d get a nice look at what’s to come (as the beast and the super shared a lot of the same course, and all three met back up at the end).

I’d also finally get an idea of how many miles we actually needed to accomplish in the day (though there was a long stretch of the beast where there were no mile markers – which was very nerve-wracking… but we all lived to see another day!).

We’ll get to all the timing, planning, and miles, and such in a minute, though. First, let’s talk about the Beast itself.

It started off easy enough – just going over and under a few pretty low obstacles. Then we climbed over some higher walls, but most had some kind of helpful hold where you could boost yourself up.

After the first few obstacles, there was a stretch of just running. As I mentioned, I was at the back of the elite heat. So, I just got to chill out in the back, calmly jogging all by myself.

As silly as it is, I was actually pretty pleased with the idea that I was even jogging. Usually I’m the worst (the worst!) at trail running. But alas, today, I had a long day ahead of me and wanted to jog when I could. So, I did.

Later in the race, I did learn that I should really consider getting trail running shoes, or tying my shoes tighter, or just generally doing something – as my shoes were totally get stuck in the mud all the time. I’m not totally sure if that’s a me thing or a shoe thing. All I know is it’s a thing.

Aurora at the Hercules Hoist during the Spartan trifecta-in-a-day — …a different facial expression at the Hercules Hoist, so you can take your pick of which one ya like. 😛

There were a couple of instances where one of my shoes came completely off. It was rough. And by that point, people had actually caught up to me. And some trails within the forest were very narrow. So I always felt in the way if I got stuck – which was extremely stressful.

But in true Spartan fashion, no one made me feel bad for being in the way, and someone even stopped to help get my shoe out of the mud. AROO, baby.

As we ran for miles in the woods, I started thinking, “I know obstacles are hard, but at this point, give me some mud or something – anything to get out of these trees!”

Maybe I need to learn more about nature, or somehow get better with an internal map/GPS. But once I’m in the middle of trees, it all looks and feels the same to me.

Some people feel trapped in concrete buildings, and love nature. I feel the opposite way – I could live in New York forever, but I can only survive among trees for a little while. Where am I? Are there animals around? There are no quick escape routes, as there are in big, beautiful, concrete cities!

Anyway, we eventually made it out of the forest, and I’ll pick up here next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 38 (Rejection – Part 4 (Support System & What I Learned)

October 15, 2014

Picking up from last time –

The final thing the nurse explained to me was of course the thing we all knew, based on my story, was going to totally bite me in the butt.

The psych team thought I didn’t have enough support to take care of me and such after surgery. What’s funny is I could’ve easily given them phone numbers of at least 10 people who would’ve checked in on me. I had multiple people willing to let me stay with them, even.

It’s just annoying that basically because of some misunderstandings, they just decided to think what they wanted to think instead of clearing up anything. I stand by the fact that I still think it was a totally reasonable question to ask why someone needs to be there during surgery.

I’m telling you, if it’s just someone there just to be there, I’ll ask a friend who doesn’t work that day. If it’s my medical power of attorney, I gotta ask my dad to take off work. The person is different based on the purpose, and I just feel it was a question I should’ve been allowed to ask – even if it’s the very question that made them feel they needed to reject me for “lack of support.”

If you want to know officially what the follow-up rejection letter in the mail said: “the Patient Selection Committee does not feel that kidney donation is suitable for you at this time, due to: your psycho-social status financially or emotionally related to non-directed kidney donation in a state far away from your permanent residence.”

The funniest part about that is that the people who matter very most in my world and who literally would walk through fire for me if necessary… they live in Ohio. So, it’s just interesting to me that in trying to turn me away so I can go to my permanent residence and get all that amazing support they’re talking about, they’re actually just turning me away from all that amazing support…

(I will say this might be better for me because I won’t feel smothered… But while I might personally like it better to be away from my “strongest support system,” the psych team is still kind of accomplishing the opposite of their goal.)

I calmly explained a lot of what I told you (trying to prove all these points invalid) to the nurse. She said, “I had the feeling that you were just being your usual, quirky, outgoing self.”

So, let it just be known that I was not the only one who thought I was just being (pretty fun, if I do say so myself) me. Someone else thought it. So it can’t completely live only in my own perception and nowhere else.

She said central Ohio is not as cosmopolitan as L.A., and she encouraged me to try again out here.

I know that medical stuff isn’t a bed of wild roses all the time.

I know I’ve said this before – and I’m sorry to repeat myself – But honestly, I was just so flabbergasted by such an incredibly stark difference between the way the social worker treated me at Mass General (making me feel like a very heard person whose thoughts/feelings/opinions matters) and the way the social worker/psychiatrist treated me in Ohio (making me feel like I had to fit into their box and if I had any questions or opinions, I was the absolute worst), that I just can’t get over it…

Let’s talk a little more tomorrow about some people who should be mad. (I’m thinking basically everybody, but I have some specifics in mind.)

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 3 (Arrival & Surprise!)

October 13, 2014

Aurora De Lucia layering in the car before the race — layering up in the car before the start of the race

Picking up from last time –

So, I brought my tons of stuff up to Cumberland Ohio. Spartan recommends to get there 2 hours early. At my last one, I saw that was definitely a fabulous idea. So, I dutifully complied.

They hadn’t actually transferred my race entry yet, but they’d given me an email promising they’d do it the day of. So, I started the morning (before the sun came up) in line at Race Day Registration – where I was hit with some possibly scary news.

Some people were saying the Beast course was 16 miles long. Uh, what? I said I thought it was supposed to be around 12.

See, online, Spartan says the Beast is 12+, Super is 8+, and Sprint is 3+. I thought 12+ means 12 point something, but they don’t give it exactly as it may be slightly different based on where they are. But oh no. On this day, I learned the + just means plus whatever they want.

It was still in the air in the morning what all the race lengths were. No one seemed to know for sure. I was getting different answers depending on what group I stood with talking about it. The only thing all the groups had in common was that everyone was talking about it. How far were we going to go today?

Once I got up to the table to do race day registration, the man up there asked me if I’d like to run the Beast elite. At first, I thought, “uh, no way. The elite corral is going to be all these super svelte amazing-looking people. And I’m gonna be the one pudgy one in the back feeling all out of place.”

But then I thought, “Elite starts 15 minutes early. Since I have no idea how many miles I’m doing today, forget it. Let’s just go elite, Holmes!”

So, I signed up in the elite field.

After that, I went back in the car to put on my bib and timing chip in the warmest place available. After the sun came on, and I put on more layers, it was time to leave the precious warm safety of the car.

I turned my bag into bag check. The trifecta racers had to check in at bag check between each race to get their bibs for the next one. There was a special lane just for us, and they let us set our own bags so we knew where they were and could trade things out between races.

Once in the corral, I did stand in the back, ’cause I didn’t want any real elite people to be affected by my slowness. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how not incredibly out of place I looked in that corral. *gives nodding approval to self*

I heard the whole “We are Spartans” speech before we got on out of there… And go!

This is where we’ll pick up next time.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 37 (Rejection – Part 3 (Financial Stability/Unemployment)

October 12, 2014

Picking up from last time –

Someone on the psych team also mentioned they were worried that I go on unemployment sometimes, as it could be denied if I’m unable to work.

I seriously can’t believe unemployment was made to be this much of a big deal. I mentioned it because I was being pushed for something stressful. (And you know if you’ve ever filed for unemployment in California that it is very stressful.)

But I think it’s interesting they act like it’d be a big deal to go without unemployment, because do you know what would be a bigger deal? Going without actual paychecks (for the people who need kidneys/need to get back to work)! It would be much easier to go without unemployment for a few weeks than it would be to take time off work and go without your real paychecks (since work pays a whole lot more).

(And this hypothetical is assuming you’re going to file for every single week you’re out of work. There’ve been times when I haven’t filed if I’m only out for a short amount of whatever.)

Now, I do understand that some people’s jobs have actual paid vacations. So even though, to me, every time I take a day off work I miss a day rate… since I do understand the concept of more mainstream jobs, I get that people do go in there and say they have vacation time saved up… which is why I probably sounded different to the psych team.

I think instead of looking at it as a bad thing that I go without work sometimes, it could be looked at as a positive! I’m some ways, I’m sort of more free.

Usually you’re cleared from kidney surgery to go back to a desk job in two weeks anyway. So, I’d miss $900 for two weeks? Heck, I’d lose like half of that just going to and from Ohio. They shouldn’t be that concerned over $900.

I understand that because I’m angry and I’m talking in an angry tone, I am being slightly ridiculous about money. I don’t want to sound like someone who doesn’t understand the value of money, or who doesn’t appreciate money she often gets between jobs.

The safety net is very appreciated!

All I’m saying is, I can carve out a couple of planned weeks in which I don’t get any money from anywhere and still survive.

Sigh. I feel like I’m talking in circles here. All I’m saying is, if you’re that worried about my financial situation, make me show a bank statement or something. Heck, I was a couple of weeks away from selling a brand new car. I could’ve used some of that good fortune to pay for the opportunity to help someone in a way I really wanted to help them.

I just didn’t like how unemployment seemed like such a dirty, terrifying, and ridiculous word at this place. It is SO a part of life of practically everyone I know, that I didn’t know how it is apparently viewed in the “real world” (or at least the midwest world).

There’s a disconnect in my brain. To me, unemployment doesn’t say “sound the alarms! You’re poor. In trouble. A delinquent. Awful. You’re not fit to give a kidney!” It just says, “you’re between gigs and that’s oh so normal.”

I’m annoyed that they seemed to have heard that word and shut down instead of trying to clarify anything.

So I’m gonna just stop talking about this and move on – this Wednesday.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 2 (Prepping My Race Bags!)

October 11, 2014

Aurora trying on a coat at Dick's Sporting Goods — trying on a coat – as I genuinely had no idea what I was going to need in the Ohio weather

Picking up from yesterday –

I gave myself a full day in Ohio to prep. I learned from my first marathon that taking the red eye and going straight into racing does not feel good. Learning. Changing. Flying a day early. *pats self on back*

Once I got there Friday morning, I headed to a sporting goods store. I was concerned, okay, pretty super concerned, about the weather. Aye, aye, aye, the weather.

I’ve become pretty cold-blooded living in Los Angeles. Oh how I used to make fun of the silly, silly Los Angelinos who got cold in what would be considered a nice day (and shorts weather) in New York. I hate to admit this, but I’m one of them now. *falls to the ground admitting* – I’m weak!

The forecast had the race taking place in the 40s. The 40s! Do you know the last time I’ve experienced weather in the 40s? I’m genuinely trying to think about it, it might’ve been in my Oklahoma City trip. The point is, it doesn’t happen often. It certainly doesn’t happen often that I’m hanging out outdoors for hours on end in that kind of weather.

I didn’t even truly know what all I needed to get. So, I just got a bunch of stuff – some Under Armor base layers, more layers on top of that, hand warmers, foot warmers – all that jazz.

I also got a sweet duffel bag, as I didn’t think a bookbag was quite going to cut it for a race of this magnitude.

I got some good ol’ Shot Bloks, and a Clif Bar. I grabbed a Gatorade and a huge thing of water. I did not want to forget anything.

I even got a headband and some cool neon bracelets – as that stuff was required by Spartan. (I was a very good girl and read through all the paperwork. I was a little stressed about it all, as you can tell, and wanted to make sure I got everything right.

The night before the race, I packed up my new duffel bag in a very organized fashion – a place for snacks, one for night stuff, one for warmth stuff, and then in the main portion I put in way more clothes than I thought I would ever use. (Spoiler alert: I was totally wrong. I used more than I expected.) I also threw some towels in there.

Then I had a separate bookbag kept in the car with a post-race outfit, an additional post-race Gatorade, kind bars and all that stuff – something to be waiting for me after I rummaged through my bag check bag all day.

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

My First Ultramarathon?! – Part 1 (The Pre-Race Chapter)

October 10, 2014

The first ever Spartan trifecta-in-a-day! AROO!

Let’s start with – what’s a Spartan Trifecta? Spartan offers 3 main race distances: Beast, Super, and Sprint.

The Beast is 12+ miles. Super is 8+. Sprint is 3+. (More on this soon enough.)

When you do any Spartan races during the year, not only do you get your normal medal, but you also get kind of a pie piece medal. If you get one from each of the 3 distances (in a calendar year) and put them together, they form a fun new trifecta medal.

Basically, if you do all 3, you get to say you’re cool. I think that’s pretty much the gist behind it.

If you missed (or just didn’t read) the posts on my first Spartan race, that race was cut short due to heat issues. So, we all got free entries to a new race.

Once I found out the first ever trifecta-in-a-day was happening (and in a place where some friends and family live) I felt I pretty much had to do it, right?

After I signed up, the show I was working on got extended – then extended again. I thought I was weeks safe, but alas, we ended up having a day of work on the day of the race.

So, I went back and forth on whether I should do the race. “Oh, I’m paid on a day rate. So, I’m gonna lose the money of that day, plus the travel day before. Plus I’m gonna pay to travel. This race is gonna cost me a ton!”

When I started putting dollar amounts to it, it just wasn’t seeming all that practical. So, I shied away from it. Then my work schedule kept changing. “We are working Saturday. We’re not working Saturday. We are. We’re not.” And on an on.

I finally decided the week before the race that I needed to be responsible. So, forget it. I wouldn’t go…

And then on Wednesday of that week, I decided, “Nope. Forget it. I wanna go. Money’s not everything. I bet we don’t work Saturday after all anyway. [We didn’t.] Sometimes being practical isn’t cool or fun. I know this’ll be a great experience (or at least a new and interesting one, if nothing else) experience. Forget it. I’m going.”

And I bought a plane ticket for the following night.

I’ll pick up here tomorrow.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 36 (Rejection – Part 2 (More Thoughts On Wanting (Or Not Wanting) To Be Liked))

October 8, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I was admitting that I could sort of,maybe, kind of see the wanting to be liked angle of it all – especially since I’m keeping a blog so some people will see I’m doing this.

But truthfully, the only reason I even wanted to blog about the journey was because I thought being a living kidney donor was going to be this awesome, fulfilling experience. And I could show the world that it is such.

There was a time when I didn’t know you could go be a living kidney donor to a stranger. I thought talking about it might spark interest in someone else. And I liked the idea of that.

I also generally share my life on this blog. Sure, not every single detail. But something like this – I feel that that’s generally the kind of stuff I share with you.

The point is, I’m not writing about kidney donation because I think, “these will be the posts that will make people love me!”

I get it that I have some insecurities. I’ve certainly talked about youth and beauty enough on this blog that you know I worry about that kind of stuff. Sometimes I even make fun of myself and my insecurities a little. I think I’ve even captioned a picture something along the lines of, “It took 2 hours to dress up like this. Please validate me.”

And we all know that I flip over the moon when people retweet me and stuff. So, I’m not going to act like I’m someone who never needs any validation whatsoever, or who looks in the mirror each morning and thinks that I’m totally the greatest thing on two legs…

But does anybody?

I feel like I have a normal human level of insecurity (and ensuing silliness regarding it). But I would never give a body part just on the hope that it’d make somebody somewhere like me.

I’ll even admit, if the psych people thought I wanted them to like me, they were right! I did want them to like me. I wanted them to like me, because I wanted them to approve me for a goal of mine. (I know they said they weren’t judging my personality, but it seemed to me they sort of were…)

Oh, and one more argument I have as to why we know I wasn’t doing this to be liked… I’ve already stated before that one thing I absolutely hated about my heart issue was all the pity! I did not like that pity people pour on you while you’re in the hospital.

When I give a kidney, sure, people will probably pay attention to me while I’m in the hospital (as people are wont to do), which is usually when I want attention the least. And then two weeks later, they’ll basically forget it’s happened – which will be good, ’cause I’ll be normal Aurora in their eyes out climbing mountains and skydiving and doing whatever it is I decide to do next.

But this would be A LOT of work to get attention for just a couple of days in the hospital – especially when that pitied hospital attention is my least favorite kind of attention at all.

There’s more to this rejection and we’ll get there next time.

(#36) Striking with IATSE Local 700! (September 22, 23 & 29, 2014) – Part 3 (Spoiler Alert: They Got Their Contract)

October 7, 2014

(Hey everyone, yet again I realized there was an empty day from almost a year ago (I have no idea what happened there!) But anyway, this should be the last of catching up on posts. Thanks for your patience!)

Picking up from last time –

One of the things I learned that was interesting (but made total sense) is that one of the guys in charge of organizing is not an IATSE members who then was elected or started working in the office. No. He’s a professional organizer. He’s worked with teachers and other groups. (‘Twas just a little fact I learned and thought I’d share.)

It was really interesting to hear him talk about laws and strategies. What an interesting job that must be!

I thought I had more to say (sorry to make a post with practically nothing), but ultimately, there are articles that sum up the strike… Ultimately, the show turned union!

It took a long time. Some lost money. Some went to other jobs. But ultimately, the union prevailed, and I’m so proud of/inspired by everyone who sacrificed to make that happen.

(#36) Striking with IATSE Local 700! (September 22, 23 & 29, 2014) – Part 2 (The Picket Line, Baby!)

October 6, 2014

Picking up from last time –

I loved striking! It’s so right in the sweet spot of things I love. I get to walk around all day and talk to people? I get to feel like I’m part of something bigger than myself? Sign me up!

People have talked before about how wonderful it’s been to walk picket lines in the past.

(The writers’ strike of ’07 – ’08 is still talked about today. Sometimes people make it sound so magical, that part of me wishes I could’ve been around for it)

(It also sounds like a terrible time for Hollywood. So, I think the general consensus is everyone wishes it wouldn’t have happened. But you know, if it was indeed gonna happen, I bet it was a pretty magical time to be around. Aaaaaanyway…)

The picket line was exactly what everyone said it would be in all their magical talks and memories of picket lines. I met a number of new people there. I saw many of my old friends from Shahs of Sunset. I got to hear interesting stories from people, both new and old friends.

The sense of camaraderie was wonderful. We enjoyed hearing updates whenever there were any. And when there weren’t, speculation was happening here and there among colleagues. What else are you gonna do when you walk around for hours everyday waiting to hear when you get to work again?

As a sweet added bonus, the union gave out some free swag and all the free food we could handle.

There were parts of the strike that felt mildly weird to take part in – such as when we had chants going of, “Shame on Bravo. Shame on NBC!” I had thoughts run through my head of, “I had my very first TV job with NBC. And Bravo let me do my first ever professional edit. Now I’m out here chanting against them?”

Sure, it felt a little weird. But even people/entities you love falter sometimes. And when they do, there are consequences. I had the time of my life working on Shahs of Sunset. I always tell people that working for Ryan Seacrest Productions (which runs the show) was one of the best jobs I’ve ever had!

Most of the people in the picket line felt the same way. None of the editors had any ill will. They just wanted their health insurance and such. (Can you even imagine the amount of hassle we’d save in this world if we just had universal healthcare in America? Don’t even get me started.)

I’ll finish out this post next time with how the strike panned out.

That Time I (Hopefully) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 35 (Rejection – Part 1 (They Think I Want To Be Liked))

October 5, 2014

Aurora exhausted after SkyRobics — Since I mention getting the results after my birthday, here is a picture of my birthday that year (since I’m totally running out of kidney photos).
(And it’s fitting, since this kidney saga exhausted me as well!

Picking up from last time –

So, I thought I’d find out pretty quickly and then wait my three months. But no. I don’t even find out for 3 more months.

The day after my birthday (which is the window when I always seems to have the worst luck), I found out that I was denied the opportunity to be a living kidney donor at that hospital.

The nurse who told me was very sweet. And some of what she said is even in writing. So, I can tell you with certainty (since I still have the email) that she said, “I found you to be an absolute delight.”

Boom! So if you were wondering if I was going around being a jerk to everybody, at least one person thinks that’s not true.

Of course, whether I was a bit of a jerk to the psychologist or social worker could be debatable. I’m just saying. I’m a delight, y’all…

The nurse said she tried to advocate for me. (The doctor tried to advocate for me!) People were on my side and thought my motives made sense, and that I was a good, healthy candidate. But the psych team wasn’t having it.

The nurse strongly suggested that I try again in California. She thought I was a great candidate and things just didn’t work out well specifically at their hospital.

She elaborated for me that the social worker thought I was too worried about being liked. Apparently, the social worker got this from me mentioning how much they were writing down – like I was too nervous about it or something… Me trying to ease the tension apparently gave a deep, dark look into my insecurities that are so unbelievably huge that apparently I need to have major surgery to feel liked.

This is such a funny idea to me to think that I would want to have surgery to get people to like me. There are SO many easier ways to get people to like you! Take an interest in people. Care about them. Remember their birthdays and other important days. Be a generally good person. Polite. A good listener when someone needs you. These are all ways to possibly be better liked.

As far as I could tell, giving a kidney wasn’t going to make anybody like me more. Heck, most people thought I was crazy for wanting to do it! I don’t want to say that anyone liked me less because I wanted to do it. But the people who like me, most likely like me, because of the way I make them feel – not because I want to have major surgery. All that is, is an inconvenience to them!

They gotta worry about me. They gotta bring me smoothies. It’s just almost beyond my comprehension that someone would want to give a kidney to someone because they want to be liked! …Unless maybe, I guess the person wants to be liked by the person getting her kidney.

Now, I will say I do have some insecurities and I do understand that I’m not totally anonymous since I’m keeping a blog about this. And we’ll get into that next time.

Thanks so much for coming to my blog!

I’m Aurora (as you probably guessed)!

This blog started when I ran 52 half marathons in 52 weeks after open-heart surgery for a weird congenital heart defect (Wolff-Parkinson White).

(That inspired more “52 in 52 weeks” projects you can see if you scroll down to check ’em out!)

I also won a car on The Price is Right (and lost a trip to Mexico on Let’s Make a Deal).

Currently, I’m completing Project 882 – 882 race miles in a year to represent the 882 Americans sexually assaulted every day.

Thanks again for visiting! Stick around, and read today’s post (to your left), or check out the projects (below), and feel free to contact me – let’s be friends! 🙂