Recently, I’ve been a visitor (as opposed to a visit-ee) at the hospital for the first time.
I find it to be pretty intimidating and scary.
I remember that for me, I barely wanted any visitors and I kept trying to get people to leave me alone. So, I was nervous that we’d be imposing when we visited. But, I know that many more normal people love having visitors around.
The person I went to see is a super outgoing (and extremely loved) person. As far as I could tell, he actually really liked having people.
It was funny how much stuff came flooding back in my mind. It was also funny how soon into my visit, he made some joke about how it seems like Law and Order is always on. One episode is on, you drift off, every time you sort of come back to life it’s still on just with different villains and different casts.
And I found that to be so hilarious, because one of my biggest memories of the hospital was how Law and Order was on all the time. I felt like there must be some special Law and Order channel they put in the hospital. It really never stops. And I just thought it was super funny to hear someone else say the same thing (only in a much funnier way, because this individual is way funnier than I am).
Anyway, I guess now that I’ve been the visit-ee, I feel like I have to cut people even more of a break. Because when I was in the hospital, I was sometimes annoyed with people. (I paint myself in a bad light sometimes, but overall I kept it as much of a party as I could… I wasn’t a horrible person or anything. But I was annoyed when I’d get overwhelmed by too many people trying to visit.)
Anyway, now that I know what being a visitor is like, I’ll try to show more patience. (One of the things I’m generally trying to do in life is show more patience in every scenario, ’cause you know, it’s a virtue.) But basically, the point I’m trying to make is that while being a patient is stressful – being a visitor is stressful too!
How long should I stay? What do I say? What do I bring? And on and on.
I know that generally the rule is that you don’t stay for all that long. You kind of get in and get out and let the person rest. But some people get lonely and bored and want visitors to stay for a long time.
I know obviously people can just communicate. But I know it’s hard to ask people to leave – especially if you just want some people to leave and not others.
So, I tried to throw out a couple of outs here and there. “Oh, am I interrupting?” “Should I head out?” And I was encouraged to stay. But then, I end up having so much fun because my friend is so fun (and the other visitors were so fun) that it was always hard to leave.
I also really never knew what to talk about, ’cause sometimes I’d try to avoid talking about health stuff, and then sometimes the conversation would go there and I’d ask a question. But then in my head I’d be all “uuuh, do you want to talk about your heart or do you not want to talk about your heart?”
And, of course, when you go visit someone in the hospital, you generally really like the person. So, the only thing you ever want to do is make that person feel loved, entertained, and happy. So, to think you may be overwhelming them or saying the wrong stuff, or stressing them out – it’s scary!
So, there you have it. The inside panic I feel at visiting people in the hospital. And I’ve survived my first experience doing that.
(And yes, that is a very possibly vain-sounding statement since we should be concerned about the person whom I went to visit (who is completely more than fine and out of the hospital, by the way). But, this blog is my perspective. So, even if I wouldn’t be the main character in the TV movie of something – I’m almost always the main character here – in the ongoing story of me…)
Also, as scary and stressful as it is to visit someone (which I’m sure it is a for the patient as well (sorry!)), there is one awesome thing about visiting people in the hospital. And that’s what we’ll talk about tomorrow.