(If you want to skip dress/some body image talk, skip ahead to part 3.)
Picking up from last time –
Not that everything has to be about my looks, or my weight, or be stressful or anything. But since this sort of was in some ways, I’m just gonna share that a bit.
One of the reasons I bought the dress online was not just the convenience or affordability – it is that I hate shopping. Shopping is stressful. I’ve never put that much thought or energy into what I wear. I hate thinking about it. I hate seeing things on hangers, then seeing how they fit me and all the imperfections in the various things I wear. I have just never liked shopping. Eeesh.
So, part of the reason I just wanted to order a dress is so I could be done with it, without focusing on every small imperfection that’s amplified in its own special way in every dress.
One thing I learned about ordering online, is even though I took my measurements very carefully to make sure the dress wouldn’t be too tight, it came with a very loose top and a bottom that was a bit too tight.
So, I think if I were going to do it again, I’d add an inch to all my measurements just to be safe. You can always tailor something in, but you can’t always easily tailor something out, if you don’t have extra fabric to do it. So, there’s that.
But then, even having it tailored was an interesting experience in itself. As my body is ever-changing and I’m getting used to a new way I look, I feel like I just don’t necessarily understand yet how clothes fit. I was wondering, “uh, is this too tight?” And people were saying the skirt looked fine… and I think it did. I guess I just don’t have a good understanding of how clothes are supposed to fit – which I know is a weird thing to say, as humans generally have an understanding of how clothes work. And yet, it seems to be something I’m still figuring out.
The only other dress stuff I have to say is that I realized the day after that I didn’t get any beautiful single shots of myself. You know how people have red carpet shots, and they’re showing off their cool back and everything? I didn’t take any of just me.
As much as I wish I would’ve gotten a shot in that dress showing off the cool halter back –
1) the dress still exists and I can put it on anytime I want.
2) I actually think it’s nicer that I wasn’t preoccupied with getting shots of myself, as it wasn’t my night. All my shots are with other people, ’cause I was in the moment and celebrating them. We can get tons of shots of me when I go back for my own nomination. 😉
I’ll talk more about the Creative Arts Emmys in the next post.