Picking up from last time –
Another thing she asked me was this: “On a scale of 1 – 10: 1 being that you’re going to run out of here and never come back, 10 being that you’re ready to give your kidney now, where are you?”
I (of course) said I was a 9 or 10.
She did more deep furrowing of her brow, and in a disapproving tone stated she liked people to be more at a 5 or a 6.
Are you kidding me with this?! I can’t, y’all. I cannot take this! I didn’t know how to take it in the meeting, and I don’t even know how to write it down now.
Let’s just recap here for a second… I have now gotten 2 full written packets and 2 DVDs. I have gotten many medical tests, making numerous (sometimes lengthy) trips to a lab over the past 3 months. I’ve done a 24-hour urine collection on 3 separate occasions. I have heard a lecture from a surgeon and a nurse. I have gotten to individually speak with every person on the transplant team. Everything’s been explained in deep, deep detail. And I’ve had every opportunity to ask any questions I have.
Someone explain to me how it’s possible that someone could still be at a 5 after all of that! If you’re at a 5, what else can the hospital or UNOS or anyone possibly do at that point to get you to make up your mid? I just can’t – my brain is exploding right now, because that seems so indecisive to me!
A 1 or 2 I could definitely understand. If after the lecture and the meetings you think, “Nope, no, no, no, no. I’m so sorry hospital, but this is just too much!” I could see that. If you’re secure in your decision to give, I could see that. But why, oh why, would she want someone who doesn’t know what they want?!
(Genuinely, if someone has a real answer to this, please, oh please, feel free to share it in the comments… And if you agree that the idea of being at a 5 or 6 doesn’t make any sense, please feel free to share that as well so I feel validated.)
We’ll finish up my meeting with her next time when we’ll talk about a lack of compassion.