Picking up from last time –
First a small thing that was bothersome – I felt like after I got my rejection, I was constantly seeing commercials for Donate Life. And there was a little part of me who wanted to jump through the TV every time I saw one! I’d think, “I’m trying here! I’m trying so hard.”
I know those commercials are just commercials, but it felt like this whole thing was being totally rubbed in my face every time I saw one (which seemed to be all the time…).
Another things that was sort of hard for me was hearing the stories of the people I’d met at Big Kidney Day. I kept in touch with two of them. And I was so happy they got to give their kidneys. Really. I’m wildly happy for them that it worked out.
But just because I’m happy for them doesn’t make it any easier to hear about how it was such an incredible, enlightening, amazing experience. They talked about the recovery not being bad at all, and the rewards being plentiful – feeling amazing and loving seeing the improved life of the donee.
All of that news is so wonderful! And it makes me believe even harder in kidney donation. But gee, was it a bit hard to hear – especially when I was hearing some of it while I was still in my mandatory 3-month “cool down” period – and they were giving kidneys.
I don’t want to sound selfish or needy, but there was a part of me that felt a little left behind and “why am I not good enough, but these people are?”
I’m sorry I’m maybe not explaining it well. But it was a little tough. That’s all.
Next time, we’ll get into my medical chart!