That Time I (Maybe?) Gave Away A Kidney – Part 4 (No Sleep Before Big Kidney Day)

Wednesday, January 14th, 2015
Aurora De Lucia trying on dresses to wear to the Creative Arts Emmys

I only have so many kidney photos. So, here I am trying on some dresses (as I mention in the post).

Time for another installment of this Wednesday/Sunday night series!

Picking up from last time

I got so nervous for Big Kidney Day! I had no idea how it would affect me until it got close.

Granted, there was some other very mildly stressful stuff happening that week (choosing my Emmys dress (and not understanding how to shop at my new smaller (yet not really small) size), winding down my job and looking for a new one, etc.).

There was nothing that was any real problem, or anything to actually stress about. (I have 5 or so jobs a year, so what’s another change? They’re always changing. Get over it, Aurora.) It was all tiny stuff too. (Why would I waste any energy being stressed about a dress? It’s a dress!)

Basically, I think with the kidney thing looming, everything else in life looked bigger than it actually was… It was just an overwhelming day in general, ’cause I just wanted everything to go right. I knew if I screwed up again, if I didn’t say the right things in the interview, then I would be the reason someone died.

Yes, that sounds dramatic, but it’s kind of true.

I barely slept – maybe for an hour or two, in total, with lots of tossing and turning and waking up in between.

I stayed at a friend’s house in Santa Monica so I’d be closer to the hospital (and wouldn’t have to get up quite so early). I thought that was a great decision, but it ended up being dumb – though I don’t think there was any way for me to know that ahead of time.

Aurora De Lucia playing pool in the break room at work

Just hanging out in the fabulous break room at work. This was my life. This, plus fun grown-up dress up parties, and tests at a cool hospital (that was nothing like the last one). How could I have found stress in this? Aye, aye, aye, Aurora.

My friend had recently had a few really stressful days of his own. And I fed off his stress. I don’t want it to sound like I’m blaming him, ’cause I’m not. People should be allowed to have their stresses, and I certainly had mine!

I can’t blame anyone else’s attitude on how I choose to be. Even still, whether it was healthy or right, I think we were feeding off each other’s stress, which wasn’t good for either of us… Basically, it was a mess of a night.

And I didn’t realize how much I was going to wish I were at home. When I woke up in the middle of the night, all I wanted to do was work out. But I couldn’t just run down to the gym in my building – since I wasn’t there.

I did put on my running shoes. I even went out as though I was going to jog around the neighborhood. Once I got outside, I came almost right back in, as I was too afraid to jog at 3am.

I’ll run around downtown, or any awesomely building-ful place any time of night. But a neighborhood? That’s where dogs may be hanging in anyone’s yards, ready to bite your face off.

So, I felt a little trapped, went back in the house, and tried to get back to sleep – all night – until the morning came. So much for sleep. Oh well, it’s not like I have an interview that decides someone’s fate today. Oh wait…

And this is where I’ll pick up next time.

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