Picking up from last time –
My friend kind of tried to piece me back together (or at least get me normal enough to be presentable to go eat at Buffalo Wild Wings). (I love that place.)
He was one of the people who didn’t actually want me giving a kidney. So it was this very weird kind of non-comforting comforting.
‘Cause he was actually relieved, since he was in the small camp of friends who (despite statistics) believed kidney donation was dangerous and was trying to convince me not to do it.
So his comforting was more like [*said in a sarcastic way*] “oh noooo. You don’t get to give one of your vital organs! Whatever will you do?” It was sort of funny and kind of made me laugh a tiny bit. And I know he was trying to be funny and adorable. But it was still just a rough morning ’cause it’s like, “Yeah I get the humor. I appreciate you being there for me and giving me a hug right now. But goodness am I disappointed. That’s not totally going away.”
I felt bad ’cause I felt kind of distracted during lunch. I was totally off my game, missing answers in trivia I absolutely knew, consarn it!
My friend told me to come out drinking that night. He thought that might help, to have a night of just carefree hanging out with people mixed with some alcohol.
Now, in general, I don’t drink. I’ve read both of Madonna’s dermatologist’s books cover to cover. So I know the big secret to staying young is to not drink.
I usually try to deal with my stress by running. But I was feeling all weird and jumbled inside and thought maybe I’d go out on the town that night and see if alcohol could erase my problems for a night (sounds like a suuuuper healthy thought process, huh?).
I went to work after our late lunch (as I work nights). He texts me on my way home telling me to come out. I’m kind of hemming and hawing about it. “I don’t know. Is this gonna be fun or annoying? Are we all gonna be fun, or just sad/mean/angry drunks?”
Well, he’s already drinking and seems to be having a bunch of fun as he’s texting me. And when I get home I just feel so sad, and just kind of lonely sitting in my apartment alone. I contemplate going on the treadmill. But I’m like, “Eh, this is a devastating failure – bigger than the ones I usually run out. I’ve been invited to drink and my friend seems to be having a grand time out. So let’s just freaking try it.”
And this is where I’ll pick up next time.