Yesterday, I talked about how much I miss holding hands. Today, I want to talk about everything else.
I feel like I could do a whole blog series about various things I miss. But oh my gosh, this post is exhausting enough. I’m just gonna give the overview. And the overview of what, right now, I feel like I’m missing the most (other than holding hands, which we covered) is New York.
I miss my love for it so so so so much.
I think about how I used to look out the window of the uber every week to BMI and just be in love. I thought about how I used to walk all the way home (I think about 4 miles-ish) from BMI, because I just always wanted to be walking through the city.
I miss the excitement. I miss the incredible excitement of first moving, and how it all was an adventure.
I miss feeling joy and possibility.
I miss calmness and the city making me serene and safe (not jumpy and all that).
I miss it all.
I thought this was gonna be suuuuuch a long post detailing every little piece of every little thing I miss, but I don’t even know that I have it in me to write it – or that I even fully understand every little piece, when the thing is, I just miss all of it so much.
I miss walking down the street being excited about exploring the city, rather than being on edge.
I miss possibility.
I miss it all. I miss everything so much.
Excuse me while I go cry on the floor in the fetal position.
[This is from the sexual assault series.]