Aurora's Blog

I try to stay out of celebrity’s personal lives – or at least their personal lives as reported by others.

I imagine being in the public eye and having every single move scrutinized. If someone followed my every move, took pictures of me all day and night, and was constantly asking the people in my lives for information on me, would I always look good?

No. I’m human. As much as I like to believe I’m growing and great and fun and never lose my cool, or say something stupid – I constantly embarrass myself. I’m not perfect, and nobody else is. I don’t need to see celebrities in their most vulnerable or embarrassing moments. If I wouldn’t want it done to me, why do it to someone else?

This is a huge long lead up that has nothing to do with the Michael Jackson case – except to say that I have abandoned the way I usually act about these things.

When Michael Jackson was alive, I was good about staying out of his business. People always think it’s odd when I can talk about the engineering on his songs in depth – yet don’t know a bunch of his personal information.

“But I thought you were a fan?” Yeah. A huge fan of his music, his message – all the good stuff. But his personal life? I have no reason to care.

But… now that he’s dead, I can’t control myself. I used to watch the Conrad Murray trial everyday. I don’t know if y’all had it so in depth, but here in California they showed stuff almost 24/7. It filled my DVR. I don’t think I put other shows on there during that time – there was no room.

I felt bad, like maybe I was peering in on Michael Jackson’s life. But… Have you ever been in one of those situations where something just doesn’t make any sense at all. And you believe that maybe, just maybe, if you get all of the information, and you try so hard to sort it all out and get answers to a million questions – perhaps somehow it will all make sense? You know it’s never gonna make sense, ’cause some things in life just don’t. But, let’s just keep digging anyway as if that will help…

That’s how I kind of felt. How could he possibly die? I wanted to know definitively that it was Conrad Murray’s fault. I wanted to know how much to blame Michael. After watching the trial, I was sufficiently convinced Conrad Murray killed Michael Jackson.

(He didn’t watch him while administering propofol?! He took forever to call for any help?! He didn’t even administer CPR on a hard surface? I know your brain is going a million miles a second, but you are a doctor! And you didn’t make one decision that ended Michael Jackson’s life – you made multiple critical decisions if almost any of which had been different, he might still be alive today.)

And now this AEG thing is happening. And it sounds gross and horrible. The more details that come out, the worse it sounds. I don’t know what you all are gathering, but to me AEG sounds pretty evil. And I hope they suffer consequences.

Also, have you seen that someone who happens to be employed as a choreographer at AEG is now – after years and years of steadfastly, unwaveringly supporting Michael Jackson – is claiming he’s been molested?

How much is your soul and conscience worth, dude? The man is dead, and now you’re going to commit perjury, and throw someone you’ve spoken so highly of under a bus… for a job? (And if any of you are thinking he might not be committing perjury – somewhere he is! He was either lying under oath in his defense of Michael Jackson through a thorough cross-examination 8 years ago – or he’s lying under oath now. And if any of you are thinking “he was just a kid back then!” – he’s in his 30s now, so he was an adult during the child molestation trial.

I guess the moral of all this is people and companies are so gross – especially when it comes to money. Also, Michael Jackson wasn’t as appreciated as he should’ve been. I’m so unbelievably sad about what happened in his life. But, I’m sure the people closest to him who actually did care just had no idea how to help him. ‘Cause how could they have? I really don’t know.

And finally, I’m also gross for being sucked into watching so much of something like this.

Michael Jackson is gone. No matter how much we learn, and how much we hope that somehow we can logic him into being back into existence, it just doesn’t work like that.