Piggybacking on the idea of yesterday’s post – I am too concerned with beauty.
This is kind of a weird, contradictory statement, right? Because I hardly ever wear make-up. I’m constantly leaving the house in pajamas and a baseball cap.
But, I want that whole natural look to be as cute as possible for as long as it can be. Therefore, I am overly-worried about the stuff that goes along with that.
Also, let me say that the title of this post sucks (though I’ve never been known for catchy blog titles). I was going to call it “Aging Gracefully? Not over here!” But I really don’t like the idea that aging is so hard and horrible that we have to do it gracefully.
In so many ways, aging rocks! Hopefully it brings us more wisdom and freedom. But getting pck to the point –
I’ve been working on a major clean out of my computer, and one of the things I found…. In iMovie, I have a video of myself from 2009, ’10, and ’11 labeled “forehead wrinkles [year].”
That’s right. I take a video of myself every year making different expressions for the pure purpose of seeing how deep and long my wrinkles are getting during my expressions. (It’s a video instead of a photo so I can see the movements as I talk and sing etc.)
In the first video (and I think the second one) I heard myself say in the tape that it might just be time to get a needle in my face.
I was in college.
(If anyone’s wondering, I have yet to try a needle in my face. We’ll see now long I can get away with that.)
This year I didn’t want to make a tape where I checked out all the winkles on my face – not necessarily because I’m growing and think that’s a stupid idea (though I sort of do), but because I’m afraid what might show up in the tape this year.
If I didn’t like what I saw in 2009, imagine what I’m gonna think in 2013.
(Side story: Pretty recently, I was out to dinner with one of the most wonderful friends I have in this world. I asked with all sincerity if he was staring to think less of me now that I’m getting even older. He looked me right in the eyes, with the sweetest eyes, and said, “You have to get out of Los Angeles.”
That’s some of the sweetest, truest advice I’ve ever been given (though I doubt I’ll take it anytime soon). But thank goodness for our kindest, most supportive friends and allies (who at least sort of keep us grounded), right?)
It almost makes me a bit sad that I’ve worried about my wrinkles for so long. On the one hand, great I guess. Worry early and take steps to minimize them before they become a huge problem.
But on the other hand, I think about times I’ve been careful not to smile too wide in photos or in interactions because I don’t want wrinkles to form or show. But emotions need to be shown on faces!
I think beauty standards are set too high, and with way, way, way too much of an obsession on youth. I have fallen right into the trap.
(Instead of trying to climb out of the trap, I just live there. We all do to some extent, right? Since that’s where society lives… So, I don’t know how to really do anything different. And I might not ever.)