Picking up from yesterday –
But the thing is, BMI wasn’t going well in any way.
And… not to she *too* much information, and hopefully it doesn’t sound like I’m throwing anyone under the bus here… but I’d basically 100% made my decision and that Sunday night or Monday morning, I got an email from my composer on my assignment…
It’s kind of a long story (that I could 100% tell you over Denny’s). The part I’ll say here is that I won’t argue that his email in general was unjustified. But I will say that in it, I saw that I really felt like I was not seen as a “real” musician or as a performer in many people’s eyes. And with the way that email was worded, and the way our song was going, I knew.
I mean, I already knew. But that was a perfect final nail.
I had to be in early to do something at work. And as soon as that was done, I headed to the gym and worked out and cried for an hour. I just tried to get it all out (both with the workout, and with the crying.)
It was just soooooo many emotions all at once. It was the relief of believing I probably wouldn’t be able to do second year with this class – needing to postpone and getting a break, and maybe doing better later. It was the incredible huge excitement of being an editor! (A real grown-up, big time editor.) It was the intense heart-wrenching sadness of knowing there was a chance that I was giving up something I truly love and adore.
It was an avalanche of emotions that all came tumbling out.
So, I told my boss. And then I started doing more editing and training throughout February – until I got in the chair on Feb 22.
And I’ve never been happier.