Picking up from yesterday –
Again, I realize that I desperately needed a break. I realize that I was miserable. I realize I was not doing well. I realize I was in a new position at work, that kind of more demanded I be there on Monday nights – especially when my boss was going on maternity leave, so we were already a little more short-handed than usual.
I realize that. I try to see that. But I also see, “Oh my gosh. What’s 3 more months? You have that in you, don’t you? Don’t you, Aurora?!”
…But I guess I didn’t.
I also sometimes go back even further wondering if I’d gotten in another year, or this year done various things differently, and on and on
…But the thing I’ve had to remind myself 1,000 times is that if I’d been doing better, I would’ve never taken the promotion that would’ve jeopardized BMI… And then I would’ve missed out on the best thing in the world that ever happened to me.
And if school had to be so painful to get there, so be it.
Still though. I kinda wish I would’ve just made those three months work. *Sigh.* Too late now!
[For more on my experience with the BMI workshop, you can click here.]
[For more on sexual assault (which is why I really left), you can read here.]