Yep! I’m stiiiiiill catching up on my blog. (I don’t know if I’ll ever get there, guys. But I sure as goodness will try).
Anyway, we’re still in 2019, so at least these aren’t toooooooo late.
So, let’s get into it!
Another set of the annual birthday questions!
1) What are you proudest of from this year?
GETTING INTO THIRD YEAR BMI!
At the freaking buzzer! I got the email THIS MORNING [the morning of my birthday, I’m back-posting, and yes, you’ll hear this whole story before you know it]. I’ve never had the “proudest thing” fall ON my birthday before. In that case, I’m not 100% sure which year gets to take ownership of it, but I’ve decided to make the judgement call based on if it happened before the *time* I was born, I’m gonna count it as the previous year, and after, I’ll count as the following year. I was born late at night. So, this is counting for the 2018-2019 year, as far as I’m concerned!
Yeah, I don’t know what else to say about that. After SO much – so, so, so much, we freaking did it [or we “forking” did it, as I’ve been liking to say in my announcements, since our source material was The Good Place] – such an immense relief.
For more about BMI, it’s a whole freaking section of my blog haha.
2) – the opposite of that question in a way in which you choose to look at it (e.g. your biggest failure, regret, lesson etc.)?
I think the lesson I’m gonna try my best to kind of take away from this year is Gary’s lesson – “you’re not gone, you’re here.” The past few years have been kinda rough for me in various ways (as you probably know from this blog). And I feel like I get lost sometimes in where I “should be” or “should’ve been” or “could be” or “could’ve been” and all this stuff.
While I do think it’s important to try to learn from the past (when possible), ultimately, you can’t change it. So, I’m not there. I’m here. I think that also goes for when I’m in LA, not trying to think about what I’m missing from New York, and vice versa – just be in the place I’m in.
[And if I reeeeally want to be somewhere else that badly. Well, then figure it out, and leave, and go there.]
3) What’s your biggest goal for the upcoming year?
Well, this is a little silly haha, but I don’t care… I have my own personal list of things that I’ve felt will make me feel like I’m “officially” over everything that happened, as far as like being assaulted and getting out of an abusive relationship… Some stuff is simple, some stuff is less so. Some of it’s been accomplished. Some hasn’t. It’s stuff like go to an event at the Barclay’s Center, because that was the neighborhood where it happened, and I used to get panic attacks even hearing that subway stop mentioned. Like, I didn’t even want to go to Brooklyn – the whole borough.
So, I’d really love to work my way through that list by the end of next year.
I don’t know if the list will really do anything. I don’t know if there is a checklist, or a moment, or an anything that really delineates clearly the line between being “over it” and not, or if you ever reeeeeally get “over it” completely. Trauma is probably stored somewhere in our body in at least small ways forever. Nonetheless, I’m a checklist kinda gal, so I’d really like to do my list.
[And I want the kidney-to-a-stranger thing to happen in the not too crazy distant future. So, I’d like to maybe start to work on that as well. Plus, I’d love to get into NYMF (the New York Musical Festival) – though even if I do get in, in this upcoming application phase, the performance itself won’t be until after my next birthday!]
So closes out another year. And I’ll tell you about bungee jumping tomorrow!