Picking up from yesterday –
So, if you just want to hear about Wheel of Fortune strategies, and my game-playing brain during the game, I’d say skip this post. This is more self reflective.
If you’re a reader of the blog/someone who knows me/someone who for some reason cares about my inner weirdness, read on!
Have you ever noticed that anytime I publicly feel joy (this is also probably privately true as well. I just don’t have all those cameras on me in private to be able to watch it be played back), I’m not actually really feeling joy. I’m feeling relief.
(And I’m sorry if I’ve said this before, because I may have talked about it on the blog, but if not, I’ve certainly talked about it in therapy hahaha.)
I somehow got it in my head when I was younger that winning is the only option. And if you lose, it doesn’t mean you just didn’t do the best of anyone there, it means you reeeeeally messed up. You might as well not have even gone to whatever it is you lost.
I know I “joke” about “if you’re not first, you’re last” is one of my favorite quotes, but that’s kinda real.
I make these huge life goals and dreams and everything. And when I accomplish them, I don’t think I feel this giant sense of pride. I feel relief that I have another thing off the list done.
So, when I won the trip to Barbados, it’s not that I can’t wait to go to Barbados with Alex. It’s that for almost 7 years [minus 6 days, because my Price is Right episode aired March 19, 2013 and we taped this on March 13, 2020], since I was on The Price is Right. I have been asked about game shows SO much, and one of the things I’m asked ALL the time is to talk about trips! And I didn’t know the answers, because I’d never won a trip on a game show.
It has been my dream to be on Wheel for so long, and I turned down opportunities on other game shows, because I had to hold out for Wheel. (You aren’t allowed to have been a main contestant on any other game shows in the previous 10 years to Wheel, so I couldn’t be on any more, basically, if I wanted to be on Wheel. So, I wanted this to be worth it.
If I had not won a trip, it would’ve been a super bummer. But if I had full on landed on Express in the prize puzzle and somehow not won, it would’ve been a disaster.
So, what you’re seeing when I have “joy” on my face is relief – relief that I won a trip, which was the main thing I set out to do, and relief that it looks like I’m actually gonna win the game. So, even though I had a few missteps (such as honey bun, and others we’ll get to), I could beat myself up a little, but I didn’t have to worry toooooo much, maybe because if you win, you win (kind of – I still beat myself up for mistakes, but at least you won, nonetheless)!
So, anyway, there you have it. I’m not actually sure which feels better – joy or relief, because I feel relief when I should be feeling joy. But maaaaaaaaaaan oh man oh man oh man does that relief feel OH so good!
And this is where I’ll pick up tomorrow.