I haven’t always been in charge in every situation in my life. For instance, I have been a subordinate on TV shows
Sometimes, I thought we really should keep a joke or whatever, but then the producer tells you you’ve got to cut it out. And you do it, because that person’s your boss. You don’t have to argue, because there’s a hierarchy and it’s simple.
But in this whole working-exactly-together-all-the-time-thing, it’s confusing and it’s hard.
And it’s so hard too, because you only perform maybe once a month. So you bathe in a failure for a while if you have one.
And there are no ‘scene nights’ or anything. There is nothing extra. I mean, I guess there is just New York in general. Some of the people in my class are performing at 54 Below here and there. I mean, you can try to do stuff in the city. And that’s a thing, I guess. But there’s no real like “extra credit” from ‘school,’ as far as I can gather.
Also, B and I were talking about how I had my 7-point plan in high school to become theater president. And I exclaimed, “There’s no 7-point-plan to be made here!” [Because you become ‘equal’ partners with new strangers all the time, so much is out of your control, etc., etc….]
…which she started to explain actually isn’t true.
She’s said, “Well, you could try to give insightful comments to every song. You could try to get to know people at the bar. You could reach out to people individually and form more friendships that way. You could go to more stuff – people’s shows, the lyricist hang-out, all that jazz.”
I may half-hate to admit it, but she was kind of right. I think there probably is a 7-point-plan to be cracked in BMI.
I’m not 100% sure if it’s too late. It might not be! …It might feel that way (that it’s too late), but that’s potentially false.
So, I dunno.
*Sigh, and shakes head*
[For more on my experience in BMI, you can go here.]
[For the series on sexual assault (which was the true impetus of why the program was going quite so poorly), you can go here.]
[Thanks!]