Picking up from yesterday –
I mean, it seems unimaginable to me to claim someone sexually assaulted me just because a relationship ended, or because I’m mad, or something…
(I don’t even know how that would cross someone’s mind, or how they’d make up all the details, or how they wouldn’t be wracked with guilt for lying about something like that, and on and on…)
One small example of my confusion on this – Some years ago a man who said he loved me (whom I’d been with, sort of intensely, for a bit of a while), abruptly left me for another woman (in not the super nicest way).
(We’re still friendly, and everything is fine. But at the time it happened it was not all that pleasant…)
I was indeed upset that that relationship ended (and I was more upset about the blindsiding, sad way in which it ended)… And still, I never once uttered to a soul on this planet that that man sexually assaulted me – because he didn’t!
Relationships end. Sometimes people are mad about it. But this idea that anyone would lie about being sexually assaulted because they’re mad seems kinda incomprehensible to me…
Because why? What on earth would that possibly accomplish?
Do you think I cry in the middle of sex – interrupting something fun and enjoyable – because I’m lying? Do I gain anything from embarrassing myself in bed, and throwing a wrench in the mood?
Do you think I wake up crying from nightmares, alone, where it doesn’t affect anyone but me, and doesn’t waste anybody’s time but my own, nor get me any “attention” or whatever it is some people think I’m seeking… because I’m mad at some dude, and I’m somehow trying to “get back” at him?
This has never been a blog that’s been about sex and relationships, and I never wanted it to be. And then this happened, and now we’re talking about all this…
That anyone would think that I’d be getting any more or better attention for sexual assault than I would for running marathons, or being on game shows, or volunteering a bunch, or working in the TV industry, or any of the other stuff I talk about on my blog… It seems so silly to me! Who would want to talk about this, and get attention for this?
And this is where I’ll pick up tomorrow!